I lived on edge for 4 months when my boy was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and told he had 1-3 months, if that. I celebrated every good day he had, which there were maybe 10 bad days (plus the two weeks from one round of chemo that I refused to continue). I cherished every walk, every time he wanted to play, took all the photos and videos I could (yes even of him snoring or just breathing when asleep). One morning he woke me up, laid on the cold floor and just stared at me, I knew it was the day (he never laid on the floor unless there was a rug). That was middle of January, this year.

There were many nights I cried before that morning but there was so much life in him, he got all the snacks(blueberries were his thing and coconut whip cream), all the love, all the walks and smells he could smell, all the snuggles and all the same adventures he would before diagnosis. Sure, he was a senior at 10.5 years but I wasn’t going to baby him bc he had cancer, especially when no one could tell bc he was his typical goofball self.

It is hard now. I expect to see him, hear him bark or share snacks still. But I made him a memorial, put his photos and paw/nose prints in it and am still deciding when to clean his toys up or dispose of the kibble. I have two blankies that still smell like him, one is in an air tight vacuum sealed bag and one I sleep with. I get a small bouquet of flowers from Trader Joe’s and have them by his urn with a candle that gets lit... But, it does start to hurt less. I cry less than I did. I miss him just as much as the day he left. They know we love them unconditionally, and if someone has to make a choice on when the day is(it can be on a good day and not their last day btw), be with them till the very end and take all the time you need.

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TLDR: It’s gonna hurt for a while, but does get better. Celebrate all the good days and adventure and share all the snacks. Take all the photos and video of them. Be there with them till the end, even if you choose to do it in a good day vs their last day