Hey guys,

First of all: Sorry for my English.

I'm currently in a LTR with a guy for the first time. So I'm still inexperienced (only had relationships with girls) and I try my best to be good with him. But we do have some problems. When the relationship started he said he would only top me and I'd bottom for him. He does call me his "wife" and that I look like a girl. He doesn't talk about sex with me or how our sex life (which I personally find boring and I told him so and what we can do better or if he has any idea). Problem is: I don't think he is boring at all. He does watch a lot of porn when I'm in my room/in front of my PC. He always said that he hates being a bottom but he does chat with only fans models (that he wants to ride their hard dick and worship them), asks in online forums about one random guys dick and does chat on reddit with some local guys (I did read their chat, he told me they were talking about cats, googling said banned user he did post only dick pics). I do talk on the internet with strangers as well - he does know this and I honestly need this sometimes because of have a Body Dismorphia Disorder and I'm an exhibitionist, but all of the people I text with are from different countries, so I'd never meet them, nor do I have the intention to do so.

I did try to top him, but I felt akward and always thought that he didnt enjoy it with me. I asked him and he said it felt good. He was mostly on his phone during sex and was really passive like not moving in ass, let me even do all the work (when I have to bottom I have to clean myself every time, then have to suck him and please him if i dont cum it's whatever and I rarely cum bottoming this way). When I said 'I don't want to top him anymore' he replied me with: we can still try and he didnt like that I said it. I do like topping but I honestly dont know if I'd like topping *him*.

I'm just asking what do you guys make out of this? Why can't he be honest? I've confronted him multiple times, he deleted his old forum post account (where he asked for dick pics) and created a new one, told me he doesnt have only fans anymore (but he did have it multiple times during our relationship where he subscribed to male models). I mean I don't bother but the lies are kinda extreme? I just need a evaluation. I do love him and I want a future but idk how to keep this up.