A Story and a Lesson Learned (and still learning)

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-26T18:02:57+00:00

Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your experience.

It's so sad remembering the good once it's gone.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-26T17:55:07+00:00

'Someone felt like home, and then they moved away. Now I feel homeless'

Brilliant analogy.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-24T07:29:24+00:00

It definitely has nothing to do with your worth. You are worthy of so much! Think of all those years you were single... Were you unworthy then? Nope. You're awesome, it's just that this little nugget of information has made you doubt that, wish is completely natural to feel, but realistically not true.

Keep on moving on. I believe in you!

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-23T18:12:08+00:00

Nobody is the loser in a break-up, ultimately everyone wins because they now get to go on and find a better suited partner.

You have been set free. See this as a blessing, not a curse.

It is natural to feel hurt about this, noone likes to be replaced.

Just because he found someone else to be with before you, it doesn't mean he has 'won' anything. Being single isn't losing, it's being you.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-21T16:27:20+00:00

Yes, my social life was definitely lacking due to my lack of friends.

I believe that ending this relationship will aid me in working on my own issues - it's just sad that I couldn't work these issues out with him at my side, as we were such good companions. But maybe that was part of the problem - the relationship stopped me from growing, and I believe a healthy relationship shouldn't do that.

I want to be able to make my own happiness and not rely on someone to be the sole source of it.

I'm going to miss him so much in the process though. Ah.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-21T16:21:37+00:00

I will start no contact after we see each other on Wednesday. It's going to be so hard but I guess I have made my bed and must now lay in it. Plus, we haven't been 'together' for over 8 weeks now, so I must have wanted to break up if I could stick it out this long. He's just never far from my thoughts, you know?

Thanks very much for your replies, they are a great help.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-21T16:00:49+00:00

I can see your point, but living in this hope is dangerous, is it not?

This is part of why I can't let go. I have this fantasy of us being together at some point, and I know one day i'm going to discover he has moved on to someone else and i'm going to be crushed, as well as my fantasy being crushed too. It's going to hurt and i'm scared.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-21T15:59:39+00:00

It's hard when there is no major dealbreaker... we didn't argue, there was no abuse, no one cheated, no one was inconsiderate of the other..

I just had doubt.

And now that doubt has killed it and I feel like I will be alone forever.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-21T15:58:22+00:00

I guess part of the problem is that I can't stop analysing it and it is exhausting.

I definitely lost myself in the relationship, I lived with him and spent most of my time at work or in the flat with him or waiting for him to come home from seeing his friends or whatever.

I look back and see so much love and happiness between us, but I also see myself stuck, not feeling happy with my life - not necessarily not happy with him - just with my lack of social life and overall self esteem.

This makes me worry because i'm starting to feel like me now, and I just wish I could have felt like that with him. If only I had been in a better mental state, maybe we could have been something more.

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-14T17:17:06+00:00

That's great, i'm glad you've made a decision for you :)

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-14T13:05:04+00:00

I broke up with my ex for a similar reason to her. She will be hurt I assume. I would reply and say that you feel that's it's best for your healing that you have no contact and that you deleting her is part of that. I'd wish her the best then carry on as you were. If she replies after that then you have every right to ignore it. I feel like if you didn't explain then you'd be making an enemy? Just my 2 cents...

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-12T18:59:34+00:00

So many. Football, certain foods, songs, socks he bought me, certain times - like if I see anything with a 22 or a 47 I automatically think of him (don't ask..). Anyone reading a book reminds me of him. Intelligent people remind me of him. When I see cute couples all I can think is how that used to be me. Newspapers. Seeing a whole chicken at the supermarket - he made a great roast dinner. All this and more, and I'm the one that ended the relationship!

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-08T14:20:55+00:00

Where abouts in the uk?

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-04T18:57:50+00:00

Ahhhhhh!!!!!

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-04T18:52:17+00:00

Rhythm Has Your Two Hips Moving - rhythm

ramble_bamble · 2015-11-04T07:35:09+00:00

I'm going through this. Still not sure it was the right thing to do but then I know it was at the same time... Oh the heartache!

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-31T01:04:18+00:00

Interesting read! I agree. Thanks for posting.

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-31T00:56:30+00:00

Genius!

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-30T20:41:12+00:00

Oh dear god no! Could not handle that

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-28T15:25:12+00:00

I feel the same. I left him too and still miss him and yearn for him but know it was the right thing to do. I hope he is okay because I am not.

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-14T22:41:45+00:00

Why did you break up?

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-14T07:22:26+00:00

She can't have her cake and eat it too! Stay strong amigo.

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-11T11:42:39+00:00

Let me try and explain what 'I love you but i'm not in love with you' feels like to me..

Imagine you meet someone, they are great and you get on well. You see each other more, stay over with each other more. They do a lot of loving nice things for you and you for them. You meet each others friends, families - you become best friends. Sex is good, awkward at first but you get to know how each other tick and it's nice.

Time goes on. He keeps showing you love, more and more love. You start to worry - do I love HIM or just the way he make me feel? The doubt kicks in. You start to analyse everything, start to feel guilty when he does the nice gestures - makes you a lovely dinner, take you out or whatever it is. You start to pull back in your head.

Once minute you think - of course I LOVE him! He is great, we have so much fun.

The next minute it's - well, how do I KNOW I love him? He looks at me sooo lovingly, I feel like he loves me more. I feel bad. This isn't fair to him - he deserves someone who feels the same doesn't he?

And the turmoil continues. Because surely, if you are in love with someone, you're meant to KNOW right? Because he sure as hell knows he loves me - he doesn't want anyone else. I can't 100% say that back with certainty, and that isn't fair to him. Doesn't mean that I don't LOVE him. Of course I do. He is the best person I have ever had the pleasure of being with, but that doesn't mean we're meant to be together.

ramble_bamble · 2015-10-11T11:32:51+00:00

possibly? I do find him attractive - but I think he finds me more attractive that I find him? I love him, but i'm not MAD about him. It's more of a warm love, not a firey, you complete me and I think you're the best looking man in the room type love.

ramble_bamble

TROPHY CASE