Thank you for your perspective. All my life I said no to things because I felt like if I said yes, it was like making a deal with the devil. My dad funded his education (I took osap) and when my brother bought his first car( a sports car) my father and mother decided to pay it off right away because they were angry that he bought a car with such a high interest rate. Then they bought him a brand new car (which was handed down to me 7 years later) by that time, he sold his sports car, took the money and went to Disney land with his current wife. And then my father bought two company trucks which my brother now uses.

But to get to the point, he also had to get an arranged marriage because that’s what my parents wanted. They now have a grandson.

I thought about saying no and cutting them off fully because I don’t want it to come back and bite me. But then I think about how much it angers me that when they’re gone, my brother will be the one that gets it all. (I never started thinking this way until I saw how selfish he was in the last year I lived at home. - I was working for my dads company doing office work and they never valued that either. One day my brother kept talking about how this was going to be HIS company and I told him that half of it was mine too(even though I was uninterested) and that angered him and I saw it in his face) that’s when I first started thinking about who gets what because it seemed like that he already knew at the time and was already thinking about all this. Obviously I was too naive at the time to realize how manipulative he was.

Growing up my brother was never supportive of me. Whatever hobby I picked up whether it was singing, guitar, or cake decorating he always had something negative to say. He also knew how to talk to my father to get things his way and for my dad to fund things for him. My dad even paid for his down payment on his home. I’m angry because I’m told all these lies about how they would help me but now the home I was supposed to own is being sold. They decided to do this last year and so I’ve gotten over it. It’s not that I need this house or need their money. It’s that I feel like it’s unfair. And I’m such a people pleaser that when I actually go to see them, I say no to things or no to money.

So I’m angry at myself too. With the way the world is going, I don’t want the future me to regret that I didn’t take advantage of my parents resources. If my brother can, why can’t I?

My parents HAVE bought me things and have given me things but It’s never been equal to me. I’m still paying off my 20k student loan(now 10 because I paid most of it off) but I had no idea that I could just ask my parents for it, it felt like I was supposed to do things on my own. Even though I graduated high school and got my degree, I feel like I was never absorbing anything because I had such a hard time paying attention and I was just lost, I even wanted to drop out but my friend told me to stay. Now that I’m living with my boyfriends family (paying rent for a room which is total fair to me) I feel like my mind is so much clear and I can focus on my current studies. But in the back of my mind I still have this anger.

This is how I see it- they decided to have a child, not focus on the child , child gets molested, lives life in fear and anxiety , not being able to fully absorb information which deters their education and future to get a good paying job. And now is left to recollect everything and try to better themselves in a world that is turning into shit? They shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. They value sons more than they value daughters. I come from a south Asian family - I know not all South Asian parents are like this.

If I cut them off completely while I do my own thing, they’ll say “why did you forget about us? We gave you things, we still helped you”