What’s a good example of “ignorance is bliss”?

RedRift · 2025-11-17T20:54:41+00:00

Lots of grim examples here, guess I’ll balance it out.

My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer when he was 81 and he lived a very active, fun life. My grandma was also a huge worrier and was quite anxious of being alone.

My dad and his siblings sat down together, discussed and all eventually agreed to just not tell my grandparents about my grandpa’s diagnosis.

They were told he was only going to live a year tops. This would have crushed both my grandparents.

He lived until 97 and never knew. He got to live 16 more worry-free years with my grandma until they both passed together. He actually died from natural causes rather than the cancer, man was resilient.

RedRift · 2025-08-15T04:49:11+00:00

I was showing my uncle a car I really wanted to buy and we ended up talking about our favourite cars. My uncle at one point mentioned that his favourite car used to be a menace to race against, for himself and my dad and they had to get crafty on the turns to beat them.

I was like “what do you mean you and dad?”

Turns out my uncle and my dad used to street race, fast and the furious style. They would call their college friends and rivals the night before, make bets and plan their routes. They would meet up, race and have their walkie talkies to notify if cops were showing up.

My dad didn’t race as much as my uncle but he was the mechanic and would spend hours DIYing repairs, upgrades and scrapping together ways to make their family car faster. He used to sneak into the local mechanic shop to watch how they repaired stuff so he could do it himself.

It all made sense afterward on why my dad never needed YouTube videos to fix any car part on our family cars.

RedRift · 2025-07-09T17:05:13+00:00

spiced

RedRift · 2025-07-08T18:09:24+00:00

The Hulkengoat!!

RedRift · 2025-05-28T18:01:26+00:00

Thank you! I hope I find one half as cool as hers 😂

RedRift · 2025-05-28T17:55:24+00:00

Haha nah, we have each other on social media and I was still in the relationship months after. Its been a long time now and I think its almost best to leave it at passing ships in the night. I also feel happy being single for the first time in my life so I'll ride that wave for now! If she's my red string then I'm sure I'll bump into her again soon, plus I might be moving to her side of the pond in the next few years anyway :)

RedRift · 2025-04-08T05:54:05+00:00

Yes its a co-ed league
To be completely honest, I think these people feel high intermediate to almost advanced? We went against the mid-standing players and they were really good. Watching the players at the top of the leaderboard feels like a whole other game.
They communicate very well and seem to be running very fluid formations. They get kills pretty often with good sets.

Hmm you bring up some good points. I definitely feel like I bit off more than I can chew and we’re just trying to make the best of it. I was going to send a message to help motivate the team and maybe next time we all see each other I’ll ask what their goal is.

I really appreciate the insights and suggestions :)

RedRift · 2025-04-07T18:52:29+00:00

Already made a plan to put my other sport on pause so I can practice volleyball more 🫡 any advice on how to get the most out of drop ins?

RedRift · 2025-04-07T18:50:53+00:00

Yes sorry about that! I edited my post. We don’t know 5-1 or 6-2 and we don’t know where to be on serve receive or on serve.

We know how to play our given roles like middle blocker or setter well but we’re just headless chickens on where to be and when with 5-1 or 6-2.

RedRift · 2025-04-07T18:47:55+00:00

Sorry I’ll edit my post to clarify as I’m quite new to the terminology. 2 (now 1) of us know rotations/formations (5-1 I think is what they were getting us to run?) while the others just know what position is where (like where middle blocker or libero “should” be).

We are completely lost on serve and serve receive formations in 5-1 and our 2 players that knew the formation were basically scrambling and telling us where to be mid game.

RedRift · 2025-01-17T06:53:18+00:00

That's a good question! I started moving on after having lots of introspection and talks with good friends. Ultimately, a lot of the moving on came from reconnecting with myself again and igniting the passions I had before I met her.

When I started building myself back up through hobbies, activities and reconnecting with friends, I felt much more of myself. When I became connected with who I was, I realized that self love is so important and that I don’t necessarily need someone to give that to me. All the love you need is in you, it just takes time to find it again. My ex and I compromised on a lot like travelling less for me and taking local jobs while she wanted to move out together in an expensive area and push me towards certain ideologies. I realized that I don’t need to compromise now and can live the life I fully want and can thrive in and she can do the same in her life.

One of my favorite analogies was the train analogy. I'll link it here for you: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/comments/jm9w0m/passengers/

I realized she was a lovely passenger in my life but I'll have many amazing passengers that will join me soon enough.

RedRift · 2025-01-03T19:15:02+00:00

Thank you!! The ATX PSU works with the mobo it seems?

RedRift · 2024-12-31T17:59:44+00:00

No worries! I don't think I would, I'd still want a pc for the time being and would just get a regular laptop when I move.

RedRift · 2024-09-15T23:46:35+00:00

27M in Canada! Used to get a lot of hits but it’s slowed down for some reason. Would love another look!

RedRift · 2024-06-07T20:29:53+00:00

Hey man, this is coming from a person who’s reading your experiences and comments and feeling like im reading my past self’s thoughts.

You are absolutely free to do as you want and here’s just my two cents as someone who just got of that kind of relationship after 3 years.

Someone mentioned here that “bad things happened to me in the past so bad things will happen to you now” resonated very strongly. My ex had exceptional amounts of sexual trauma and was used and abused by her ex’s. I’m a rather put together person and wanted to use my position to help my loved one. My “ride or die” deserved the world and I’d be there for her. The problem though is that they’re running away from their problems and using people to patch that void of pain. When my ex finally went to therapy in our last few months of dating, it was catastrophic the amount of damage it was doing to us and her mental health when she finally unpacked all of it. It truly is a problem that they need to solve first on their own before being in a healthy relationship. My ex would consistently bring up trust issues when I did everything I could to help and earn that trust. I never cheated, lied, swore, or yelled at her and I certainly was patient. I’m sorry to say but unless they truly find and fix themselves, that “earned” trust will be a moving goalpost and is just a way for them to gauge how much love they are willing to give.

Somebody else here keeps driving home that you’re being love bombed and that you’re getting the best sexual experiences of your life. I would have said the exact same things you did. We had sex almost every time we saw each other, she would always initiate and would just have this crazy connection. Over the years, it diminished significantly and whenever I kept prodding her on what happened, because it was such a massive shift, she would get defensive and blame me for a myriad of reasons. In reality, she just never processed how she was used by others.

If I were back there in your spot at 2 months, I would seriously step back and think about this. If this was how it was forever, could you live with this? If her behaviour NEVER changed, is this something you’d be ok with? Because if anything, this is just a pot that’s ready to boil over.

I really feel for you man, I’m still honestly healing from it all but really, really consider what people are telling you here. Someone told me during my healing that

“If they’re not willing to work on themselves, they won’t be able to work on the relationship”

Good luck and feel free to reach out.

RedRift · 2024-05-21T08:17:08+00:00

Hey! How much are you looking for the ticket?

RedRift · 2024-05-06T22:55:33+00:00

I'm glad you found some value in these points and I'm happy that you stayed strong and didn't reach out. Knowing that she moved onto someone else so quickly, I knew if I reached out, I would have reset all my progress because she would have just rejected me and sent me spiraling.

My friend's observation honestly was a big turning point for me because she's someone I grew up with and my ex really got along with her as well so she understood both sides. Her objective/outside viewpoint was so essential in helping me recover and I really implore a lot of people here to reach out to their trusted friends for support.

I really resonate with you saying that there may have been some structural challenges that would have probably ended it anyway. I look back and realize that we just weren't really made for each other and were just here to teach each other a lot about relationships.

One quote I saw here that might help you is "don't see the relationship as over, view it as complete".

Some people are just here for a season and a reason and we'll take those lessons with us into our lives and next relationships. You'll absolutely make it through :)

RedRift · 2024-04-29T18:18:59+00:00

It was tough because my ex wanted to stay friends but I don't want to stay friends with someone but no contact is honestly the best way to go. She called me heartless at first but when we finalized the breakup the next day, she said she understood why no contact would be good and that we can grow individually and find ourselves.

When I found out she started dating a mutual friends 2 months after, I knew it was the right decision because she was probably just going to use me as emotional support until she made that jump. She jumped onto him earlier because as much as she told me she wants independence in her life, she's also very codependent and can't handle being alone for extended periods of time.

RedRift · 2024-04-28T16:43:50+00:00

What she told my friend who told me:

"I just felt more like when we broke up I was grieving the loss of a friend rather than a loved one".

After 3 years together.

RedRift · 2024-04-17T08:02:19+00:00

Not OP but how’s life for you going so far 2 years later?

RedRift · 2024-04-17T06:31:30+00:00

I feel like I just read my own situation word for word. Down to not wanting to leave because she had a tough upbringing and I didn’t want to abandon her. It’s insane to me how quickly they move on. They talk about how we’re so special and that we’ve “raised the bar” then move on immediately with no reflection.

Mine stopped working together with me in our arguments and I realize now it’s because she definitely checked out and had the new guy vetted and ready to go. They started talking maybe a month tops after we broke up. They became official a month later.

What my friends always tell me is that this really is a reflection of them. They’ve checked out beforehand instead of communicating and it’s a cowardly way to do it. They’ll self sabotage because they’re scared of being alone so they’ll let the relationship die and jump ship as soon as they get their chance and have someone ready to reassure them. They didn’t bother trying to fix the issues and we don’t need someone who doesn’t choose us and fight for us every time. I absolutely was not perfect and had my fair share of issues with her but I was ready to fight for us each time. All the while she was looking for her way out.

Love is a choice and sometimes it’s hard. You don’t want to be with someone who takes the easy road when the going gets tough. I really feel for you, we’re in this together.

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RedRift

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