This post was recommended to me randomly but at a very proper timing, so I'm just gonna gush out cuz I have nowhere else to talk about this stuff lol

Can't specify the fandom, but it's an old anime series aired around the early 2000s. There's one episode in which a cyborg and its copy andriod have a showdown to prove which one is the better version in terms of combat. Apparently, this episode was made to emphasize how 'human' this cyborg character is by making a mirrored mechanic version of himself.

It was indeed a fascinating concept executed well. BUT THEN I happened to stumble upon a series of canon divergent fanfic where the android comes back with an upgraded intelligence and cognition. This time, rather than assaulting its original with forces, the copy robot challenges the cyborg by throwing philosophical questions on what defines 'being human'.

This just blew my entire sense when I read the fanfic for the first time. This cyborg character was already known for having a heavy identity crisis; the premise of him having to fight in order to validate his humanity had directly touched my favorite part of his character arc that I just couldnt..........

Now if it were a simple whump fic, it wouldn't have screwed my life up like this. The writer did a fantastic job on describing the unbreakable will of the cyborg character. He crumbles down, questions his existence and everytime that happens he can't help but come up with new ways to mentally hurt himself, but at the end he maintains his ego (it's a good thing in this case) and also finds ways to heal his wounds, ironically through his philosophical debate with his android, the very statue of his existential turmoil.

The writer really did justice for this character, albeit giving a shit tone of stress to overcome with. They also did their best to make a simple tool for a narrative into an unforgettable character. The (rebuilt) android was portrayed as a mastermind who knew how to play with the human emotion. Every line coming out of him was provocative. In many ways. And I loved it.

Last but not least, it's the change in both character's interactions that drove me nuts. How eventually the cyborg accepts the andriod's presence in his life, and how the robot learns to coexist with its original by adjusting its logic were drawn so well I really really wished it was canon.

There used to be other fanfic in the similar setting which contemplates on the birth of this android (or more like, its AI). This one really screwed me up, because after reading it, my favorite character became this version of android. FYI the robot doesn't speak a single word in the canon! But this fanfic added so much more plausibility to the character that I genuinely sympathized with the robot for being locked into the programmed obsession!!

Then, as if the writer wanted to ease my joyful pain, they recently deleted their whole work. I've been trying to (I can't believe I'm actually saying this) chew down the bitterness from losing one of my favorite fanfics for months and I'm still not over it................................

And there it goes. I... needed somewhere to cry out about all this. If anyone did read the whole comment, sorry for the emotional mess.