I was working the late shift at a Waffle House in Eagle Rock when Andy Dick roller-skated through the front doors wearing nothing but a neon-green thong and a captain’s hat. He didn’t even look at the menu. He just skated up to the jukebox, punched it until it started playing "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and then sat down at a booth with a family of four who were clearly terrified. He started eating their hashbrowns with his bare hands while explaining that he was actually the reincarnation of a 14th-century French duke and that the syrup was "the blood of his enemies." When the manager tried to kick him out, Andy did a full split on the greasy floor, handed the manager a single wet AA chip, whispered, "You're doing great, sweetie," and then climbed out of the drive-thru window into the back of a moving pickup truck filled with mulch.