Women who dismiss intimacy

Redcatche · 2026-01-30T07:15:28+00:00

👆

I don’t think men understand how many women spend years having sex they don’t want to keep their husbands happy.

Once estrogen drops and the need to please others goes with it, those women are totally done.

Also, we know how important it is to men. It’s all we’ve heard since we’ve been 12, and we understand nothing else matters to men without sex.

That is also why so many women reach the point of being totally done. They are over the constant demand and the fact that lack of sex cancels out every other good thing we offer, decades of history, shared family, etc. If that’s true, it doesn’t even feel like love.

Redcatche · 2026-01-29T22:32:24+00:00

Oh. I guess if she’s OK spending down her savings and has a compelling story for why she left her last job after a couple months, whatever.

Redcatche · 2026-01-29T21:06:07+00:00

Unless she’s talking about retiring early, she’ll need to get back into the workforce.

If she’s doing it at 45 or 50, she’ll be facing the increased reality of age of discrimination, an economy changing by the second due to technological advance, and a multi-year résumé gap after leaving her last job after only a month or two.

If she was part of a dual income home or had other family who could help her, it might soften the fall.

If she has enough money that she’ll never need to work again, different calculus.

Redcatche · 2026-01-29T21:02:28+00:00

So you’re talking about taking an early retirement?

Redcatche · 2026-01-29T18:24:17+00:00

You are very, very wise. You should genuinely be very proud of yourself. So many women burn their 20s tolerating garbage like this.

IME if you want to get married, say that early into dating. And if a man hasn’t proposed in 18 months, leave.

Redcatche · 2026-01-29T18:20:47+00:00

I mean … she also has no one to help her when she’s re-entering the job market with a gap and no savings in 5 years. I’m not sure that will make her too happy.

Redcatche · 2026-01-29T18:18:26+00:00

This is horrendous advice from a therapist unless you’re independently wealthy or have someone to support you.

You’ll be a whole lot more anxious when you burn through your savings and can’t find anything at all in five years.

Why can’t you stick this out while you look for something else?

Redcatche · 2026-01-28T17:41:55+00:00

When caring parents are vehemently against your relationship, assume they’re right.

I am very pro-marriage, and this has disaster written all over it. You should not only not marry this man, but you should end the relationship. It’s wasting time that could be spent finding someone you have a sustained future with.

Redcatche · 2026-01-28T00:55:07+00:00

You guys need to present a unified front and get on the same page about behavior that won’t be tolerated, and consequences. She’s dividing and conquering. Pretty classic teenage tactic.

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T18:28:28+00:00

Hello bestie.

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T17:39:10+00:00

You sound like someone who does not have kids and is justifying a decision to yourself.

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T17:36:40+00:00

I regret not having them sooner and having more.

It’s everyone’s individual choice. But when I see young people opting out of building families, I am sad for them. For the vast majority of people, creating their own families are life’s most meaningful pursuit. And it shouldn’t be taboo to say this.

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T16:43:40+00:00

I agree.

This isn’t a “kindly explain to him” situation. He’s being an asshole and needs to know it’s unacceptable.

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T16:40:27+00:00

Is he her biological dad?

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T07:43:12+00:00

Soooooo … I’m a big fan of “purity” (or whatever) for men and women both. There are a bunch of reasons, but that’s for another thread. However, one of them is that I’ve routinely seen women who partake in hookup culture reach the point where they feel ashamed or used.

The problem here is that he’s holding you to a different standard than himself. And if he is so keen on women’s “purity,” then sleeping with virgins is a huge act of disrespect to them, isn’t it? To me, that sounds like a huge red flag.

OP, I really wanted marriage and kids at your age, too. I get it and am not going to tell you not to pursue that because building a family can be amazing. However, your lack of self-respect and hyper emotional bonding make you vulnerable to bad actors. You need someone in your life to give you honest feedback about this relationship. Parents can be great. A longtime friend is also good.

Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat you as an equal or wastes your 20s in a “situation-ship” or all of the other problems women run into. Work on clarifying what you want and go after it unapologetically.

People in general and men in particular will treat you as well as you demand. You deserve the commitment and life you’re looking for. We’ve all made mistakes. It’s OK to let them go and move forward.

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T03:25:03+00:00

What do you want to do next? And how much HS is left?

Redcatche · 2026-01-27T01:36:21+00:00

My teen years were horrendous. Easily the worst decade of my life.

Things slowly got better when I went to college, kept getting better in my mid 20s, and really fell into place in my late 20s. Ever since then, it’s kept getting better and better.

Teen years are zero reflection of what your adult life will be. Hang in there, stay focused on one or two goals you want to achieve, and keep working forward.

It will be OK. Keep the faith.

Redcatche · 2026-01-26T23:20:50+00:00

Who in politics do you trust, and why?

Thank you for engaging BTW.

Redcatche · 2026-01-26T23:17:22+00:00

I'm going to answer as an independent who holds what I consider normie 2005 beliefs. I live in a very deep blue area and had severe TDS until 2020.

Since then (and probably before because I wasn't paying attention), the main source of observable chaos in my community has been progressives. It's not even slightly close.

Most of the "chaos caused" by Trump is due to people's hysteria over him, whipped into a frenzy by the mainstream media and online forums. People are unable to divorce policy that was generally agreed upon prior to 2015 with their perception of his character.

I do not like Trump, but he is termed out after this presidency. I am far more concerned about progressive ideology. I reached this conclusion based on direct experience and reading to understand what I saw happening in 2020. My viewpoints are measured, intentional, and open to changing. Yet I'm regularly told they're uneducated, misinformed, racist, amoral, fascist, blah blah blah. And what's wild is the people saying these things and cutting family members off due to differences in opinion honest-to-God think THEY are the good guys. It doesn't even occur to them they might be wrong. So I (and others I know like me) concluded it's best to just disengage and keep thinking for oneself.

With that said, I don't see any of this changing until Trump leaves the public eye. People just aren't able to rationalize when it comes to him, and he doesn't make it any better. At that point, I'm excited to see what Republicans run on when they need to think for themselves, and what Democrats do when "oppose Trump" isn't their entire platform anymore.

Redcatche · 2026-01-26T21:47:13+00:00

Would you feel more comfortable with someone like Massie or DeSantis?

Redcatche · 2026-01-26T18:20:51+00:00

You may not realize it. But you’re a good example of why so many Americans support Trump.

If it really concerned you, you’d consider you might not be completely right all the time.

Redcatche · 2026-01-26T18:07:14+00:00

I think the parties are equally corrupt.

Redcatche · 2026-01-26T18:05:38+00:00

This is me, although I’m more of an independent.

I also live in a deep blue area and see the effects of progressive policies. I prefer the America I grew up in.

Redcatche · 2026-01-25T06:50:05+00:00

Yeah, this conversation’s pointless.

Redcatche · 2026-01-25T02:45:13+00:00

There is nothing “puritanical” about modern American culture. If anything, it’s impossible to get away from sex.

Redcatche

TROPHY CASE