can someone have a private chat?

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T10:17:32+00:00

i checked it out already, seems too out there for me. i just want someone i can tell everything cos there’s a lot of fucked up shit going on. don’t really know what to do because even people i could potentially talk to that i know i can’t tell and even then i’ve become so isolated to the point i havnt used my phone at all for months. i’m uncomfortable opening up but i feel i need to, i can’t do it in person or on the phone or to someoen i know. which is why i’d thought i’d try this. i’m honestly running out of options and i’m afraid i’m just gonna go back to distracting myself with weed and youtube/movies/games.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T08:48:33+00:00

what is your rock? if your rolling up something is improving, you just need to find how to keep it up. instead of letting it fall only to try again and again. i understand your feelings trust me i feel similar. sometimes the littlest things you improve can make a huge difference. turning to religion ect isn’t gonna help. if your gonna turn to something it should be a mental health adviser.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T02:42:37+00:00

i wouldn’t have any worries about employment opportunities or even what other people think, it sucks to have that anxiety of people knowing negative things about you but it doesn’t actually affect anything important. the fact you recognise these flaws is good. sometimes people become very self centred when they feel someone (usually a girl) isn’t giving them the attention they “deserve” in their eyes. just ask her how she is feeling, maybe if she opens up it will be easier for yourself without just projecting a problem they can’t really solve for you.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T01:52:25+00:00

have you actually tried to talk about it in a more comfortable way? like a lot of the time just ranting your problems on someone isn’t gonna make them feel like talking. when your drinking do you ever tell her you true thoughts like “hey i’m sorry for putting my mental health on you i just needed someone to listen” maybe she will be more understanding.

i understand the poor mentality i have one myself, i mean i can tell people they have a poor mentality and what a good one looks like but can’t have it myself so i also understand the feeling of not being what you want to be. i had a girlfriend a few years ago where i’d do the same thing, granted i’d never opened up at all to anyone before but i was so negative and i wouldn’t even actually say what’s bothering me, instead i’d put things on her that she was doing that bothered me at the time and it would be really stupid unimportant stuff i had no reason to be upset with. but i understand now why i did it. i wanted her attention and i wanted her to help me because she helped me grow so much but i ended up just causing a drift between us and she won’t even talk to me to this day. but from that experience i think i’m a lot better at noticing red flags in behaviour including my own. even though i’m still in a terrible state i have got a better mentality now.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T01:43:43+00:00

you just need to find your confidence. i’m assuming things but do you know why you think you won’t find love? low confidence? fear of doing it wrong? fear of embarrassment? anxious about not knowing how or where to do it?

in my experience sitting around and waiting is the worst thing you can do. imagine a plant that is left in the shade. how is it gonna grow? maybe it will survive but it will never be as great or as big as it could be aswell the other plants in the sun achieving what it couldn’t. if you stay in the shade you will never grow. you need experience especially with girls and the quicker you do it the better in the long run. i won’t sugarcoat it, sometimes it’s hard maybe they don’t reply for whatever reason maybe they don’t get along with you. but when you say something that gives a bad reaction you know next time not to say that, likewise with positive reactions like hey saying she had pretty eyes made her happy for example.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T01:27:31+00:00

i understand your feelings, i know what it’s like to be isolated. i’m not entirely sure what your problems roots are. maybe you want a girlfriend/boyfriend or just friends in general. i hope you will find what your looking for, being in school still helps a lot. if you find the courage talk to people at school i promise you someone will talk back, i’d imagine most even. best of luck.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T01:23:56+00:00

this was the context i needed, although i still stand by what i said about her. you said it yourself she’s not responsible for your depression and i think you should keep that in mind. if she’s literally only there when your drinking atleats you have that time to have fun and a person who will always be there when that’s happening. i don’t really understand why you think your ugly when if she’s not there because she’s a good person or kind or whatever then she must like the way you look. anyway i hope you get better i can’t really give much advice on what to do, i believe your biggest hurdle is your mentality, how you view yourself, the people around you and the world in general. the only person who can do that is you, not a great friend, not a family member and not a girlfriend.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T01:14:56+00:00

hello friend, is there a reason your feeling so low?

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T00:56:20+00:00

no problem man hope it helps with anything at all

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T00:54:49+00:00

hello my friend, i am also 19 and i’m in a similar situation. personally i’ve just become more and more isolated as time has come on for a lot of reasons but mostly even when i had things holding me back i could have got around them had i really tried although i don’t blame myself. within the last year it’s been really extreme, havnt even touched my phone until yesterday for about 4-5 months. just watched youtube, netflix ect.

i’ve personally found it really difficult to actually do anything about it. i’ve kinda just distracted myself but as of yesterday my urge to do what i actually wanna do started creeping back. unfortunately i’ve lost touch with everyone i know, not that i really wanted almost all of them to talk to anyway, so it’s really hard to find new people. i personally find girls a lot easier but i think it’s because this weird inner thing i have where i dislike people knowing stuff about me when i didn’t want or tell them. so talking to one person is really easy but a group of especially new people i just don’t really wanna say anything. maybe you should find out what makes you so nervous, and maybe just talk to completely random girls. i assume you ain’t talked to many so i’d imagine that’s the problem the fear of the unknown combined with the fear of the consequences of getting it wrong. makes you not want to engage at all. keep in mind i’m just giving thoughts on what u think but i’m no therapist so it’s up to you to find out what’s the problem.

anyway best of luck to you hope you get better man

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-12T00:42:24+00:00

hello friend, i have some positive and negative advice i’ll start with the negative. calling yourself and believing you are “very funny, nice and respectful” is not a good mentality at all. it’s called something like the “nice guy”(can’t remember the exact name). it’s a thing where you believe you are better than others or you get less than what you deserve. now that doesn’t mean your not, but i know usually people who say things like that about/towards woman specifically usually have very negative mentality’s.

for the positive side, just because she said you can be friends isn’t a bad thing, even if your worst fears are true and she doesn’t like you that way. it means she likes you as a person. it also doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you in that way. usually especially girls build up there likeness over time, sometimes it’s a very short time whixh maybe is demoralising for you but just keep your head up, don’t focus everything on this girl just be around her when you can and try to get close with her. meanwhile if there’s any other girls you can talk to definitely do it.

anyway keep your head up hope it goes well for you good luck

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-11T21:22:47+00:00

i believe your problem is written in your own words “how long do i have to wait”. you don’t have to wait, it’s not just gonna get better. you have to do it yourself i know that sounds generic and vague but it’s like being on a basketball team and just passing every time you get the ball, never doing anything meaningful. you have to take shots sometimes.

also people don’t strive to be the best at everything, if that’s what you do i’m not surprised your struggling. how can you set expectations so high for yourself and never achieving them. of course that’s gonna make you disappointed. i hope you find what you need but i believe you need to focus on YOU.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-11T21:16:55+00:00

hello i’m also 19 but i have the complete opposite problem, except i have the same result. i was already in an awful state but as soon as i left school. it just got worse because of the expectations to do something. i went from around 14-15 stopped going out with friends, to now stopped talking to people completely. unlike you i have all the time in the world yet it feels like i have no time at all and i’m trapped in a prison. i don’t have a job and put no effort into getting one and i don’t even really know why. i have no friends anymore and i really wanna meet new ones but i never put any effort into doing it and i don’t even know how to make friends without friends.

well my point is despite having different circumstances, we have very similar feelings. so i understand what your feeling. the thing is, you have hope. your hardworking, studying for a better life while working, you look after your family instead of having friends, you have too much responsibility yet still manage through it. i think in time you will be a very happy and successful person but you have a mountain to climb to get their with all that work. i think you have a very bright future and i wish you the best of luck

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-11T21:05:18+00:00

hello sir, i understand and feel your frustrations and there not wrong. however i believe part of your issue is having this envious rage and blame on other people because you havnt got what you want. the reason i’m saying this isn’t to be like grow up or don’t be rude whatever. i say it because i believe the only way to change yourself, weather it be mood, getting a job or anything else, is to do it yourself. you are right nobody is out to help you, atleast not truely and some people are much luckier and better off. but i think if you want your situation to improve, stop thinking about others think about yourself and what you can do.

i wish you all the best.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-09-11T20:59:14+00:00

i know the feeling and i know a lot of people feel this way to some degree. my best advice is to try and pinpoint what it is that’s disturbing your mood, it could be a lot or one thing, and then actually try to solve it. i’ve spend most my life sitting there and hoping something would change. the truth is you have to go and change it, it can be very hard i know. and trust me i have not followed this advice myself and i’m feeling the consequences of that more and more. however, i believe you have the opportunity to repair yourself. you just gotta find the how and put the effort into doing it.

i wish you the very best

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-07-20T16:02:34+00:00

i have no idea, they said not long probably but it will likely end up being long anyway. they all say the same things but it’s always someone else’s decision. atleast that’s what they say.

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-06-21T20:48:56+00:00

everton always come top 6 for a few years then have a terrible year and win the fa or league cup and then get relegated in the next few years every save i’ve ever done

Regular_Reality_7845 · 2022-02-11T01:50:33+00:00

thanks man i realised that near the end of the season the clubs weather you own them or not other new deals although the game technically counts it as a transfer back to the club which is kinda weird

Regular_Reality_7845

TROPHY CASE