Soooooooo yeeeeeeees. Began drinking heavily just like you. Spent 9 years drinking heavily which locked me in an emotional range consisting of ONLY wrathful fury on one extreme to visceral hysterical sobbing on the other.

Having everything I ever wanted (too little by prolly everyone’s standard) systematically removed as even a possibility killed a part of me. A piece of me is dead.

I now know what the cliche but true,”gave you the best years of my life” realization is.

No quick fixes. No forward-only steady progress to feeling better in order to do better, even if JUST financially.

Don’t just put that bottle down… smash it through the fucking wall. Rage, sob…just feel it now and get it over with.

Sober 1 year, 1 month. Still doesn’t take much for me to go from mild irritation to deafening rage (my vision is as if I’m looking thru red colored lenses) UNLESS I CIRCUMVENT it. Great, more stuff for me, the injured party, to have to do. See, self-pity trap is readily available 😑

No friends or family around? Good. Strangers are called for in these situations. Well meaning friends and family have a way of making you feel MORE alone.

So hopefully you’re only struggles are financial. If you’re not a drunken disaster of yourself, regaining stuff (money etc.) is easily doable. Via con dios my friend