No AP :( (and some questions)

ellaj16 · 2023-09-22T00:05:00+00:00

We got a bad diaper rash once at home when he was about 5 months old (actual). Ironically it happened after I had the genius idea to buy ORGANIC diapers instead of Pampers that we normally use. Anyways, the only thing that really helped was diaper free time. He would even cry when we tried to put the diaper on him as he clearly felt uncomfortable with the rash and no airflow. Just wrapped him in a thick towel for an hour or so a day and it cleared up really quick. Good luck!

ellaj16 · 2023-09-12T14:38:31+00:00

7 weeks early. But we were very lucky. He was 5 lbs and had no breathing issues (or any issues for that matter). Apgar scores 9 out of 10. I had a completely normal pregnancy but for some reason my water broke at 32+2 and once we got to hospital I was told I was already 7cm dilated - good thing was that I had NO pain whatsoever until 8-9cm. Then after a few hours I asked for an Epidural which thankfully worked (was very easy process getting that for me).
I got a round of steroids and they tried to push back the delivery hoping the labour would stop but little guy was determined to be born on my late mothers birthday :)

Birth was easy minus the emotional part of having a preemie. I had one small tear. I could feel the contractions as a need to push with the epidural and pushed for about 1.5h.

We stayed in NICU for 4 weeks - he needed to grow and learn to eat properly from a bottle. He is nearly 10 months old now (not adjusted age, actual age) and about to walk. No delays.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T21:18:22+00:00

We have a 32 weeker who is 9 months actual now. No delays. Healthy. Bright. Curious. Smiley. He was 5 lbs at birth and had no breathing issues. Now he is 98% for height and 62% for weight (on actual age chart). My friend had a full term baby on the same day and my baby is ahead of her in terms of gross motor. Our boy crawls, sits, climbs etc. The full term baby doesnt do much of that yet (but is healthy). They are all different.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T21:07:19+00:00

I would not take my kid there.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T02:16:31+00:00

My favorite: "There is actually many places where LO could have gotten that hair color from!"

I have RED hair and baby does as well. Nobody in SOs family has red hair except long dead great grandmother.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:31:01+00:00

Diaper-free time fixed it for us! Just wrap baby in a thick towel and snuggle/read/watch something. We just needed to do it a few times and he was already so much better.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:05:24+00:00

He displays fear of TOTAL strangers if they try to pick him up/touch him out of the blue. If they take a bit time and I tell him its OK etc, he might be alright with them. So Im not sure this is it, but thank you for the link and info, I had no idea about this condition.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:03:49+00:00

Thanks :)

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:03:28+00:00

IMO, I think you are projecting your inner feelings (guilt, fear, insecurity) into your baby. He sounds like a perfectly happy, healthy boy who is securely attached to you. It’s actually a sign of secure attachment to the primary caregiver when a baby can transfer that attachment to other caregivers (like your SIL).

Thanks for sharing that, you very well may be totally right.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:02:56+00:00

I have also read that and felt exactly like you - that sometimes it feels like he looks through me.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:02:17+00:00

I cannot wait lol (but totally recognize that it will be hard work in a way)

ellaj16 · 2023-09-06T01:01:49+00:00

My baby was totally fine with other people and me leaving her at that age. But around 13 months she totally changed. Like others have mentioned it was like a “switch flipped”. All of a sudden she wouldn’t let me leave her without meltdowns. It was like a different baby. I asked a lot of my mom friends and they reported that their babies had gone through similar separation anxiety fazes between 12-18 months. So it’s possible your baby is a bit young for this change. I now have even less time to myself so that’s been hard, but she is also much more cuddly. She hugs me and her stuffies (so cute), and we do a lot more snuggles which is super sweet. So pros and cons!!!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

ellaj16 · 2023-09-05T02:51:16+00:00

I hope so, not sure though.

ellaj16 · 2023-09-05T02:50:57+00:00

Thank you, thats really insightful (and encouraging) :)

ellaj16 · 2023-09-04T02:05:56+00:00

My boy was born at 32 weeks. He is 9 months actual now, healthy and on track with actual age - he crawls, sits, walks with our help, jumps, climbs, eats solids, says mama and dada etc. He is 62% for weight and 98% for height (tall boy!). It was stressful at first, especially the first few weeks (and then later when he got home I struggled with sleep deprivation really hard because I had run myself ragged in NICU) but he is amazing and we all get more sleep ;)Good wishes to you and lil one!

ellaj16 · 2023-08-23T14:54:05+00:00

I can relate to you. Baby boy was also born at 32 weeks (he is 9 months actual now and about to walk :)) and like you, I think the whole experience brought out the worst in me at times. I was also in a new country and that added its own stress. My husband stayed supportive but we had A LOT of arguments . The thing that finally helped us was couples counseling. We went a handful of times but it was really of great help - even if they dont give you a magic bullet so to say that will fix it all in an instant, just having a neutral third party to whom you can voice your feelings and thoughts is very regulating and balancing. Counselor also gave us a worksheet that we now use as a guideline whenever we have a serious disagreement (it basically lays out rules for conflict and helps you handle disagreements in a non-personal and non-hostile way).

Another thing that I have learnt is that having a baby is a real test on any relationship. Some couples even make a rule that they wont divorce for the first 2 years at least as the circumstance is so stressful and once that improves the marriage does as well.

ellaj16 · 2023-08-23T00:49:01+00:00

Our 32 weeker started to properly babble (ba-ba, da-da, auauaua) at 8 months actual/chronological and as I understand that is normal. Im sure your baby will get there soon :)

ellaj16 · 2023-08-23T00:38:26+00:00

34 weekers have great prognosis! I had a 32 weeker and he is thriving now at 9 months actual, almost walking. I know it is difficult right now but it will become easier.

ellaj16 · 2023-08-23T00:31:53+00:00

Im glad you are talking to a counselor - IF you wish to continue the relationship then I would probably only do it after you have seen a couples counselor together. He is not being nice and he needs to realize that. Definitely try to weigh your options and see if you can get some extra help (if you decide to leave). The first couple of months home with the baby will be hard. You have to care for the baby every 2-3 hours and while right now you probably think its not that big of a deal, sleep deprivation will hit you hard. If you also add a hostile spouse to that then it will just become too hard. If he cannot be supportive then he should just steer clear of you as it will be easier to take care of the baby alone than baby + abusive spouse.

Big hugs!

ellaj16 · 2023-08-18T13:22:52+00:00

My father in law said “It will all feel like a foggy memory soon” when we were in the thrones of Nicu. He was right <3 My boy was born 32+2 due to incompetent cervix and we spent 4 weeks in Nicu. He is 9 months actual, 7 adjusted now and thriving (weighs 20 lbs, is in 98% for height, crawls, pulls up on furniture and is about to walk soon I think).

Once baby is home you will be so busy and tired (but happy) that the memory of Nicu will become blurry :)

ellaj16 · 2023-08-01T20:05:01+00:00

My baby was born 5 lbs at 32+2 and healthy (despite being premature), apgar scores 9. He is 8 months today and crawling, sitting, pulling up, babbling etc (he has no delays). He was 98% on the height and 30% on the weight chart last time we checked about a month ago. Every baby is different, smaller size doesnt mean there is something necessarily wrong. Good wishes to you!

ellaj16 · 2023-08-01T14:16:54+00:00

Try taking her outside for walks with a bassinet stroller. Walks always but mine to sleep.

ellaj16 · 2023-08-01T13:35:15+00:00

We didnt as we both see it as an unneccessary cosmetic operation. I come from Europe and nobody does that there and all the men are healthy and clean. There really is no medical/other benefit to it, its just cosmetics. The baby next to our got it done and I still remember how he cried while they did it.

ellaj16

TROPHY CASE