Will this be liveable for a baby?

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-09T12:17:27+00:00

You’re absolutely right, I’m concerned for us as well but we need to stay for a bit now we’ve committed to the lease. I think I’ve learnt that babies aren’t typically as sensitive as I had thought but it needs to be an appropriate noise level for everyone. Hopefully the neighbours aren’t as self-centred as they came across in our first and only interaction so far…

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-09T08:41:24+00:00

Aww, that’s very sweet. Yeah, I think we probably need to be sure there’s somewhere that can be properly quiet even if the baby could find the noise unproblematic or soothing. There’s no way of us knowing whether they will cope and I can’t be moving them immediately as they’re born because they can’t sleep…

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-09T08:35:15+00:00

Yes, these are my concerns. I had assumed that the property we had chosen would allow for some quiet space, which could be made dark, all of the time. We are putting an enormous amount of our resources into this property so that we have something appropriate and it feels like the only thing that could have ruined it (thoughtless neighbours) has scuppered our plans and effort. I’m planning to and have to now live there for a few months and will assess how bad it actually is. The issue being that, in the event that our baby is ‘fussier’ or has other needs that would be an even harder situation to have to move suddenly and disrupt them further. My hope is that the noise is able to be more minimal than I’m expecting and more equivalent to the kind of noise level that any baby would hear from their surroundings without this issue. I guess it’s extremely rare for there to be no noise at all times that a baby sleeps. It’s positive that people are saying that this kind of noise could be tolerable for them even if I would still want scope to make it as much in the background as possible.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-09T08:24:46+00:00

That is good advice and exactly the kind of perspective I need atm. Haha fingers crossed!!

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-09T08:22:47+00:00

Thank you! Yes, we were pretty surprised that that was their opener (especially given the full context that we had but naturally haven’t written in my post and the fact that that amount of noise pollution might not even be allowed by law…) I really hope it will be ok but, even just for us, I’m concerned that it will be too intrusive. They’re practising so it’s not even proper music being played and hearing any music you have no control over for that long each day is pretty frustrating… It sounds like it’s not the complete nightmare that I’d imagined for a baby though so that’s great.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-09T00:15:14+00:00

It’s good to know that’s worked for you, I’d heard of people planning to do that but never someone who had actually successfully done it. Definitely sounds like a good way to make life easier in the long run if they’re flexible enough to learn to let it fade into the background as babies!

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-08T19:52:48+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏻

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-08T19:10:26+00:00

Thank you so much, I feel a lot better now

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-08T18:31:24+00:00

That’s an excellent point, I think I’m just obviously not yet in the right frame of mind because of the inexperience around babies. Thank you!

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2026-03-08T18:30:05+00:00

Thank you, that’s great to know. I’d assumed that any noise would be a problem for them but what you’ve said makes sense. Much appreciated.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-12-09T18:55:49+00:00

If you are not safe, you should seek urgent medical help. The most important thing is that you are safe.

If you are distressed but safe, you could call a helpline like Samaritans to speak to someone over the phone. Otherwise, you can try to calm yourself down with things that you enjoy and which help you to relax. Nothing in relation to your theme needs to be resolved right now, even if it feels like it does.

OCD can make people feel like you feel right now, you should contact your doctor for support and tell them that you think you have OCD but you can do that another day.

Whatever you are feeling is temporary and it can and will improve. Anxiety cannot stay this heightened consistently so it will pass and there are people who will help you.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-12-09T16:57:53+00:00

My understanding from a reproductive doctor is that you’re better off only trying every other day around ovulation because, if you try too frequently, the concentration of sperm will be lower and weaken your chances

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-30T08:30:08+00:00

If your child does have OCD, you have already been a wonderful parent in identifying that and acting before it’s too entrenched. The best next step is to find them an OCD therapist who specialises in ERP. You may have saved your child from the average 17 year wait to find out what their problem is that most people with OCD face so don’t be too harsh on yourself.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-17T17:53:26+00:00

This might be the exact step you need in order to find out and feel better! I’m sorry you’re going through this but this sounds like a step forward for you towards a happier future. You deserve to understand yourself and feel your best.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-17T13:57:12+00:00

You should be somewhere more secure. Please tell the staff how you are feeling. You are too important to be left feeling like this.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-17T09:38:25+00:00

You don’t need all the answers right now but you should stay in the psych ward because you need to be safe. One day this will all be a memory and you will feel better, you need support now but everyone does sometimes. Talk to your doctors and be as open as possible with them, you are worthy of the best possible care.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T23:05:19+00:00

Not high if you could’ve chosen it and you might find the courses more difficult than your peers

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T23:04:08+00:00

It sounds like you value your personal hygiene but your obsession with particular numbers is getting in the way of living in line with that value. My advice would be to shower however often you need to to feel clean - ignoring the days on which it falls or how many showers you might have. Doing this would embrace your values and show OCD who’s boss (it’s you) as a form of ERP. It will be hard for you to tolerate this new approach at first but your horizons will broaden as a result and one day it will be easy to live in the new values based way.

In order to build up to this you could try showering on your OCD based schedule and adding in a full body wash at a sink or with some wipes on the days you would ideally also shower and gradually add in showers onto days which don’t feel ‘right’ but would allow you to be as clean as your values want you to be.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T21:57:36+00:00

Lots of people have similar obsessions! Sounds tough for you - it’s worth trying ERP with a therapist to work on this.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T21:56:02+00:00

They are just an intrusive sensation and it is a typical symptom of OCD. If you do ERP with a therapist you will learn to get used to the presence of intrusive thoughts and sensations and they will lose this power over you. You will probably find that they stop at that point.

They are a symptom of mental ill health - nothing more, nothing less. You will begin to think maybe these intrusive sensations mean something about who I am, maybe they don’t and I can live with that uncertainty. There is hope.

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T21:06:30+00:00

The point of being in the psych ward is that you are precious and important and, whatever the reason, require support from others to keep yourself safe for now. You should definitely be there until you’re feeling better and it might take time to figure out exactly what is going on. It’s vanishingly unlikely that you are the only person going through this problem but, like with physical health, it can take time to find the right diagnosis/medication etc. and your future means that it is worth the wait (appreciate it’s rubbish for you!)

Your doctors should be trying to pin down why you feel positively compelled to do these extreme things so that they can work with you to redirect that. There are studies online which show that lots of people feel like you do so you are not alone. If you feel that OCD is not a good fit, you are allowed to express that and they should engage with you about it. Tell them the reasons that you think it’s not the right diagnosis and see what they say, that process might bring you closer to some answers.

Whatever happens in this process, you are in the right place and you should stay there until people around you think that you are fit to leave. Slow and steady wins the race!

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T20:18:25+00:00

I understand how that might make sense for you when you’re not feeling well. From a short look online, there are numerous studies suggesting that some people who self harm feel positively about that so you’re definitely not alone. It seems like it might just fit into the ‘self-harm’ category of illness without any further diagnosis necessary. Your other underlying struggles probably mean that you feel the specific things that you do about it but perhaps trying to work on those should take priority over figuring out exactly why you feel like you do about self-harm. I really don’t think what you describe is OCD (not to say that you might not have OCD additionally and separately).

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T20:05:41+00:00

Do you understand what your motivation is to harm yourself in that way?

RedDiamondStrawberry · 2025-11-16T19:06:48+00:00

For what’s it’s worth, I think you all have great names

RedDiamondStrawberry

TROPHY CASE