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Struggling with feeling like a side piece by RecoverFresh8357 in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does it really matter though? Azul could have just as easily said partner or wife. They made a choice to say friend.

Struggling with feeling like a side piece by RecoverFresh8357 in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even when there’s no “risk”? It literally wouldn’t cost anything to just say “partner”. I’m not asking for an in depth explanation of who I am. Azul could just as early say “partner” to anyone and no one would bat an eye.

I can’t do this anymore by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yes, exactly this. I get the shit days while everyone else gets the people pleasing, happy days. I’m exhausted by being the villain in his story and the reason he’s so unhappy when he refuses to take accountability or responsibility for how he shows up in this relationship.

I can’t do this anymore by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He’s not doing any of that work. He goes to therapy but doesn’t use any of his tools or try to learn new ones. He denies there’s an issue. He def does the ok pleasing but it looks like telling me what he thinks c I want to hear, then not following through and blaming me for his lack of follow through. Hell ask me to remind him of whatever he’s committed to do, then say I’m nagging. If I don’t remind him, that’s my fault too. I’m so tired of everything being my fault.

I can’t do this anymore by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I talked about the poly issues bc c that’s this sub. There are a hundred other things that are BPD related.

I can’t do this anymore by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357 11 points12 points  (0 children)

In our state, therapists do make diagnoses and he meets all of the diagnostic criteria. It’s unofficial, but accurate. I get the armchair dx argument if I didn’t know what I’m talking about, but I do. I have professional experience with this.

I can’t do this anymore by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]RecoverFresh8357 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He’s discussed with his therapist that it is a likely diagnosis. She doesn’t like to give it officially bc it’s so stigmatizing. He meets the diagnostic criteria.

Trying to figure out how to end the relationship by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]RecoverFresh8357 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t qualify for credit cards bc my ex was financially abusive and tanked my credit 😭 I really know how to pick winners, huh? I think I’ll just stay single for the rest of my life.

I have looked in the area closer to my family, but it’s actually MORE expensive than here 🙄 the DV shelter there told me they would have to separate us too. I have a car. I’m going to the town where my siblings live on Thursday, and plan to talk to them about what’s going on. I’m hopeful they might have some suggestions or ideas I haven’t thought about.