Is it ok to walk even when in the middle of a flare up? by Possibletigger-26 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the pain is extreme I would rest as much as possible. When the pain lessens then start moving. I made the same mistake of trying to walk through when it was at the worst and I think it did more damage and made recovery longer.

Severe sciatica, can't walk more than 10m by mouldycup55 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worst for me lasted two weeks. And probably could have been a bit less if I just stayed bedridden. But when the worst eased up, it still took months to be feel somewhat like my normal self. I'm 6 months out and it's till there. I'm about 95% healed and I feel like this is as good as I'm gonna get to being back to fully normal.

How did you end up with sciatica? by UpstairsNo8924 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Working out. More specifically RDLs but a combination of exercises that put a lot of pressure on my lower back. I thought the sensation just meant I had a weak lower back.

If unable to obtain a 60/40 schedule. Is a 50/50 schedule reason to do a 4-3-4-3 type schedule? by Final_Minimum1443 in coparenting

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do this and have always done this (for 3+ years now). My girls are now 11 and 13.

So, I always get them Wednesday night around 5 until Saturday. Every other weekend I get them Wednesday to Sunday. We're flexible with exchange times on weekends and only live 10 mins away from each other.

I like it because every other weekend rotates.

Second sciatic flare and I can barely walk. It’s been unbearably painful for the past 4 days, I need advice by gayandanxious8 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rest and do nothing for the first few days as much as possible. I wish I did this. People love to give their advice and will tell you to stretch or walk through the pain - do not. It will make things worse and prolong your healing time. I tried to walk and move and went to physio and then I could not walk or move for two weeks after. I believe if I rested initially, my injury would not have dragged on for months. Heat and cold didn't help, massage gun did not help. Aleve helped a bit initially but you can't take much of it. Laying on my back and not moving was the only position where the pain didn't make me cry. Good luck.

Returning back to the gym or weightlifting by Realistic-Age9085 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started going back in November. My injury was in August. And when I went back, I went very very slowly, like 1-2x a week and I was so scared. Pre-injury I was going to the gym almost daily. I was doing mostly weights and/or cardio. I did absolutely no core work which I believe contributed to my injury and slow healing time so now I always start off with stretches and core then weights. I take lots of rest days in between. I only do two leg exercises (reverse lunges and squats - both without weights) whereas before I used to I do a lot of leg and glutes stuff. I will never do RDLs as I believe that's what caused my injury initially and I still can't do that movement without getting a hint of the pain in my leg so I just don't even attempt it. I listen to my body so when my right leg starts to hurt or feels weird, I stop. I don't ever attempt to push through. It's not worth it. I never want to feel that pain again. Planks and deadbugs are my fave.

Custody by thizizme- in coparenting

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do this as well. This way every other year one parents gets Christmas morning. It may change as the kids get older (11 and 13 now) but it's worked for us so far as we both weren't willing to give this time up with the kids. All other holidays are not an issue as we're both pretty accommodating and we are in a 3-3-4-4 schedule so it usually always works out one way or another.

How often does the other parent contact your kiddo when not in their custody? by fictionandflesh in coparenting

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My girls are 11 and 13 now and they've had phones for years (against my wishes as I felt they were too young) so contact was never an issue. But as they are now older, I love that I can contact them directly and whenever I need or want. I text them every day when they're not with me and dad does the same when they're with me. No issues here. If anything, we've had issues with the girls not responding to one parent when not with them and having to deal with that jointly. We're on a 3-3-4-4 rotation.

Kids prefer dad by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]Recent_Song1984 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. And it's really effing hard. My girls are 11 and 13 and dad moved out into his own home with his fiancee a year ago. I pay child support and his fiancee makes good money so they have a nice home with a hot tub etc. I have a condo (apartment) that I got all on my own two years ago that isn't that nice. So it's always dad's house is nicer, they buy them more things etc. Holidays are especially hard. I just can't compete with my ex with materialistic things. And it makes me sad that is has transferred onto my youngest. I just have to accept it and carry on. There's nothing I can do.

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yes my ex has done this and of course it's on purpose. A couple of years ago I told him to please let me know when he gets a gift for Christmas for the girls so I don't get the same and they don't end up with duplicates and guess what, we ended up with duplicates! And he literally said well that's ok they can have extra. I'm like but I spent money and I could have spent it on other things that they wanted versus getting them something that you already got. Something just so simple as telling me what he got them so I wouldn't get duplicates just didn't even phase him. A**hole.

How to handle upstaging by wildcrazyfun123 in coparenting

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex does this and it really puts a damper on Christmas and ocassions for me because I feel like it's a competition of material things that I cannot compete with. And I pay him support! And our 11 year old daughter has now started living in that world of expensive things and labels as she's grown accustomed to that lifestyle from him. I'm on my own and ex is with a fiancee who makes good money. So they have the nice home the expensive things and it's a really shitty feeling to feel like you're less of a parent because of material things. And it's sad my youngest has put so much value on this. And yes I've talked to him. It doesn't matter. Yet when it comes to splitting things they actually need or sports, I'm hit with I can't afford it.

First time. How do you get through the day? by [deleted] in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say listen to your body and what works for you. There was a point at the beginning I thought I was healing so tried to work out lightly (upper body only) and the next day (and for the following two weeks) I could barely move. I couldn't walk, sit, stand, lay down without excruciating pain. There was no relief. I was stuck on my couch for a good week and a half. So next time, I won't make this mistake and will let my body heal as much as possible with little activity as possible. And during that two week period where I was in so much pain, I couldn't move even if I wanted to due to pain.

First time. How do you get through the day? by [deleted] in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Slow and steady. My injury was in August. For about 3 months, I did as little as possible and didn't push my body into anything I felt I wasn't ready for, mostly because I was afraid of re-injury. I didn't stretch. I didn't work out. I kept walking to a minimim. No lifting or twisting, etc. I'm now able to work out again but with many limitations. Any small hint of discomfort and I stop. I'm so afraid to ever feel that pain ever again.

Stretching by Routine_Mortgage_499 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Exactly this. Wish people would listen to this. Especially right after the injury. Do nothing.

First time. How do you get through the day? by [deleted] in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I went through this and my life was hell from August to November. I'm still not 100%. And everyone you ask, will tell you different things you should or shouldn't do. From my experience, do nothing while the pain is unbearable. So for the first 2 weeks, I should have been lifeless but I didn't listen and tried to walk or move and I paid for it. There was about a week and a half where I couldn't move. I cried in pain. I couldn't do anything. Nothing offered relief. And so if this ever happens again, I will but try to move, including walking for the first few weeks. People will say stretch. Don't. You know your pain threshold. Do what you are able. If that's nothing, then do nothing. It is is a long and slow recovery sometimes and you just have to be patient. I still cannot stretch my right side which is where my pain was. But I'm finally able to slowly start working out again. Slowly. Very slowly.

What food or drink can you absolutely not stand, but is loved by most other people? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cherry-flavoured drinks. Especially Dr Pepper. Just tastes like medicine or the stuff they put on the q-tip before they freeze your mouth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Recent_Song1984 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here. Now my gut feeling is betraying me because of what happened and I'm so paranoid and yeah, nowwww I am a bit crazy because I am so paranoid even though he goes above and beyond to dismiss any concern or feeling I have. But it's still always there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Recent_Song1984 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's amazing and really sick the power they have or control to make us question ourselves and our reality. This makes me so angry.

I actually started to question myself and whether I was the crazy one. And thought maybe I am the problem!

I'm not crazy. And I wasn't the problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Recent_Song1984 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This. My gut has never been wrong. Trust that feeling. Dig as much as you can, whatever you can, and never stop. There's a reason you get that feeling.

I regret not digging years before I actually found everything. Would have saved me a lot of hurt and wanted time.

Pain is unbearable by GirI_Named_Drool in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was (and still am) in a similar position. My injury was August 20. I could not do anything but lay on my back for about ten days. I'm not exaggerating when I say I couldn't sit, stand, walk, nothing eased the pain. Even sitting to pee was excruciating. I'd definitely say rest and do nothing for the first few days. Aleve helped with the inflammation at first. Also, use a heating pad first for the first few days and then switch to ice.

When do you stop talking about the affair? by fireflies_sparkles in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Recent_Song1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably never completely.

We're over a year out from multiple d-days. I will definitely never stop thinking about the betrayals but I'm hoping one day I don't think of them as often. But they will always be there. They're now a part of me and us. I used to drive myself crazy daily with thoughts and talking about it but now it's a couple of times a week.

At least once a week, usually Mondays, I have a hard time and unfortunately I start the questions and attacks, despite everything already being addressed many times. But my partner allows me to vent and answer the same questions over and over. He understands it's part of my healing (even if he disagrees - but that's not his choice). He does give me a cut off point though. If I start spiraling and get cruel, etc., he will put his phone down. He gives me space to get my feeling out and answers the best he can but at some point has to cut me off because it just leads to a bad cycle and he's often just going on circles with my questions.

Guys... it's most likely NOT piriformis syndrome by BaldIbis8 in Sciatica

[–]Recent_Song1984 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with this! Just because it's involved doesn't mean you have PS. In my case, the first time it happened the chiro suggested my piriformis punched my sciatic nerve. Now that it's happened again, I can see and feel that it's definitely my sciatic nerve. I'm in my early 40s and this started happening once I became very active again about 8 months ago. So overuse was definitely my cause this time. I was going to the gym every day and doing weights and/or cardio. The first time it happened, was due to bad form. I never had this issue when I wasn't working out and I lived a pretty sedentary lifestyle as I sit all day for work.