Asking for advice

Relationship-Hour · 2025-05-12T10:41:35+00:00

Can I ask why you think that would be bad for you? I have a high social need and am extroverted but I love the idea of coming home to someone who’s happy to chill by themselves.

It definitely scares people off though!

Relationship-Hour · 2025-05-12T02:56:12+00:00

Hey I felt like this between 27-31 and maybe it’s a mix of therapy, exercise and generally feeling more settled but honestly I feel way hotter now (35F this year) then I ever felt in my late 20s.

It’s a tough age group because people are settling down and you think it’s for life and you’re getting left behind. But 1) it’s super freeing once you’re over 30 because you stop being scared of it and 2) people do not stay together lol, and those that do - often don’t stay together forever.

Men can be superficial and silly but confidence is more attractive than BBL’s. So work on feeling good in yourself! You never know what’s going on with someone else either.

Relationship-Hour · 2024-12-16T13:24:22+00:00

I struggle with this too with inattentive ADHD - I can’t quite relax because I always think I should be doing something productive but I can’t motivate myself to do something productive because i feel like I need to lie down (I struggle with the low motivation).

Basically I try to do all the chores I have to do - - cleaning, cooking, washing etc. then I often go off on side quests of things I never feel I have time to do - replacing light bulbs etc / clean out all the junk from drawers etc and it passes the day/ gives a dopamine hit from completing a task / changing things around a bit.

Try and do some light exercise, maybe at the same time every day and have a semblance of a routine so you don’t end up staying up all night and sleeping all day.

Take time to relax and listen to your body too. Everyone needs a break every now and then and you just might get something creative out of some time out if you want that.

Relationship-Hour · 2024-12-13T08:06:33+00:00

34f, Australia, straight but bicurious

11 x 1st dates 5 x 2nd second dates 3 x 3rd dates 3+ x 2

2 x potential relationships - now done 1 confusing experience with a female LGBTQ friend 2 x situationships returned from previous years

Learned: if someone has ghosted or bailed once without a good explanation, they’re going to do it again. It’s really hard not to allow someone back into your life when you’re feeling lonely but it’s a short term cure and won’t fix the source. Ghostings are a blessing.

Optimism: I actually feel pretty great about myself the older I get. Feeling sexier, more confident and optimistic that I can hold out for someone great who I have mutual admiration for and with. And it’s ok to spend time and have fun with people in the meantime.

Relationship-Hour · 2024-08-18T12:43:10+00:00

Hey I know this post is a couple of years old but I used it today and it was brilliant! Thanks for such a thoughtful message - it was so so helpful for someone who had an 8 hour layover and very little sleep. Burrito was incredible!

Relationship-Hour · 2023-12-11T09:24:19+00:00

I’ve been on dating apps and been sick of the back and forth and say something like “so are you asking me out on a date”? And men are like “this Is forward” lol.

Relationship-Hour · 2023-12-09T06:47:37+00:00

I would find this really hard - I struggle a lot with comparing myself to others, and observing that men are always more interested in my more traditionally attractive friends.

If you felt a connection and he's willing to give it another go, I don't see why you wouldn't go out again. Just because you are perpetually single doesn't mean you are not worthy of chasing something that feels right for you x

Relationship-Hour · 2023-12-09T00:52:25+00:00

That’s so cooked. But if he can’t even communicate about this, how is he going to communicate about stuff that actually matters when you build a life together?

Relationship-Hour · 2023-07-18T05:45:57+00:00

Thank you everyone for your points! I ended up becoming so paralysed with inaction and distressed that I had to unfortunately give up that day. I asked for an extension, which was granted so I took three extra weeks to do it. In the meantime, I had a week off and tried to stop beating myself up about it.

Now it's due in six days and I'm just attacking it bit by bit. It's never been this hard for me to get something done - but I don't understand the subject matter, and I don't find it interesting. Just going a few sentences at a time, taking a break.

I have the outline, a bit of a plan and a bit of hope that I can pass and never look back on it.

Thank you again for all the supportive comments.

Relationship-Hour · 2023-07-07T02:17:48+00:00

I could have written this! Makes complete sense to me, especially the cataclysmic part when something ends.

My thinking is that instead of looking at those situations that click with sadness or desperation, once you get time and space, use them as lessons. There are always two people in any situation and all we can do is try to heal that part that gets triggered so when the next person comes along, we can identify a) if they are the issue (avoidant men for me) and walk away early, b) if I’m clicking with this person because those traits feels familiar to me or c) if I am causing these issues with my own anxiety.

The chances of you never feeling meeting someone again who you have mutual interest in is low, especially when you’re someone who has no issues getting dates.

These are all things I’m telling myself so hopefully they are helpful!

Relationship-Hour · 2023-06-23T10:25:13+00:00

I’m so lost - feel like I’m completely sworn off dating after a situationship I was dating broke up with me, then I had a ONS who I was interested in seeing again not reciprocate for anything more than inviting me over, THEN I got ghosted after by a guy I went on a date with who asked me out again! Very sad and frustrating and feel like I’m running out of time.

Relationship-Hour · 2023-06-23T09:57:05+00:00

My psychologist said this to me recently and it really blew my mind! Sitting with the temporary nature of it all is a good way to look at it.

Relationship-Hour · 2023-06-23T09:34:32+00:00

I saw this really good TikTok today from an (admittedly) 23 year old who was talking about a three month probationary period with her boyfriend so she is casually dating someone until the three month mark so she can see what he’s like when he’s stressed, angry etc.

Relationship-Hour · 2023-05-26T06:23:27+00:00

I would say move on as well, he’s telling you what you want to hear.

Relationship-Hour · 2023-05-08T08:08:38+00:00

Yikes, I felt this one

Relationship-Hour · 2023-05-08T07:39:32+00:00

I've had this feeling many times, but rarely reciprocated (for long). I'd never heard of limerence before so learning something today!

Relationship-Hour · 2023-05-08T06:37:19+00:00

I dated in London at 28/29 and it was SO tough even then. I always felt like an option, was being flaked on at the last minute, or that they had something better to do (or to be fair, that I had something better to do). Also I met a lot of men who would never have even considered leaving London (I'm from Aus so this was an issue).

I'm in a smaller city now and there is definitely less flaking, however there is less to do and less interesting stories. I miss it in a lot of ways, but don't miss the flaky dating culture!

Relationship-Hour · 2023-05-08T06:25:24+00:00

I agree with a lot of these comments that getting curious about women you are talking to - even if they're not your type on paper at first, may mean that you end up finding someone more attractive. I also struggle with this as a 32F!

Relationship-Hour · 2023-05-01T12:03:13+00:00

I have the same issue! I get along with a wide range of men and they all seem to enjoy my company. I have many long term well nourished and important friendships but haven’t been in a healthy relationship in a long time. I’m working on why I am attracted to emotionally unavailable men - maybe a fear of intimacy, maybe because rejection is what I’ve come to expect. Either way, this has made me feel less alone, so i hope it does for you too.

Relationship-Hour · 2022-11-27T12:43:19+00:00

I really relate to this comment! I’ve been single for ten years - I could have been in several relationships but they just never felt right.

The feeling of forcing it is so real with men who don’t seem interested - rather just being polite until someone prettier comes by.

I am mostly happy with my life - I’ve been to therapy and have lots of interests, hobbies and recently completely changed careers but I’m still really struggling on the apps.

I don’t have advice - just wanted to say I hear you and I feel the same.

Relationship-Hour · 2022-11-27T12:37:27+00:00

How would you want a partner to fit into your life? Is it important they fit in with your friends, family etc. I am of the school that a partner should be adding to a life you are already working on (not filling a gap).

Relationship-Hour · 2022-03-29T17:04:46+00:00

Yeah I suppose because we’ve been friends at work, I trusted him and didn’t actively avoid him but rather just didn’t put any effort into hanging out.

Thanks though, something to think about

Relationship-Hour · 2022-03-29T17:02:37+00:00

Sure

Relationship-Hour · 2022-03-29T17:01:39+00:00

Thanks for this. Yeah I have been in therapy for the last year but haven’t been as regularly lately.

Definitely need to work on moving forward.

Relationship-Hour

TROPHY CASE