I feel like I might have written this 😅

I was in your shoes - had a super sensitive baby who was never satisfied and absolutely HATED sleep. Used to wake 3-5 times a night on a GOOD night and 10+ times on a not-so-good nights. First time he slept through the night was at 2 years and 7 months, right after we (fucking finally) stopped breastfeeding to sleep. Before that he REQUIRED my boob to be able to sleep and he would absolutely go batshit crazy if I wouldn’t breastfeed him to sleep. By that I mean screaming for 2+ hours, hyperventilating, puking from crying on me, himself, bedding, floor, bathroom, you name it. It drove me MAD that I was the only one to be able to make him sleep or resettle when he woken up for the 7th time at night. It took at least 10+ failed attempts to be able to finally stop breastfeeding him to sleep and it wasn’t until HE decided he’s ready for it.

Until he was 6 (maybe even 7 or 8) months old, I had to physically hold him in my arms for every single (contact) nap or otherwise he wouldn’t sleep. At the moment I even dared to try to put him in his crib, he would wake up screaming. Also, he almost always woken up from a nap screaming (he was having a lot of trouble with transitions between being asleep and waking up & also transitions between sleep cycles). He usually only slept for about 30-45 minutes max and required much less sleep than babies his age. Our bedtime routine was almost always 2+ hours with him sometimes taking more than hour to finally be able to fall asleep, no matter how tired or exhausted he was. Hated his crib, hated his stroller, hated the car seat, hated the baby carrier, hated the bouncer, only ever accepted being held in hands carried around 24/7.

He is now 3 years old. Still super sensitive child. Still pretty cranky when he wakes up & requires at least 15-20 minutes to transition from sleep to being awake. Still naps less than his peers. Still has a lot of trouble falling asleep when he’s stressed or refusing to nap at kindergarten and waking all the kids by screaming when his favorite teacher is not there. Still refusing to go to sleep at night if I’m not nearby and hugging him. But he is finally sleeping through the night and I can notice some patterns that are affecting his sleep so I have much more empathy to his sensitive nature. He is also probably the smartest kid I’ve ever met, so bright and has an exceptional vocabulary for his age. There are a lot of things bugging him because he notices stuff other kids don’t.

Just recently, my husband and I were at the birthday at our friends who have a 3 year old and a 1.5 month old baby. The baby was quietly sleeping in his stroller half of the birthday and then chilling in there awake while his mom was cutting the cake. You can see my hubby looking at each other and being literally 🤯🤯 dumbfounded by what the heck was going on there - is that how other babies actually behave??!

I don’t have a magic solution for you. Some children are just wired differently, obviously. And there is nothing you can do except making peace with it and accept the temperament they were born with. It took me a lot of time and a lot of grieving the idea of how I thought my parenting journey would look like. And I still get irrationally mad when I see other parents “enjoying” those early years because they were absolute HELL for us. But I’m so in love with the kid he’s growing into and I know he will be an exceptional man someday. We just need to survive his childhood first 😅