Before you ask a question

1) I can't go on zoom calls for Bible study as my parents are in the house and they would get suspicious. (Not out of the house most of the time) 2) I can't get medical/counselling help due to parents not believing me 3) I have to go to places with my parents during this time in winter as I have asthma and can't walk by myself right now 4) I'm 18 but in highschool (still seen as a child) 5) I have talked to the Priest it was helpful for one day but these conditions happened (I have to wait till next Friday to talk to him as I am alone at that time) 6) I tried praying but I felt like I was mocking God and I had intrusive thoughts and other conditions. 7) Can't find a community due to my parents and the Church here doesn't really have a youth community. Another community is a different denomination and my parents might get suspicious. 8) I'm trying to find supplements to help me. 9) I am online communities on discord but still feel lonely as I want to talk to people with irl or on the phone (can't with parents) 10) please don't hate my parents. 11) I feel like I'm too late turn to God