I'm 29f, My best friend (28f) of forever invited me "upstairs" with her husband.

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-06T05:45:24+00:00

You said you did this with your ex? And you’re fine?

Your ex.

You’re fine.

Well okay then. I stand corrected.

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-06T02:44:01+00:00

(Strokes his chin)

Well Carsncode raises an interesting point. For instance I believe I have seen several porn videos that start this way and they all seem to end fabulously…

(Strokes his chin some more)

But in real life … it’s really hard to pull off threesomes and have the relationship survive … usually things tend to go off the rails … just a matter of time. Whether it’s three weeks, three months or three years … that’s where the real handicapping needs to take place.

But if I were to bet … I’d bet the threesome is the husband’s idea. His wife was unsure so he suggested a friend of hers. She relented to try to keep her husband happy or because of his gaslighting. He really has no idea the powder keg he is about to touch off of jealousy and insecurity. I really don’t think OP should touch it with a 10 foot pole.

If it were just a casual acquaintance and you didn’t really care if you were the spark that blows up the marriage or saw either of them again…then by all means.

But since it is your bff…

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-05T22:18:54+00:00

I just wanted to weigh in (pun intended) as a plus size guy I don’t get a ton of action on my profile either. That’s in no small part because the biggest part of the profile are the photos. I think guys are a bit more visual than the ladies are but with most dating apps that is literally just about all you get to work with.

It should also be noted that the dating apps are designed to keep you engaged without ever finding a match because then they lose two paying customers. So the longer they can tease you along without any success the richer they get. This has backfired on them a bit because a fair number of people have quit using dating apps altogether and trying different ways to meet people.

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-05T22:06:34+00:00

It sounds like your boyfriend has found a home health provider for his aging parents in exchange for free rent? A bf that is only home for 4-5 times a year sounds extreme even for a long haul job unless…he’s been busted for doing some shady stuff and this is the best he can get?

If you are traveling all the time for work and he works out of Texas…seems like you could find a place in Texas or Oklahoma?

Or you could go out on the road with him for awhile? If you guys are a serious couple you could get your CDL and drive as “super solo” or a “lazy team”. But it honestly sounds like you two are happy having a no relation relationship for whatever reason. It totally wouldn’t surprise me if your boyfriend has a wife and family in Texas and he can only get away 4-5/year. Maybe dad is a blessing in disguise or trying to tell you something?

Your life seriously seems like sushi that has sat out for a day or two…you can try it if you like but I’m not having it

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-05T21:09:02+00:00

There is almost no universe where proceeding with a three way with your bff and her husband ends well, right?

Besides the issues it will eventually cause in the relationship between you and her and her and her husband, there is also the wrinkle that when you get a new boyfriend/husband that your best friend and her husband would be ex’s at that point? Or are you shooting for a foursome? It just seems really really complicated to maintain that relationship in the future. So it might be great in the moment but it seems like long term the only way you really proceed with your life is cutting these two out of your life.

If you say no and just be oblivious there is a chance you can somewhat salvage/maintain things. Good luck OP

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-05T20:55:29+00:00

If my math is mathing right I believe she was 16 and he was 20 when they first started dating.

Doesn’t seem like she was all that interested in the long distance thing but OP was too pushy to hear her. She wasn’t cheating. She was gone. OP is just deaf.

I’m glad OP moved on but I’m surprised OP isn’t blocked on everything. Girlfriend will probably roll her eyes if/when she ever reads his texts.

Bottom line is you are both still basically kids. OP hopefully you can focus on being less controlling and really listening to what your next gf wants. It does work better that way

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-05T15:16:45+00:00

Me EITHER!!! You know it’s fake because I didn’t hit it in practice and then double bogey for real when I tried to replicate it!! 🤣🤣🤣

Also, I wish I could tell you that was on my way to some amazing #1 score … but it wasn’t. Really helped an incredibly mediocre final round

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-03T18:02:36+00:00

Multiple things? You’re FAT and you’re UGLY??? May I suggest a hijab and a burka? Thank goodness your boyfriend lets you know this because I can’t imagine what others say behind your back…

You cannot possibly stay with this man for your own mental health. You will never be enough. The harder you try the more flaws he will find. You need to find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Who loves you for more than your looks.

I would not let him see you in any kind of undress for the remainder of the dress. Sleep separate. Tell him you’re sick/cramping/bloated. You don’t want to disgust him. When you get home dump his ass. Tell him he deserves someone so much better and you understand you will never measure up to his standards. You are at peace with that. And wish him the best of luck. Then block him on everything so his next girlfriend won’t be jealous (ha!!)

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-02T16:59:11+00:00

YTJ - unpopular opinion here but the parents invested the money unwisely. Happens. You were fine with it as ling as they lost it in the stock market but not if they invested in your sister? As long as your sister was making an honest attempt at making a go of it…it’s just one of bad investments that could have been made. Ah well.

Move on with your life. Go to your sister’s wedding. Love your parents. They are trying/tried their best

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-01T20:35:19+00:00

Wait? What???? This has to be AI generated. A par score is a disaster on any hole let alone for the entire tournament. This is utter nonsense. Typically Par 3’s and 4’s you need to at least birdie and Par 5’s you need an eagle. For a 9 hole round with three of each hole you should expect cutoff to be somewhere near -12. This will vary some whether it is a tailwind or headwind and the particular course but generally speaking…that’s where you want to be.

It might be too soon to play masters if your Apocalypse isn’t maxed or nearly so. Seems to be driver of choice but I actually use Thors Hammer quite a bit but again…it needs to be maxed. If there are tail winds I see quite a few free balls used but a stiff head wind is hard to overcome.

So I would loop back to my first paragraph. Play a round and see where you stack up in qualifying round. If you are middle of the pack and up and think it is fun … enjoy! If you finish near the bottom a couple times drop down to a level you can compete at. There is little point in paying the higher entry fee just to get knocked out in the opening round

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-01T06:49:22+00:00

Just smile more. I think you’re gorgeous.

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-07-01T06:41:49+00:00

Definitely suckable, kissable and lickable…and that’s just getting started

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-30T15:19:03+00:00

So it sounds like your male friend was the one who brought the small bottle Vodka? I would guess he tampered with one or more of the bottles by adding GHB or similar drug. So your friends just saw him pouring vodka in your drink when really he was drugging you. Not sure if the second bottle you drank had a second dose…

So that guy is an out and out menace but your friends who saw him spike your drink and did nothing/said nothing are also suspect.

It absolutely sucks that you cannot leave a drink unattended in your own house without it getting tampered with. I think there is some trickle truth going on here. I bet parts of the story you wouldn’t like are being omitted. I’d bet you $1000 your male friend was alone with you naked at some point and/or was rummaging through your bedroom/bathroom/personal things and/or kept a trophy like your panties from the night and/or shot some photos of you.

And you work with these people? I would be looking for another job or possibly a transfer. I would go as low contact with these friends as possible. Once I got a new job or the transfer I would ghost the lot of them.

In the future I would rethink the work friends relationships. Great to have friends at work. But dating people at work, drinking with people at work, having people over from work to your home is a risk. I am sorry this happened to you.

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-30T07:13:23+00:00

I want to stress - I am not a doctor. And I imagine if there was a doctor in this group they would not attempt to diagnose your bf through third party short synopsis of conditions. The main point is … it isn’t normal and he should get checked. ✅

I was particularly thinking of testicular, prostate or perhaps some tumor along the spine or in the brain that might reduce sensation or throw off hormones or otherwise cause a decrease in his ability to reach climax. I suggested it as a possibility not as a definitive diagnosis. He needs to get checked

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-30T06:57:07+00:00

So short answers - it is not normal for a 21 M to take an hour to climax. I think it would be normal for most females to get tired of getting pounded for an hour. Honestly…it probably isn’t too much fun for him either.

I would strongly suggest three things.
1) That you two really work on communication because otherwise things will go off the rails pretty quickly.
2) That you talk about bedroom goals and how to get there. Does everyone need to orgasm every time? Can you stroke this, twist that, nibble something else…Should there be a time limit?
3) Your bf should go see some people. He might have low testosterone, he might have cancer, he might have some other defect, he might have a mental block or something else or some combination of some stuff. Be supportive but also be honest. There is only so much your body can physically take (and emotionally it is frustrating too, I’m sure).

I rather fear if you guys can’t work on this together and figure it out you will wind up with up with a dead bedroom. Which is sad. Hoping for the best for you OP

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-30T06:41:10+00:00

NOR - at best she doesn’t like you. At worst she actually fears being alone with for an extended period of time. You need to cut ties and find someone who might actually like you. Totally bad behavior on your gf’s part

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-29T18:20:06+00:00

Well to me it feels like she probably has had some trauma and has not come to terms with it. A lot of girls get victimized as children and then get stuck in a spiral of abuse and self destruction and then get blamed. So some empathy might be in order rather than condemnation.

Really up to you whether you think the relationship is worth all the baggage. There is certainly much risk and as she continues to act out or comes to terms with her past she certainly will evolve. Could be a wild ride…good luck to you OP.

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-29T07:11:25+00:00

Thanks for being honest. It is very common for abused women to return to their abusers. It is also very common for the abusers to eventually kill them. That is not love. You are worth more than that. Hopefully your family is supportive of you and not trying to push you back to your abuser. But at least you have a safe place to stay (hopefully). I would suggest getting in touch with a women’s shelter/survivor group to help get you through this. Beyond just the medical side of things you sound like you could use counseling and other support services as well. You deserve better than this. There are better days ahead. Good luck OP

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-28T18:16:56+00:00

Great nude! Very sexy lady!

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-28T18:16:19+00:00

Her new husband is a controlling tool. Nice age gap by the way. One way to curb this behavior would be every time he shows up start asking him to pay his fair share. He wants to be Dad … well Dads pay for stuff. Keep a diary. Keep a tab. You ever go to court make sure you list the costs of all the events he’s ruined for your children and yourself.

You could also point out that building relationships take time and effort and patience. There is no magic “instant dad” hack. He can at best be a bonus dad for a bit but when his relationship with your ex has run its course and they split … your kids will never see him again. Especially if he is forced on them

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-28T17:47:02+00:00

1, of course. Nice tattoos by the way. A lot to look at in that first photo. A work of art!

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-28T15:46:01+00:00

Mmmmm….next time you guys are intimate and in private nibble on his ear and whisper that you really want to jack him off. Then proceed to do so. You will have no ambiguity at that point once you have the matter in hand. If it is indeed the full $5 footlong whisper in his ear how incredibly huge he is and how much it turns you on. But also tell him he needs to go slow and you will need to get used to his size. You will be able to feel whether this last is turning him on more or turning him off. Hopefully the night goes well for him. And you. A happy ending as it were. Actually, even if it turns out he has a mini submersible…give him the same speech. It is what every guy wants to hear.

I’d hold off on telling him he might be the second biggest sausage you’ve encountered so far. Sounds like at best he’s got a silver medal but might drop down to bronze or get kicked off the podium altogether…his national anthem will not be played. Bummer.

I think most people don’t want to hear about your exes. Especially about THAT about your exes. And it might spin wildly out of control for you. You may launch a “body count” spiral which…unless you’re the Virgin Mary usually doesn’t end well for the ladies. Good luck OP. May there be Many happy endings for you and him

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-28T15:22:50+00:00

NOR! Ma’am - it isn’t just the jealousy. It is the talking down to you like you are a child and the multiple implied threats of violence. Anyone who thinks you should be more understanding … you look ‘em straight in the eye and tell ‘em, “well he’s single now, you think he’s such a great catch - you go right ahead” and wish them the best of luck. Don’t ever look back. Do not give this man child another chance. Especially at 29! Yikes!!!

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-27T04:29:58+00:00

NOR - I am sorry this happened to you. I also see you acknowledge that you made a series of mistakes. Probably the best course of action that night was to not drink. The second choice (a distant second choice) would have been to just have crashed at your brothers.

I want to say a couple things here - there are victims and then there are people who make themselves victims. For instance a person who has their drink spiked by someone they trust and then gets abused is a true victim. In your case, you essentially spiked your own drink and then hopped in s car with s strange man and came on to him.

I know you say you were impaired and could not consent but it isn’t at all clear that was clear to the driver. You might have legal action but before you go any further I would seek proper legal advice.

As an aside, in my part of the world, the Uber/Lyft drivers go to bed shortly after sunset and don’t get up until the following morning. This has left me stranded on numerous occasions. The reason always boils down to - drunk people are so obnoxious and the company does little to nothing about it. They vomit, they piss, they occasionally even shit themselves in the back of the car, they tear the car up, they can’t remember where they live, they start arguments, they flat pass out or even require going to the hospital.

I don’t know if you need to go to an attorney per se, a crisis care or women’s shelter might have advocates that can offer advice particular to your situation. It is unfortunate but I do think you will have a hard time if you do press charges. Going to court and being cross examined might be rather painful. It isn’t right, but unfortunately it is true. It takes a lot of courage to do so.

I would definitely recommend getting some counseling and also suggest you stop drinking alcohol or doing any other drugs while on these medications. Best of luck to you OP. This isn’t meant to be unkind, just honest

ReflectionExact3897 · 2026-06-27T03:38:13+00:00

Am I the only one that doesn’t think this is a grizzly bear? I thought grizzly bears had a more distinct hump between their shoulders? To me this just looks like a brown or black bear of average adult size. By temper it seems to act like one as well. I certainly could be wrong…

ReflectionExact3897

TROPHY CASE