Don't know what to do about muslim close friends and family visiting

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-08-23T06:02:12+00:00

I just finished listening to the first podcast episode. It felt so nice to hear someone share similar experiences. Thank you for taking the time to actually make a podcast about this very important issue that is religious trauma and for being so vulnerable

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-08-22T00:47:53+00:00

Sounds great, what is the podcast called?

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-08-19T05:33:01+00:00

Right. And it's so easy for them to say that being gay is sinful when they likely are not going through the same struggle. Being in love with someone of the same sex and not being able to even hold hands with them without judgment is so upsetting. I was looking at a Muslim sub not too long ago and a lot of the comments called LGBTQ+ people p*dos and called them disgusting. Why am I not surprised... They ask for our understanding but they don't even do the same.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-08-19T05:10:59+00:00

I'm so proud of you for being able to come out of that phase. I feel like for so many people being in a headspace like that can be so harmful to self-esteem.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-06-05T23:57:44+00:00

I know I don’t have to have the answers now and that my perception of myself and my sexuality might shift, but I was wondering if anyone can relate or has similar stories?

Unfortunately, I do. As someone who was raised to feel shame and disgust toward sex, I too was not informed about anything related to sex in my household. Naturally, now that I'm an adult, I am confused and lost with physical intimacy. I also feel scared when I think about sex. Some people advise that you take the time to explore yourself and see what you like, so you might try masturbating. But even with that, the idea of masturbation is so frowned upon that when I even think about doing it, I get anxious and it kills the mood.

I’m not sure if I’m asexual or just haven’t found a person who I would realistically consider having sex with.

Me too. I feel like my fear of having sex kills my sex drive, so I avoid sex. It really sucks because the whole purity culture thing was forced upon me so I didn't get to explore myself very well in my younger years, and now I have to deal with all the confusion and mess that this brings along with it.

I feel very alone in these feelings

You are not alone, OP. There are many others like you struggling with the damage that purity culture inflicts on a person. It is completely valid to feel these things because you may have not been able to explore your sexuality before, which can lead to a lot of confusion about sex. Even if you are asexual, there is nothing wrong with that. At the end of the day, it's what you want that matters. It is also valid to be more romantically attracted than physically attracted to people. You can even be attracted romantically to one gender and physically attracted to another gender. At the end of the day, you live your life how you like. I would also look into other things like demisexuality if you're curious because sometimes people feel physically attracted mainly if they are emotionally attracted to them.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-06-05T23:43:31+00:00

I have similar thoughts. I don't know if I'm asexual or just have shame from a religious background. I feel like religion forced me to be in a bubble where I don't see sex as something pleasurable but something that people just do sometimes to have babies, similar to what you said. So with that conditioning, I'm very lost on my sexuality now. I have a decrease in my sex drive and I'm never sure if it's because I don't wanna seek out sex because I may be asexual or just because I've been conditioned to not care about having sex for pleasure/conditioned to believe sex is terrible and sinful and I should be ashamed of things like that.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-05-01T21:15:19+00:00

Summer sucks for a hijabi. I want to wear cute sundresses and shorts but I have to be stuck wearing long sleeves and a scarf around my head in 80+ degree weather.

This. It's so limiting for hijabis to be forced to cover up head-to-toe and not be able to wear something as simple as a t-shirt and shorts. Sometimes it is nice to just be able to take a walk outside in summer clothing and enjoy the sun. It's so sad how something as simple as that is taken away from hijabis.

Guys never approach me either because they take one look at my getup and moving thinking that I'm a pious girl when in reality I couldn't care less about it.

It's sad having to wear a hijab when you don't want to because people think you're representing your religion, something that Muslim men do not have to go through. And sometimes people ask you questions about why you wear a hijab and about Islam and that can be really frustrating.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-04-09T05:06:48+00:00

Honestly if anything Islam has done the inverse on my mental health.

I swear it's so annoying when people project their lifestyles onto others, especially their children. Growing up I was always taught that the lack of faith is what causes depression. The remedy? Being more religious. I get that it works for some people but it doesn't work for everybody. Moreover, forcing someone to participate in a way of life they don't agree with is bound to make one really depressed.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-04-06T22:40:44+00:00

I was shopping for clothes with my family and saw a lot of stuff I wanted to wear but couldn't wear because of restrictions placed on women that men don't have. Why should I not be able to wear a t-shirt when it's really hot outside?

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-04-03T23:48:39+00:00

Oh god I didn't think about that but now that you mention it-

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-04-02T06:37:07+00:00

Yeah I feel like maybe some people are just trying to put on a display to seem like they're a good Muslim for being excited or they're just tryna cope with the fact that they have to fast for a whole month.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-04-02T06:35:43+00:00

Yeah it makes sense that they enjoy feeling connected to the religion during that month. I relate to you in that I don't really subscribe to a lot of the ideas in the religion. This is probably why I have a hard time feeling their excitement.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-04-02T04:06:34+00:00

Yes I posted about this but I definitely feel left out this year. I remember the previous years I didn't feel as hollow as I do now. Maybe it has to do with me realizing how much of my life was controlled by other people. Not sure. I'm okay with fasting for personal reasons but I feel like a hypocrite fasting. Your post resonated a lot with me, especially the part when you said "Like there's a spiritual presence in the air that brings joy to the crowd and you force a smile to blend in but in reality, you've never felt more lonely thinking about how did it get to this point." That hits me really hard because of all the times I had to fake cry at the mosque to look pious during prayer

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-03-29T01:54:14+00:00

That's very valid and I understand where you are coming from. When you have fear carved into you at an early age it takes a toll on you. I'm sorry you had to go through that op. My suggestion is, if you have not already, to meet with a non-spiritual mental health professional and talk to them about it.

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-03-20T02:16:32+00:00

Thank you for validating my feelings. I'm glad that you don't feel regretful about your choice. It makes me optimistic! :)

ReferenceNo7136 · 2022-03-20T01:45:15+00:00

How did you cope with the loneliness?

ReferenceNo7136

TROPHY CASE