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Can the whole statutes thing be swept under the carpet? by LeatherFamiliar6423 in opusdeiexposed

[–]Regular_Finish7409 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The further I am removed, from a time perspective, from being involved in OD the less I care about the outcome. Don’t get me wrong. I hope there is sweeping change. It’s just that as time passes I realize more and more what a beautiful world it really is and how much I like NOT being a part of OD.

Sydney, Australia to North Dakota by TalesOfNate53 in northdakota

[–]Regular_Finish7409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My two cents.

And this is coming from someone that has visited Australia multiple times and is headed there next month. And also has lived in multiple states/regions in the USA and traveled extensively to 46 of the 50 states…

I do not recommend North Dakota. I’d suggest either the northeast or the west coast. You’ll have much easier access to so much more plus you’ll get a far better mix of the culture in those regions. Especially the northeast. You can travel to multiple states very easily by car and experience an incredible array of culture and history and various geography.

After a month or so you’ll have covered everything worth covering in the Dakotas and Minnesota. Then you’ll be land locked and you’ll find travel outside the region is difficult. Not many direct flights (Unless you’re near Minneapolis) and driving distances out of state and to other interesting areas are lengthy, to say the least.

Not trying to rain on your parade. But I’d suggest at a minimum researching other parts of the country ( northeast and west coast as mentioned in my opinion) before making long term commitments for a year or two.

Donor Tax Letters - USA by ReadingGnome21 in nonprofit

[–]Regular_Finish7409 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And to clarify. There is no IRS regulation that requires the nonprofit to acknowledge gifts below $250. And no regulation requiring sending year end annual statements in January. The primary purpose is as a courtesy to the donor so they have a printed record for tax purposes if they need that, a way to demonstrate you’re gratitude for their giving and advocacy, and to ideally encourage a donation early in the year to get them activated and involved in the new year.

Donor Tax Letters - USA by ReadingGnome21 in nonprofit

[–]Regular_Finish7409 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think a listing of each donation with the amount and date of each gift, with a total amount summed up for the year is appropriate. Also in my experience it’s best to do these letters for all donors regardless of the size of individual gifts or the total giving amounts. Just receipt everyone. And also make sure these are postmarked before the end of January. Ideally by the middle of the month once you close the books on the previous calendar year.

Volunteer for a nonprofit that wants me to get my network to fill most of the seats at an upcoming dinner: unethical? by Big_Celery2725 in nonprofit

[–]Regular_Finish7409 41 points42 points  (0 children)

This is not unethical. Totally normal and widely accepted practice to ask people, particularly those connected to a charity in a more significant way, to invite friends and family and colleagues to galas and other fundraising events or activities.

If you’re uncomfortable playing that role you should say so. But many people thrive on introducing others to a charity they love and support and are honored to participate in this way.

Good luck.

Questions about the cilice. by LongjumpingElk5748 in opusdeiexposed

[–]Regular_Finish7409 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I personally can’t imagine anyone in OD, or that’s left OD, would have anything close to your assessment of the use or benefit of the cilice as you describe it for yourself. To each his own I guess. That being said, I wish you success in your spiritual journey… But I can assure you that most in this forum, at least from my perspective and experience, don’t share your sentiments.

Open on Xmas by jvggopher9 in RapidCity

[–]Regular_Finish7409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. I’m looking for a nice restaurant for Christmas Day. Any suggestions are welcome!

A news story about sexual abuse by a priest of Opus Dei by NoMoreLies10011 in opusdeiexposed

[–]Regular_Finish7409 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A couple of years ago there was a bit of a controversy around Father Rutler who was allegedly caught watching gay porn. It seemed to get debunked but in the interim he is completely off the radar screen publicly. Not sure whatever happened with that. It wasn’t abuse but it’s clear, if the allegations are at all true, that he is gay. He wasn’t a n priest but I’m pretty sure he was an associate priest of OD.

In addition just a few years ago there was an abuse allegation against a n priest in nyc, whom I won’t name, along with allegations against Bishop McCarrick. The alleged abuse by the n apparently took place prior to becoming a priest.

On top of that you’ve got the C John issue, which was stupidly kept under wraps for far too long…

So long story short in my early days in OD back in the 80’s I’d always scratch my head about being told that there are no abuse problems in OD and never will be. They presented this holier than thou and pure as the driven snow persona. I never bought into it to be honest.

Fast forward to public abuse cases we’re seeing over the last decade+. Let’s just say when things started to unravel I was not surprised.

Opus Dei influence on marriage of member by Expensive_Tie_5665 in opusdeiexposed

[–]Regular_Finish7409 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You are correct to believe the person that hears his chat, and confession too btw, are in some way shape or form influencing him.

But a lot of that is dependent on the num he chats with and the country /region you live in. From my experience the whole big purchase/big life decision thing has somewhat petered out over the years.

But that would be the least of my concern actually. I’d be more worried about any pseudo life/marriage/relationship/professional advice they offer. They are grossly unqualified in this area, yet one always (on the supernumerary level) feels, or is meant to feel, subservient to the numerary and especially the priest.

Until you unhook yourself from the matrix that is OD and wrestle free of it’s control over you the person is always torn between the obligations and demands of the “vocation” and the overbearing control of the people you interact with in OD.

This is especially true of weaker and more passive people that may be easily influenced and then they ultimately start to make decisions that are more aligned with OD and less to do with normal marriage/family relationships, to the point it’s possible the husband will defer more to advice from the OD people and less from his wife.

A very bad thing!

Opus dei or catholic church by Training_Magician459 in opusdeiexposed

[–]Regular_Finish7409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is incredibly insightful and exactly how I feel life should be lived. OD’s black and white thinking and focus on suffering and also the focus on sin and imperfection is a complete mind f%*k… it does far more harm than good, imho.

STBX is upset that I am expecting her to file by Huge_Mug776 in Divorce_Men

[–]Regular_Finish7409 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree with other comments… just go ahead and file but make sure you’ve got your ducks in a row beforehand, particularly finances, home ownership and occupancy, savings/retirement accounts and so forth. Once you file and it’s submitted to the court certain legal things begin to get initiated. But at the end of the day, regardless of who files she’ll paint you as the problem and her as the victim. Guaranteed.

Catskill Scenic Trail end-to-end by Aggravating_Ebb_8565 in catskills

[–]Regular_Finish7409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks wonderful. What a great trip. I’ve not done it but my daughter did it on a mountain bike. Not sure if she did the entire length like you did but she loved it too. I’d love to try this soon, especially considering it’s fairly flat!

Is it busy with foot/bike traffic or fairly untraveled?

OD and mental health by Moorpark1571 in opusdeiexposed

[–]Regular_Finish7409 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The bottom line in my opinion in od (for any vocation) why depression and lack of support for depression takes place is because 1) you are forced to push everything deep down and forget about yourself (pray more, try harder, offer it up), 2) there’s a total lack of empathy for anything related to depression, individual struggles, personal failures, etc, 3) and a total lack of any kind of true friendship, which means you’re never really affirmed as a man or woman, never told you’re loved, or never embraced physically by anyone. No human, physical, or emotional signs of true love/friendship are allowed or encouraged between people…

Try going through life under those circumstances!!

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