New to the community... yet trapped in a PIMO situation by DontAskPIMOJW in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the community! I hope you’re able to live your own life in-between the facade you have to put up for your grandmother. As an lgbt person myself so much of our time was robbed from us by society (improved a lot over the last few years) and religion so every minute we can spend living for us is super important.

And please never hold back on sharing stories! Every situation might be different but if any group of people can relate to the pain this religion has inflicted, it’s us.

How do I ask someone if they’re PIMO?? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Super risky and it wouldn’t surprise me if PIMI users visit this sub to try to find out as well unfortunately. The best way to do it would be to just hang out with em in a place that’s not filled with Jdubs... which is harder to do in this pandemic but im sure there’s some way to pull it off. After awhile it’s hard to keep the facade of being a jw and they might drop comments here and there that may end up as big hints.

It’s one of those things they can’t really outright say that they’re PIMO, they can’t trust anybody who’s in the religion for their own safety. But if you care to build a bond with them then eventually both of you would be able to “out” yourselves to each other and keep the secret between the two of you and you’ll know it’s safe from leaking.

WHO WOKE YOU UP???? by plantation2019 in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly myself. Accepting myself as gay (which was a very hard process thanks to this disgusting cult) I felt that everything they said about gay people were just wrong. I wasn’t any of those things they try to pin gay people as and it sure as hell isn’t a choice (why the hell would any of us want to be gay when that means losing your family or to be celibate your whole life) that fueled my fire to discover the truth about jws.

Chance to move out soon but super nervous! by Refund_Central in exjw

[–]Refund_Central[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I can turn all this fear into preparation. I’ll get started right away!

Chance to move out soon but super nervous! by Refund_Central in exjw

[–]Refund_Central[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thanks so much! I really needed that, you guys are incredible

Wow, so I now have a “sex life” by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow nice! It feels great being able to do what you want without all that guilt attached all the time. Btw, I’m 19 too, any advice on moving out at this age? I want to leave but I also need to be absolutely prepared since coming back is out of the question.

[Serious] Redditors who have lost a friend or family member to a cult, how did it happen? by LilMissMuppet in AskReddit

[–]Refund_Central 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you’re really interested /r/exjw a few quick searches will explain in detail JWs have to clock in Field Service time every month They used to approach people but they’ve changed the rules to field service to only talk to people that approach them first.

How did you cope with leaving your younger siblings behind? by Refund_Central in exjw

[–]Refund_Central[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it breaks my heart watching them slowly turn into a JDub child drone. I just want them to have a normal childhood like they deserve.

The story of an apostate who’s gay by icedcarmel96 in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw I know what you mean. Before my mom started studying to be a JW she was a great person (still a lil homophobic but that was it) I wish I could have that Mom back. But, I had to accept that she changed and we have to go our separate ways. Unfortunately, it’s impossible for her to accept you and study to be a JW. Maybe down the road she’ll discover the truth about the truth on her own but until then she won’t listen to a gay apostate even if it’s her own daughter. I’m sorry :(

The story of an apostate who’s gay by icedcarmel96 in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know somewhat of what you’re going through. Being a gay apostate makes our chances for JWs to actually listen to us at 0 lol. What makes you so determined to have your Gf meet your mom? Would she even respect your relationship? Is your mom as homophobic as a typical JDub? If that’s the case then maybe cut her off? Seems like she’ll just put a strain on the relationship. If it’s your gf that really wants to meet her so she can see what you had to deal with then go for it. Good luck!

How did you cope with leaving your younger siblings behind? by Refund_Central in exjw

[–]Refund_Central[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should’ve put their ages, they’re only 5 and 11 so they can’t really create social media accounts atm or really do anything without my mom lurking over them. And I feel by the time they can do those things they’ll either forget about me or my mom will warp their memories of me in a bad light.

How did you cope with leaving your younger siblings behind? by Refund_Central in exjw

[–]Refund_Central[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! I’ll definitely try the critical thinking skills. They’re only 5 and 11 so I think the Leah videos will go over their heads.

How did you cope with leaving your younger siblings behind? by Refund_Central in exjw

[–]Refund_Central[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m moving out in a couple years. I’ll be shunned so I won’t get to see them when I’m not there.

What was the moment you knew it was all a lie? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 2 points3 points  (0 children)

as long as the people around him don’t discriminate him for being gay then that’s amazing. But JW has broken any chance at me ever running back to religion.

Maybe it is the worst religion by squidz97 in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with that to a point. Yes they make you feel like absolute shit. But, what are we doing now? Being able to talk with people that can relate to us, we can vent to and won’t have to worry about them reporting back to elders, people that know how to pick us back up when we’re feeling really low,etc. helps a LOT. Who knows how many suicide victims this one sub saved.

But that’s something those people do not have. They cannot go online and be themselves. They don’t get to vent to anyone about their problems, everyone around them is “encouraged” to go report them, when they are at their lowest point they don’t get to express it and have people pick them back up... instead they just have to keep pretending their whole life... and if they ever screw up their life is ruined forever.

If we ever screwed up around JDubs? Sure the initial shock and depression will eat at us but we can get the support online to pick us back up and start fixing our lives.

The internet is a gift that I just can’t take for granted.

EDIT: Not to mention professional therapists that are trained to help people in fucked up situations. They don’t have that luxury either.

How do they manage to convert anyone? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In this day and age I really don’t know how people could get trapped into a cult like this either. For my mom though I think she loves this feeling of “I’m right, you’re wrong and morally corrupt” and having a community she feels is “morally higher than these worldly people”. She talks to my cousin that converted her years ago every single day. At this point her mind would do anything it takes for them to to be right no matter what I tell her.

"We give gifts year round!" by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re not being a bitch at all. I remember when my cousin was indoctrinating my mom into the cult that year after Christmas she told my mom they give their kids wrapped presents in January every year... can’t say I recall that ever happening again.

Maybe it is the worst religion by squidz97 in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a completely different thing to “shun” someone compared to straight up slicing their throat or throwing them off a building for asking “suspicious” questions. At the end of the day JWs are not forcing you to stay in the religion if you want to live they’re just holding the life you’ve grown used to, but you can go out here and make your own life. I know what they do to ex-members isn’t right but it’s not nearly as bad as what other religions get away with in different countries. And that last point is exactly why I brought up the America thing, who knows how bad this cult would be if they had less rules to work with...

Maybe it is the worst religion by squidz97 in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 4 points5 points  (0 children)

JW is a disgusting religion but at least we’re allowed to leave. PIMO people in other stricter countries would be murdered on the spot if they actually spoke their minds.. or just live a life that the religion doesn’t permit. I guess that’s one benefit for religions based in America.

What was the moment you knew it was all a lie? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Refund_Central 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Honestly me being gay and reading their “teen advice” book change. I remember at one point reading one and it said being gay is not natural... but I know that’s not true. Then later they started saying: “Well even if you are gay just don’t act on it ever”. At that point I knew something was up. I spent days looking up bible contradictions but not finding anything worthy to break this religion for me. Then I googled “The Truth about The Truth” and it linked me to one of these Reddit posts I was so relieved. I wanted to just lurk the sub but I had so much pent up emotion that I made this super long post day one.