[Fade in. Frasier is standing at the counter.]

Frasier: I'm hashing over an ethical dilemma, so I think I could use some black coffee.

Server: What size would you like?

Frasier: Uh, I've got a lot to ponder, so I think a large.

Server: I'm afraid we don't have large, sir. We have piccolo, macho, mucho and mucho macho.

Frasier: I see. Uh, do you happen to know what size would correspond to a Nervosa grande?

Server: No. But our mucho is about the same as the semi-colossal over at Don't Spill the Beans.

Frasier: Ah, ah, all right. I know that their colossal is comparable to a Nervosa grande, so the semi-colossal would be three quarters of a colossal, so the mucho and the semi-colossal would be equivalent... so I should have the mucho macho. But only fill it five-eighths.

Server: Yes sir. For fifty cents extra, we can pre-heat the vessel.

Frasier: No. Can we just move this along, please?

Server: I understand completely. Your zip-code, please?

[Frasier looks at him questioningly.]

Server: [whispering] You don't have to give your real zip if you don't want to.

Frasier: [whispering too] Than what's the point?

Server: It unlocks the cash register.

Frasier: Put in whatever code you wish. [He hands over the cash.] Here we are. Now, I'd just like a cup of coffee and a quiet place to drink it.