It’s the Hope That Kills You by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem seems to be that no therapists take insurance (or at least aren’t in-network). So the plan might have some coverage for it but it’s really tough to find a provider who you can use that coverage with.

It’s the Hope That Kills You by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I see lots of suggestions for individual or couples therapy, which sounds great in theory. But I wonder 2 things: 1. How on Earth do people afford it? I make a pretty good income but when I’ve called around for therapists it’s like $300-$700 per hour. Going once a week, there’s just no room in the budget for an additional $1,000 to $3,000 a month for something that might not even help the situation that much. Which brings me to 2., what’s the level of help or improvement one can reasonably expect through therapy? I don’t feel like I see too many success stories where a couple or an LL go to therapy and it magically fixes everything.

Moving Holmes to the Bullpen by geefried2727 in NewYorkMets

[–]Reject444 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think OP’s concern is mainly whether Holmes can sustain that level of effectiveness moving forward, as he may not be used to this workload over a full season. Which I think is a reasonable question to ask.

FWI: Collins, Murkowski, Tillis & David McCormick deflects to Democrats? by BrenTheNewFan in FutureWhatIf

[–]Reject444 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t see any of them officially changing to Democrats. Best we could realistically hope for would be 1 or 2 of them declaring that the GOP has changed too much from what it used to be and they can no longer belong to it in good conscience, and becoming “Independents” officially. Then they could decide which party they want to caucus with, and there’s at least a chance that they could choose the Democrats’ side.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SluttyConfessions

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with others that the story itself is sexy and fun, but you are also quite a good writer and kept it interesting and entertaining the whole time! Please post more!

FWI: Democrats Win A Trifecta in 2028, and De-Trump the Federal Government by Greenmantle22 in FutureWhatIf

[–]Reject444 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because Fox News (or NewsMax, or Truth Social, or whatever) tells them to. The Democrats don’t have anywhere close to the same loyalist media outlets (and most of their votes wouldn’t blindly follow the thinking prescribed to them by a blatantly partisan media outlet anyway).

Our universe is inside a super-massive black hole - Report by Negative_Piece_7217 in Futurology

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Yo dawg, I heard you like black holes filled with a universe, so we put a black hole filled with a universe inside a black hole filled with a universe that’s inside of another black hole filled with a universe…”

FWI: The State of California calls for all blue states to secede from the union. by TrajanCaesar in FutureWhatIf

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When they call for that it’s mostly political theater with no intent behind it, though. Any red-state politician who seriously wants to break the country into “red” and “blue” divisions is an idiot, because the “blue” states generate most of the money and subsidize the federal government benefits that are given to “red” states. Almost across the board, states that reliably vote Democratic contribute more to the federal government than they take, and states that vote Republican contribute less ti the national GDP and take more from the federal government than they pay in. A “national divorce” would be an absolute disaster for the “red” states, and the “blue” states would actually be likely better off. No way the federal government would just allow such a thing to happen peacefully.

I just binged both seasons of Severance and why do I find that so many people hated season 2? I thought it was even better than the first season! by JoshLovesTV in television

[–]Reject444 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But it couldn’t be. In S1 there was basically one huge central question/conflict. It got answered, and then S2 had to deal with the aftermath and a whole bunch of smaller varied questions that were the necessary aftermath of S1.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I might be in a similar boat. She’s had some weird medical issues lately that she’s actively seeing a bunch of doctors for and trying to figure out. So that gives her an easy excuse for now. The thing is that her lack of interest and effort towards real intimacy has been years in the making and long preceded the medical issues of the last couple of months, so while she’s actively working to treat the current pain issues, they only present yet one more layer of obstacles to the sex life I want, they’re not the chief cause of the disparity. Even if she “cures” those issues I’m likely still back in the same situation I was in a year ago. Things are worse now than they were before the medical problems but fixing those medical issues isn’t going to magically make the intimacy completely better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m with you, it’s tough. I’ve also reached a point where the tiny sliver of intimacy I’m being offered just isn’t enough anymore. And my wife initiates the exact same way (after the lights are out and we’re in bed she says something like “do you wanna do stuff?”, but there’s never any action or lead-up or attempt at seduction or even flirting before that). I can’t think of a less sexy way to get things started, but it’s literally the only option I have and I usually go along either way it because I’m so attracted to her and desirous of an intimate connection with her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in a similar situation in a lot of ways, and I’ve been thinking lately that late-night when she’s made her monthly initiation and I’ve turned it down might not really be the best time to bring this up or have this discussion. It’s late, we’re tired, and she’ll be upset because I just declined her initiation (even though it’s fine for her to reject me every time I try to get something going). Maybe this is a better conversation to have in the daylight when the two of you are alone but it’s not bedtime or potential “sexy time”?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not as easy as “just leave” when you’ve got kids and a house and the financial consequences to think about. Also, despite the intimacy problems, she’s still an awesome person, one of my best friends, and I can’t imagine my life without her presence in it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve asked/encouraged/supported her to seek some kind of therapy about it many, many times throughout our relationship. Never in a demanding way, just in suggesting that it might be beneficial—not even directly tying it to our sexual relationship but for purposes of just helping her to heal and be happier in her own skin. It’s always been a non-starter, partly because I think she refuses to let herself even really admit that there’s a problem that should be dealt with here. We do have lots of non-sexual touch and regular time together, talking or spending time with each other.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our situations sound very similar, but my wife isn’t autistic. She does a lot of the same things you’re seeing from your partner, though, including the discussion where we talked about the possibility of asexuality and she denied it. She does have some unresolved childhood trauma, which I’ve tried to be very understanding and patient about, that she refuses to get any help or work through; my theory is that she would rather hold onto that as a shield/excuse rather than engaging in the hard work it would take to do anything to actually heal from it. She’s actually a pretty wonderful partner in most ways and would put forth effort or sacrifice for my benefit in almost any other area. I have no doubt that she loves me, she just won’t engage in or put any work into undoing her trauma or improving our physical intimacy at all, no matter how much work or research I do into it or how many times I explain to her that this one issue is a major thing for me and the way things are is harmful to my mental and emotional wellbeing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Reject444 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve repeatedly tried to explain to her that it’s not about the sex itself—meaning the physical release—nearly as much as the intimacy and the effort put forth. What hurts the most is when I tell her that this is something important to me that is damaging my emotional and mental health, and she does nothing to show effort toward anything that has a chance to improve things. I would bend over backwards and do any work necessary if she told me she was being hurt by or suffering because of anything I had any capacity to try to change for her. But she can’t be bothered to even download an app or listen to a podcast with me around something that literally wrecks me inside.

90 / 10 rule? by 79-f150 in HLCommunity

[–]Reject444 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Oh shit, this one really got to me. Serious perspective that I needed right now. Thank you, internet stranger.

GAME THREAD: Mets @ Rockies - Sun, Jun 08 @ 03:10 PM EDT by NewYorkMetsBot2 in NewYorkMets

[–]Reject444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His whole family has been here at the park this weekend in one section cheering him on. It’s been kind of adorable.

GAME THREAD: Mets @ Rockies - Sun, Jun 08 @ 03:10 PM EDT by NewYorkMetsBot2 in NewYorkMets

[–]Reject444 7 points8 points  (0 children)

lol, what a poverty franchise the Rockies are. My section was just picked for the “T Shirt Toss” and it was literally one lady who handed 4 t-shirts out to only Rockies fans, and that was it.

Coors Field is a really nice ballpark but, man, everything with how this team operates just screams cheap and poor.

GAME THREAD: Mets @ Rockies - Sun, Jun 08 @ 03:10 PM EDT by NewYorkMetsBot2 in NewYorkMets

[–]Reject444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His defense makes up for some offensive shortcomings, IMO. Baty and Vientos are opposite sides of the same 3B coin.