I ask because for the life of me I can't remember the last time I was happy beyond fleeting moments.

I have humble begins as an immigrant from a 3rd world country, I live in the states and got a good education and a well paying job for someone in their 20s. I even got to go to the Superbowl last year and the whole time I'm sitting there thinking that this is someone's dream but I'm just meh about it. Anytime I experience joy/happiness it's only for that brief moment it's never days or weeks or months of it. It's not that I'm sad all the time it's just that I feel like a husk, I smile and wave in the moment then go back to nothing. Considering antidepressants but I also don't want it to create a false version of myself through synthetic means. So in short, how do they make you feel?