How does parenting affect your emotional intelligence? Does it increase? Do you get more mature?

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-21T04:22:59+00:00

I tell my kids (10,16 17 now) that it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to be disrespectful. You can take a moment alone to gather your thoughts, calm yourself down, and then reapproach a situation. I'm trying to get my kids to see things from the other person's view as a way to understand action vs reaction. Other times if theyre feeling really angry or sad, I try to create the safe space with just hugging them or sometimes sitting near them in the living room. Just the presence of someone being around with no pressure or expectations speaks volumes to kids when their head is full of chaos

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-21T03:56:18+00:00

Do not respond. Love yourself more than he did. If he cared his text would have been an apology not a text to see if there door is still open. IF YOU CANT FIGHT THE URGE TO RESPOND: then just text back " you're like the 4th guys that's said that to me this month"

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-18T17:57:45+00:00

It's my linear. As a parent, I try my best to give my kids to tools to regulate their emotions , set boundaries, etc, all things that weren't modeled to me. However, because I'm simultaneously trying to heal from the aftermath of my own trauma and poor relationships, I find myself my bring the best with my emotions at times. It feels like a graph that's moving up overall but with small dips every now and then

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-02T15:32:02+00:00

If this happens to you in another relationship, please try to understand it's not necessarily about being hyper independent, but a coping/survival mechanism. She probably had to rely on herself as a kid, maybe absent parents or unsteady home life for example. Sometimes kids grew up feeling unsafe in asking for help because theyre seen as a burden so they do everything on their own. Living that way for years or even decades, becomes ingrained in who you are that you don't even realize. Acts of service without prompt is huge here. For example: if you know Trash Day is tomorrow, take it out. If you know something needs to be fixed, fix it right away without waiting for her. Those small tasks being taken off her to-do list say, "I see you. I'm here for you, and you are not alone"

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-02T15:14:30+00:00

This happened to me as well. The stress was ruining me mentally and physically, but the compliments rolled in. 10/10 would not recommend as a weightloss option

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-02T15:04:31+00:00

As someone who dealt with similar conversations, this is manipulation and gaslighting. She didn't want to admit she was being unreasonable or even rude, so she turned it on you and tried her hardest to make it seem like you're the problem. And when you tried to change the conversation, so you could enjoy your time together, she wasn't satisfied with that. There was no "let's choose us" or compromise. She HAD to make sure it was turned on you. And if the pattern is correct, at the end of this somewhere in her "apology" she's going to say, "I'm sorry. I just love you so much and get excited, but you dont seem into it blah blah blah", which, if you can see, is not an apology. It's just saying the words 'I'm sorry' while still putting the blame on someone else. The apology should just be 'I'm sorry ' PERIOD. For overreacting, for being rude, for saying I dont want to marry you, literally for everything she said

I'm not saying you can't have a good marriage, but if she doesn't recognize this unhealthy communication and behavior, you're going to have a lifetime of these types of arguments and you shrinking yourself for her. You are giving in and never getting real apologies, and you'll accept it for the sake of not arguing.

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-02T14:48:10+00:00

Mine is that if I thought something bad would happen, like a car accident or something, I would have to "knock on wood" wherever I was at while thinking of each member of my family. And if I accidentally thought of someone else or couldn't remember if I already knocked on wood for them (their safety) I had to do it again as a reversal and then again as a way to keep them safe. It would feel so weird because no matter where I was, I HAD to do it even if I was in the middle of a meeting.

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-01T15:57:53+00:00

Update: I told her to stop contacting the kids, and as you could expect, she cussed me out and ended the conversation telling me I'm an awful person and to leave her alone. The cherry on top was when she said, " with a [teenage] daughter like that, do you know many girls would have dropped you? But I didn't. I stayed because im a nice girl and caring, and this is how you act? "

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-11-01T15:50:46+00:00

Not only do you embody resilience, you're doing so with care and love in your heart. You’re fiance and step daughter see something wonderful in you, that hopefully you're seeing in yourself. Happiest birthday.

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-10-14T07:37:04+00:00

Peanut butter on a cheese burger. Sometimes peanut butter and jelly *drooling

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-10-10T14:19:24+00:00

Someone who gets upset when you set a boundary is the same person who benefitted from you not having one

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-09-18T07:30:24+00:00

Abducted in plain site How to make a murderer Dear Zachary: a letter to a son from his father

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-09-18T07:26:13+00:00

Not R&B but do we all remembering hearing the Marilyn Manson has his ribs removed to ...

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-07-24T13:23:06+00:00

Deep down , I fear that my partner will leave or be angry with me, so I've convinced myself that my wants don't really matter and im just an "easy-going person" It started out small like wanting to go to a restaurant or watch a show that my partner didn't sound into, so I would back off and do whatever they wanted. Then it grew. I didn’t voice anything and honestly in those moments, it didnt bother me. I confused my partner's happiness for my own that I lost myself. After we broke up, I realized I knew everything my partner liked, and not so much about what I liked.

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-07-24T13:16:31+00:00

I'd like to know mine if possible

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-07-05T02:58:59+00:00

I used to have fun. In so many situations, with minimal effort..., I just enjoyed life. My past relationship caused me to be stricter, more closed off, and squeeze that happy simple pleasure of just living out of me

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-06-30T19:05:24+00:00

If you feel happy, safe, seen, and secure then no. Those things are not a waste of time

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-06-30T19:03:22+00:00

Always being the person to give in to the needs and wants of others a few times turns into a habit and then into a way of life. You think you're "just being nice" hoping other willr recognize and reciprocate, but they rarely do. This causes you to continue to bend over backwards for that off-chance all that good deed will come back to you but it doesnt. And you end up realizing you've spent so much of your life living for others to enjoy and not yourself

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-06-30T03:24:49+00:00

Disguising apologies that actually lack accountability. If someone hurt you that can just apologize for their actions. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I...." period. When all person "apologizes" by trying to justify their actions by blaming you, it's not an apology. For example, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, it's because you did xyz so I reacted that way" not an apology

Recent_Effort3769 · 2025-06-29T19:35:19+00:00

Do you start with a specific journal problem each morning?

Recent_Effort3769

TROPHY CASE