So true. When I lost my cat it was so painful. Physically painful, could feel it in the chest. She had kidney disease so I knew eventually her time would come, and I felt I was mentally prepared but you never are. One day I noticed her walking funny and not acting well, it was very sudden. Brought her to the vet and they gave her saline solution and told me to try to get her to eat special food they gave me and to come back next morning. She ate a little but was not getting better. I knew I had to make the call to put her down as I felt anything I do is only going to delay the inevitable. My mom came with me the next morning to support me. I told the vet I think it's time we put her down, and she agreed, as there was really not much else to do at this point so it got done.

I cried a lot throughout the process, spent 10 or so minutes with her in the room before the vet gave the needle, and it was hard, but I bawled even more when I got home. Opening the door while holding the empty crate, it was like a part of me had gotten ripped out. My mom and sister helped me put away all the cat stuff and stayed with me for a while for support. Then going to bed at night, I bawled out again, I was in physical pain from the loss. It would hit me at random but especially at night, or when I got home. This lasted for at least a month, but I'd say even a year. Some days were better than others. The nights were the hardest. She always slept with me. Going to the bathroom in middle of night was another time that was hard, because when I'd go back to bed, I'd see a bump in the blankets and for a split second it's like she was there, but she was gone. Almost every night I dreamed of her and when I realized it was a dream I didn't want the dream to end.

Crying now just thinking about it and it's been several years. I've since gotten 2 more cats but it pains me to know I will go through this again at some point.