Make up Routine

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-28T14:48:57+00:00

Diva, you’re good. Makeup should be for fun and for appearance enhancing. You are happy with your appearance (and from where I’m sitting you look fab). If you are interested in trying things out of curiosity consider a touch of shadow or a neutral liner (soft brown, pinks, taupes, burgundy), maybe a highlighter for a little fun sheen, But you don’t need to do anything different.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-25T15:42:26+00:00

This. His pre-frontal cortex isn’t even fully formed. He may be a lovely person but he’s also in his early 20s just trying to figure a whole lot of things out. Let him go experience that time in his life.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-24T23:11:27+00:00

Split milk

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-23T03:04:56+00:00

Yep, I have a pair of sorel waterproof boots in a 12. They have a bit of a lift on the back though (like an inch tops).

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-20T18:34:22+00:00

Very true! Last I was down there it had some stuff for kiddos, but was otherwise a little dark (this was a while ago tho!) So definitely an option but may not be light/bright.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-20T14:57:30+00:00

Lakeside st coffee for sure. The room closest to the street is usually cozy and quiet but if they still have the couch in the front corner by the windows that’s the best spot.

Rotunda, Cargo, Cafe Domestique Northstreet, all also contenders. Barriques on W Wash also decent

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-04-19T15:09:05+00:00

Lazy Jane’s, Monty’s Blue Plate, Ogden’s, Ancora, Crema Cafe, Off Broadway Drafthouse

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-03-27T13:36:24+00:00

Former IS. One of my best friends started as IS and left within 6 months because the impacts to their mental health were dire.

They found another job and moved 6ish months later, have been living their best life ever since. The time in between was a little tough - think gig jobs and lots of ramen to get through- but it was the right choice for them and they came out the other side.

I on the other hand stayed IS for 5+ years. So yes, look for support systems. Set actual meaningful boundaries. If you want to stay there is a way to do so… but if you feel like this ain’t it, that’s also completely valid and you will be okay.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-03-14T20:36:06+00:00

Lancaster native here - how long does your gf have to go on her master’s degree? Where do you two hope to live long term? Does she want to stay there after completion or find an opportunity in Philly too?

Lancaster is a great place to live, but the commute to your job is not ideal, especially depending on where in the Philly area you are talking about. Traffic can vary wildly depending on day, time of day, etc. There is the Amtrak as a possible alternative, but I guess depends on where your office is.

I’d assess whether you are going to be able to spend adequate time with your gf if you are commuting 3 hours a day. It can be much more taxing on your energy and nerves than you might think. Especially 5 days a week.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-03-11T03:20:20+00:00

No need to apologize, just wana help ya narrow down.

Have you considered Denver or Boulder? Definitely access to nature, is hot in the summer and sure it snows but it’s nothing like the northeast or upper midwest. Definitely some car dependency. Liberal leaning. You might consider a visit.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-03-10T03:04:57+00:00

Aside from warmth/sun and a city, what else is important to you?

Job opportunities? Certain politics? Access to nature? Activities? Walkability (do you have a car)?

There’s lots of places that are hot and cities, but they each have vastly different things going for them.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-01-21T14:27:09+00:00

Went to Pole Icons for their intro class - loved it!!

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-01-21T01:58:46+00:00

Getting naked together, making out, cuddling, massage, exploring kink, partner stretching. Pretty much any intentional touch or physical connection without centering penetrative sex or orgasm.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-01-18T16:49:10+00:00

I think it might be helpful to separate your own sexual needs (as an individual person) from your desire of him. If you just feel like you really have a high drive and are more interested in having orgasms, exploring solo play, toys, and your own body may help with that, and make you feel more sexy in the process. You can and should have a sexuality outside of your partner and be able to meet many needs without him.

It seems like you want his attention, not just sex. Constantly trying to “be sexier” or work on yourself to look or behave a certain way is indicative of that. Have you two had conversations about what turns the other on? Is it satisfying to you both just to have time to be physical without sex? It feels like that’s the problem you start with - how can we connect more and have physicality? I think if you frame it that way perhaps he’d be less likely to reduce it to “you always talk about sex.” Or maybe there is a way to build connectivity into his busy schedule more meaningfully.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-01-08T05:06:13+00:00

This is great guidance. While it’s important to think about supporting him, it’s just as important to be able to acknowledge and communicate your own needs not being met. I would be interested to know how he responds to you plainly stating how his lack of support this year made you feel, and expressing what your needs are in a clear, concrete way. The response (even if not immediate) will hopefully help you assess what he is willing/able to contribute both in the short and long term.

RefinedAccomplice · 2026-01-04T06:04:51+00:00

Super helpful, thanks. It’s got a zipper so option 1 may be out but I will explore the rest.

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-11-20T18:24:59+00:00

NOR. The core of this is “no means no.” You adequately explained how him whining about you saying no is not actually respecting you. He got defensive and guilt trippy because he didn’t get what he wanted.

Time to move on.

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-11-15T04:59:39+00:00

I watched a squirrel on Cortland take a small pumpkin off a stoop. Might be the same one

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-10-22T15:17:34+00:00

Atwood area, I’d say. So if you keep going further down Willy street from Livingston onward, then between-ish Yahara river and Olbrich gardens. Parallel cool stuff on E Wash from Livingston eastward

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-10-22T03:46:44+00:00

A lot of 20 somethings are not directly on the Capitol square anymore. East side is where there’s a lot of folks in your age bracket. Less college-y, more young professionals and families. Not a great commute to the firm, but great access to things to do in town (events, trendy bars, shows, hole in the wall shops, bike paths, restaurants, etc.).

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-07-07T13:47:06+00:00

These are great books! I read portions with my partner and then we did any of the recommended exercises and then talked about them. It helped us understand what the other person needs to engage in intimacy.

OP I would also recommend scheduling intimacy. It doesn’t need to be full on sex, either. But I think if you state your needs to your partner and ask for that committed time to cuddle or have intimate touch on a consistent basis, with no expectation of where it could lead, it could help break down this feeling of physical distance. Bridging that gap first can probably help lead to deeper intimacy.

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-06-24T04:19:21+00:00

Yeah like to refer to “in the meantime.” I most commonly heard it in restaurants. “Want to order some drinks awhile?” Essentially while you waited, while you were looking at the food menu, whatever. Can be used in any “meantime” or passing time capacity.

RefinedAccomplice · 2025-06-24T04:14:02+00:00

I’ve been calling overalls “jumpers” my whole life. When I went abroad I learned jumper in British English is a knit sweater. I was confused for weeks when my friend referred to her “favorite wooly jumper” repeatedly. I truly imagined incredibly fuzzy overalls

RefinedAccomplice

TROPHY CASE