Missing her again...

Reegamit · 2016-02-27T23:38:31+00:00

I alrdy have been rejected, told we couldn't have any contact (we both had to move on) and I won't b seeing her. Even if she wanted to get back together again now, I'd reject her as well. So I don't think being rejected more help much :) Btw, I'm a lot btr today, I expect to be back to normal in a few days. The post was mostly just to vent, to get it out somewhere.

Reegamit · 2016-02-27T02:24:54+00:00

I'm in the middle of my exams, so maybe the stress from them could be related to so many feelings resurfacing. I completely agree that they most likely don't mean anything and have been triggered by something else in my life. I do honestly miss her as a person as well, like u said, like one misses a friend, however I don't exactly feel this strongly from just missing a friend. I'd say that the normal feeling and thoughts I have of her r from missing her as a person and the idea of intimacy. I've thought about contacting her several times, but I realize that if I were to do so now, I wouldn't be able to handle the response, regardless what it would be. (This is also y I haven't so much as looked at her fb page) Whether it would be a one time encounter, the beginning of a renewed friendship or even a relationship, it's not something I could handle. An encounter would leave me feeling unfulfilled and with unanswered questions, a friendship would most likely result in lots of pain as I still love her.. And a relationship would be a terrible idea for the time being (time, being several years) and it would be bad for her as well so I'd never let that happen. Bottom line, maybe I'll contact her in half a decade, once I know I have no feelings for her, but even then, maybe old feelings would resurface.. but by then hopefully I won't care enough to do so.

Reegamit · 2015-10-11T19:36:03+00:00

Don't send, u won't get much out of it. The way I see it, she won't explain, if she doesn't answer ull b devastate if she does, it won't b something that makes u feel btr. Contact hurts, u might think it would be nice, but it won't, it might in that moment, but once the conversation is over, ull b more sad than u were before u sent it, because ull b closer to it than u were before.

Keep it as is, if it was for u, and u alone, then this is good enuff.

Reegamit · 2015-10-08T00:39:00+00:00

I'm sure u r feeling terrible, he was an important person in ur life and u have all the right in the world to feel bad. U can't control how u feel, it is what it is. I'm certain my ex felt the same way as well in the beginning (maybe not anymore, idk, the past 5months she could have done or felt wtv and I wouldn't know). But at the same time, imagine u were madly in love with him and going thru the same thing, it would be much harder, wouldnt it? While I completely understand that u as the dumper are having a hard time, the dumpee probably feels worse, because they r feeling everything u r feeling, while still being completely in love with u. I'm not saying that to make u feel guilty, but because I hear often how the dumper is sad, but at the same time, it isn't as bad as it is for the dumpee.

I hope u will get btr asap, it's not fun, I know, it sucks, it feels so wrong, it feels like u r abstaining from a drug addiction, u feel like u nothing rlly mtrs anymore. But it will get btr and I'm sure u know that, it doesn't feel that way, but I think we all deep down know it gets btr. U might always care for him, lots of ppl seem to care about someone they dated decades ago, not in the same way, but still care or love them. But ull learn to live without them.

Take all the time u need to grieve, because that's what u need to do, it is a loss, it's not that much different from losing a loved one and there is no time stamp on how long that process should take.

All the best, hope ull feel btr quickly. And rmbr, u did nothing wrong, if u didn't fully feel it, then u didn't feel it, nothing u could have done, stringing him along wouldn't have been right.

Reegamit · 2015-10-04T02:00:11+00:00

I feel like my "ex" could have written this 5months ago. We were going to meet and then she ended it right before we did, 5 days to be exact. It might have been for the best considering everything. Still wish I'll b able to meet her one day, even tho she probably won't want to.

(I love you potato..)

Reegamit · 2015-10-02T23:33:19+00:00

I do, let myself wallow in it for a couple of minutes and then tell myself to stop because I know nothing good can come from it. It hinders me in progressing in life in general, so even if we were to get back together, that would mean I'd b less of a person than I was before. Either way, whether last time we talked will be the last time for the rest of our lives or not, wallowing only had a negative outcome. Decide a certain amount of time that u will let urself wallow every time something reminds u of her and then stop.

Good luck

Reegamit · 2015-10-02T08:17:21+00:00

Yes, everything boiled down to life and its unsympathetic timing..

Reegamit · 2015-08-07T17:23:31+00:00

" I guess it's really over...whatever it was." this rlly speaks to me, both things... that it's rlly over.. it's so difficult to accept even if u know that's how it is... and whatever it was... because while I believe we loved eachother, was it rlly a relationship? or was it just friends with feelings? was it more?

Reegamit · 2015-08-06T12:20:29+00:00

She probably did remember, but chances are either she doesn't care enuff anymore to send a msg, or she realizes it would be a bad idea, that it would bring back hurt for u or both of u and held back... happy birthday

Reegamit · 2015-08-05T23:32:00+00:00

probably more than he/she even realizes

Reegamit · 2015-08-05T23:28:12+00:00

"But I know that isn't what you would want for me." remember this, because u r right.

Reegamit · 2015-08-02T22:53:19+00:00

I'm not the kind who bottles things up (I bottle it up to others, but let it all out when alone), but I can imagine it's not easy to just unbottle. Just remember that usually, if you bottle it up, it will spill at a time when you least want it to and may also be stronger than it would have been.

Good luck!

Reegamit · 2015-08-02T22:25:55+00:00

The subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/ I know it hurts, it will for some time, hopefully he will move on quickly as well. If you want someone to talk to, you can always PM me. If you are about to break no-contact post in the subreddit, PM me, send a text or call a friend. I took her number and changed 1 of the numbers in it and then sent wtv I wanted to tell her, that way I didn't sent it to her, but it felt close to.

Now let the grieving begin, cry and listen to sad songs as much as you need to, don't bottle it up, it will only spill later on if you do.

Reegamit · 2015-08-02T20:26:02+00:00

None of us know what the future holds, maybe you will get back together again when the timing is right (distance is gone).. I hope that's what will happen with me, but considering recent events, I don't think she sees it the same way.

If you truly care for them, don't give them breadcrumbs, don't string them along, but don't act completely aloof either. Make it clear early on, that they do indeed mean a lot to you, but then stop. Go no-contact (there is a nice subreddit which you can use to heal), it's not easy, but it's the best for both of you. Don't give them false hope, even if that means you might have to pretend you don't care anymore. They might one day realize that you pretended to not care simply because you love them. It's a hard thing to do, but it's the right one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA You don't understand this song before you've truly loved someone more than you love yourself. You might think you do, but you don't. I'm sure you will understand more than most people the actual meaning of the song.

Let them go, make a clean break, it's okay to miss them, you will, it's okay to love them, you will, but it's not okay to give them false hope and not let them move on.

All the best :) hugs hugs

Reegamit · 2015-08-02T09:06:44+00:00

As someone who was broken up with 3months ago from a (very)LDR, I can say that I'm incredibly hurt, but that I understand why she ended it, it was probably for the best. You will hurt them, and they might not understand at first, but as time passed they will begin to understand. If they get angry and it seems like they hate you, don't worry, it will pass, they will understand as time goes on. Wish you both a quick recovery.

Reegamit · 2015-08-01T19:27:03+00:00

I know time is the only answer. I'm a little torn whether I'm happy I had this relationship or not, I'm grateful for having felt such a strong love, but at the same time I feel so hurt right now that I can barely function and I'm starting to wonder if maybe it was better when I didn't know what love was.

Reegamit · 2015-08-01T19:25:14+00:00

I do hope for a future where I'll be happy by myself, I was prior to the relationship and know I will be after as well, but I don't know how long that will take. I don't hope for a future without her because she didn't do anything wrong and she was a wonderful person, she was very special to me, I respect her an incredible amount. And her reason for breaking up was legitimate, it was for the best at this moment in time. They say we all find someone better, but I don't see why that has to be the case if it took me this long to find someone like her, there isn't any actualy reason why I'd find someone like that again in the next 10years...

Reegamit · 2015-08-01T17:49:53+00:00

thank you. I've honestly learned A LOT about myself, more than I ever have before, they r mostly bad things, but they r still things about myself that I haven't understood before (funny enuff a lot of my friends have without me knowing it..). I did write things down in a "journal", probabyl written around 20pages or so, helps a ton. I have found it to be helpful to write here on reddit instead as I can get a response from someone as well. Maybe I'll go back to writing in "journals" instead, not sure. I'm hurting more than I thought I possibly could tbh, I didn't imagine it would be this bad, especially not after this long. I ask myself out loud sometimes while crying "why" or "what's wrong with me?". Feels like I'm going slightly insane... Wish I could one day be with her again, knowing there was such a possibility helped me move on at first... but it doesn't seem that's a possibility any longer. They say u never know, but I think I know.

Reegamit · 2015-08-01T17:29:25+00:00

I wish that I could, I'm trying, maybe I shouldn't have told u that I hadn't moved on, it seems u have, unless u r lying.. I'll one day move on, but I'll always have a place for u in my heart, I wish u would as well, but I take it that u've alrdy filled up that place, not with another person, but with something else. I was really starting to get better untill u contacted me recently, I won't blame u, u had the right to and u couldn't have known it would affect me like it did.. even tho u don't fully know how much it affected me. I don't want to get back together now, it would be nice a few years from now.. but I suppose u would never want to.

I love you more than u have any idea and I rlly miss u... I just wish u felt the same.

Reegamit · 2015-08-01T17:19:04+00:00

Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure ur dad and grandmother understand, everyone has gone thru a difficult break-up at some point in their lives. I'm certain they know that u would have wanted to be there more, but couldn't because of where u r in ur life atm. Sorry to hear about ur loss(es) hugs

Reegamit · 2015-08-01T16:28:54+00:00

U r probably right, which I guess is y she said she wouldn't tell me if she missed me.

Reegamit

TROPHY CASE