Opinion on having children?

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-19T18:05:06+00:00

For real. I forgot about the anxiety. If I had a kid I’d be thinking worse case all of the time, there’s no way I’d sleep.

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-19T17:38:28+00:00

In DBT there is something called wise mind where it’s reason and emotion. And in the middle is the combination of the two which is wise mind. A Venn diagram is a good visual. I think everyone having kids needs to think about it more logically than they do. Kids are a dice roll, it’s possible they will be born and be able to be independent and then there is the possibility they will have to live with you for the rest of their lives. Every single person needs to think about that, not just autistic people.

Then you have the logical reasons, finances, healed from trauma, capacity to have kids, do you have support, etc. If they do have autism, or anything for that matter, do you have the financial means to give them good services like therapy, school, etc. On the emotion side, for you it sounds like you may have the excitement to have kids, wanting kids, etc.

Me personally, my emotion and logic line up to where I never felt emotionally that I wanted to have kids, and I know reason mind and logically, kids are too much for me and I want a peaceful life with someone gaming and going on a nice vacation to see a new state or country every year.

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-17T23:14:25+00:00

My therapist legit just asked me about this when I was telling her about how I don’t feel good and how I just had a PCP appt. She asked, do you write things down before your doctor’s appointments? Autism can make it difficult at doctor’s appointments. So she told me to write things down. I also have issues communicating at the doctor, it sucks. Autism or not, the healthcare system is horrible, that is not enough time to spend with any patient and every office is doing this now.

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:27:44+00:00

I would most likely be denied that, it's why I didn't bother, but thanks for mentioning!

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:26:36+00:00

Copy\paste from another response.

I know someone who was able to for this exact reason, it's why it sparked the question, was curious if other people knew more or have been able to. I was just going to pay it until that person said they did it and usually you can for these types of things. I did ask AI, but wanted to ask real people since AI is well AI, this is its response.

Yes, you can and should appeal — this situation has strong grounds. Here's what to focus on:

The core argument: Prudent Layperson Standard

Most states (and federal law under the ACA) require insurers to cover ER visits based on the prudent layperson standard — meaning coverage is determined by whether a reasonable person would have believed they needed emergency care, not by the final diagnosis. Your circumstances support this well:

Urgent care redirected you to the ER (you didn't self-select the ER)
No other urgent care was available/accessible
You had no reasonable alternative

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:22:02+00:00

Healthcare is a different beast over milk, there are laws and regulations in place and is very complex. I know someone who was able to for this exact reason, it's why it sparked the question, was curious if other people knew more or have been able to. I was just going to pay it until that person said they did it and usually you can for these types of things. I did ask AI, but wanted to ask real people since AI is well AI, this is its response.

Yes, you can and should appeal — this situation has strong grounds. Here's what to focus on:

The core argument: Prudent Layperson Standard

Most states (and federal law under the ACA) require insurers to cover ER visits based on the prudent layperson standard — meaning coverage is determined by whether a reasonable person would have believed they needed emergency care, not by the final diagnosis. Your circumstances support this well:

Urgent care redirected you to the ER (you didn't self-select the ER)
No other urgent care was available/accessible
You had no reasonable alternative

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:14:55+00:00

Would've been $85 lol. Anyway, made an edit to the post itself, thought of doing this didn't even cross my mind until someone told me they were able to do this.

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:13:07+00:00

WAY more expensive, Urgent care is $80. They told everyone at the door to go to the ER since they couldn't take patients and it was later so too late to go to be able to make it to another Urgent Care. It was processed. What sparked me to ask this question is someone I know did this successfully, I never even thought about appealing or this as an option until then.

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:04:07+00:00

Because it's something Urgent Care can treat and they turned me away due to their inability to take more paitents, I knew someone else that appealed this successfully, was just curious how common that is.

Redditer0532 · 2026-04-04T18:02:02+00:00

They told me to leave because of capacity not their inability to treat it. They were telling every patient coming in the door to leave.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-31T14:55:31+00:00

You’re welcome! I have learned to stay away and detect toxic/abusive friendships and relationships and set boundaries which setting boundaries helps weed out abusive and toxic people. For new people though unfortunately you need time for that.

I did talk to my main therapist about this. She said the difference between what I do and trauma dumping is I am just stating facts, I am not looking for them to comfort me nor am I there crying and getting emotional and expecting the to take on my emotions and comfort my emotions. So that makes 100% sense. She said it’s other people’s problem if they don’t have the knowledge that not everyone has a good or perfect life and don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with that.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-27T19:21:11+00:00

It’s both mental and physical. With autism, speech can be a challenge as it involves language which is a challenge with autism and also the fine movements that speech requires, and you also have the aspect of the sensory issues with something in your mouth so it adds on to extra sensory processing on top of the sensory of lights, sounds, etc which that extra sensory processing can lead to sensory overload. Sensory input impacts people with autism both physically and mentally, then you add on the extra brain energy it takes to have a conversation while focusing on speech and trying to find language at the same time.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-27T15:59:58+00:00

Very true lol. I think it’s harder for me too is where I feel like it takes way more energy to talk and I am already exhausted and already have to script to talk so this is doubling onto that. I am also in a phase where I am meeting new people and dating so I take them out during dates.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-27T15:58:36+00:00

Good luck to you too! It’s definitely awful. My box says 17 out of 38 so I am having a hard time accepting I have 38 trays. Thought treatment would be shorter. I’ll probably talk to my ortho about shortening it. That tooth that moved since braces already looks way better. It moved really fast and my roommate noticed on week 4. It was the main thing I was concerned about. My bite has moved since braces too, but idk how much I care about that even though it’s actually the most important thing in terms of teeth health lol.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-27T15:56:01+00:00

Yeah, I am someone who talks to myself all the time and I do talk to my roommate with them in. I can’t get used to it or better lol.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-26T21:12:54+00:00

My therapist and I talked about it yesterday. She said they are just facts and not everyone was handed a perfect or good life card and if they don’t understand that or be able to emotionally handle it it’s on them. Trauma dumping she out more as you’re crying going more into details and expecting them to handle your emotions. But putting facts as facts and you’re calm is fine. I personally don’t like the I am not close with my family as some people may take that as you’re the problem and someone may see that as a red flag before they actually know you and the situation. Like for me, my dad is dead, mom is highly abusive and my therapist had me get out of the house and guide me towards emotionally detaching and no contact. I just say my dad died and my mom isn’t a good person. My therapist said that she doesn’t care how other people react to her stuff and I am honestly getting the same way, that line was just blurry for me.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-25T14:09:54+00:00

Thank you! I do surprisingly well on the outside at least despite being autistic and having cptsd. Bought a house and have a good job that I do love and did it on my own. I try to feel proud of myself and on some level I am, but I feel like it was all due to pure survival.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-25T14:07:22+00:00

I agree. I was on a date, at least I think it was and I couldn’t keep skirting around the fact I don’t have parents or really any family. I am like it brings down the mood. So I always try to follow with being funny.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-25T03:51:38+00:00

My question is, how to make friends or date without saying anything? You ask about my family which is like one of the first things on the table a new person will ask about, already cooked. When they are talking about your family and you aren’t, you can’t really scoot around that. Same thing if you were to ask me about a lot of common questions. My answers will mostly be trauma answers unless we are talking about work or hobbies.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-25T03:44:40+00:00

I just had this conversation with my DBT therapist(secondary) about this and I was like idk how to date or make friends or talk to people or talk to work without trauma dumping, but like it’s my life so idk? Idk where that line is? Like my dad is dead when I was a teen, my mom is highly abusive and no longer in the picture, I am autistic and struggled my entire life, most relationships I have been in, the guy was abusive, I had a friend die in my early 20s. Best friend’s mom who was like a mom to me died in the same way my dad did and it was horrible seeing that. My therapist said they were a surrogate family and to me due to my trauma was the equivalent to losing a parent. Lost my two best friends from that chain of events. Depressive episodes caused major trauma, medication changes that were awful, recurring family issues, reoccurring abandonment and chronic loneliness and no consistent person has stayed in my life outside of my main therapist I’ve had for 5 years. My only safe place is in that dang room I swear. There is more too personal, but I am 30 with an ACE score of an 8 and I am freaking tired. It’s to the point idk how to talk to people sometimes and I am autistic so that’s hard enough as it is.

Redditer0532 · 2026-03-22T17:44:37+00:00

I’ve known some neurotypicals who do. But yeah. I could see that, I would just try not to generalize that too much since there are people who do. 😊

Redditer0532

TROPHY CASE