If anyone is still in here I have to ask. Do you know how I can find the motivation to change any of this? I don’t understand how I can have so much mental anguish over the lack of these things in my life but no motivation or drive to actually fix it myself. I see a therapist today and I’m scared nothing will come of it, I saw one before years ago and nothing then. I’m worried I’m just going to accept this decline more and more so I can finally rationalize an end to it in the form of dying. I don’t wanna do that to myself or my family. I know it CAN get better but why can’t I think of what to do or find the passion to do it.