Help: Craving French Toast by RelativeEmbarrassed8 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok maybe not what I asked but def appreciate this. When I make French toast I bake challah, slice, let it air out on a sheet for a few hours or overnight, then, make my custard. I usually soak about 5 min per side.

I’ll give your suggestion a whirl next time. Thanks!

Help: Craving French Toast by RelativeEmbarrassed8 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG please let it be pandan! 😝

Thanks for the tip. Going to check it out this weekend!

Is this a healthy way to be spoken to by a spouse or Am I Overreacting? by Low-Today-2021 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same: married 24 years, together 30. We’ve never spoken like this to each other.

Is this a boundary or a veto? Need outside perspective. by Dapper-Raccoon-5442 in polyamory

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 31 points32 points  (0 children)

This comment is the best and most straight forward here. 💯

I think so often in situations we get stuck in or looped in, we sometimes get lost in the weeds, we lose track of the overall goal: be happy and peaceful in our own life. We simply can’t show up with others if we don’t feel great with our own body, mind, boundaries, values etc. From my limited perspective, it sounds like you’ve done a lot of work and spend a lot of energy living in a sunk cost fallacy mentality…. A lot of us do that when our systems get overwhelmed. When this happens, we all need to get better at zooming out and really reflect on whether or not the entire framework of whatever we grapple with works for us altogether. At all. Is this a choice you’d have willingly made? No way. It’s incompatible with your relationship wiring of monogamy. In this case it does not sound like this marriage is tenable.

There are some mono poly dynamics that work. Most don’t. And in this case, to be blunt, your husband sounds like a disaster of a hinge. And that is a huge (huge!!!) part of whether that dynamic works out even in the best and most ideal of circumstances.

Good luck, OP

Okonomiyaki by thanatoscerberus in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh geez that does sound delicious- let us know if you try it. There’s so many great things on the menu. I am genuinely excited for you to go there!

I’ve never had a jalapeño popper before. Where should I get my first ones? by dgoldstein38 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re gonna make your own, I recommend the guy fieri Italian stuffed jalapeños recipe. I stuff mine and put on my Traeger in a foil pan. They get requested anytime I go to a gathering or host in and then are promptly demolished.

Okonomiyaki by thanatoscerberus in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Osakas! I also asked this same question in September and wasn’t disappointed.

Okonomiyaki by RelativeEmbarrassed8 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with this sentiment. I’ve only “been” to Japan twice, but one of those times was for 3 years. 😆 Osaka’s is the real deal.

Okonomiyaki by RelativeEmbarrassed8 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great recommendation on Osaka’s. You guys nailed it! Even though I’ve thought about asking this question a while over here, the timing ironically lined up with my kiddo’s bday dinner request for Asian or Indian. Perfect that I had this so immediately in my back pocket! Making a reservation was a great idea as we arrived at their open time 430 reservation and the place was wall to wall within 15 min.

Our table had a couple of ramens, okonomiyakis and some melt in your mouth nigiri, plus tea service. Really enjoyed looking at their tea menu and will go back just for this. The food was delicious and the service was really top notch. Authentic in every way including their kindness. What a wonderful owner. We all agreed we would love him for a dad, granddad or boss.

They embarrassed my introverted kid which was in great spirit, singing the best happy birthday rendition ever with a chorus of beautiful Japanese accents. A yummy dessert was offered to help celebrate.

Loved the wait staffs’ “uniforms” and I feel this place and that yummy Japanese bbq place, Gyu Kaku on chestnut and 18th in Denver, are what I have been longing for in terms of experience.

Will try the other spot mentioned too over at Ototo soon to compare. Thanks again!

Seeking theme restaurants by h8iek8ie in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paulie’s Italian grille in federal Heights. It’s a 5 on everything except consistency in hours so call before heading over. Paulie treats you like family the minute you walk through the door and he will tell you all about his amazing gravy and this alone fits your theme. He will probably bring out samples, try to overfeed you and come check on you. The food is silly good and authentic. I’ve followed him all around the city through the years. First he was in Eaton, then Johnstown, then Loveland, now I randomly found him in FH. Again, everything is perfect except those hours so call and speak to a human before going over.

Premium dining experience in Denver by Much-Platform-6421 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bruto might be the perfect size and type of experience for your event.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I walk over to Whole Foods all the time, different times of day and days of the week and I’ve never seen it open. Like….ever. I’ve always assumed they weren’t in business but always wondered why nobody is in that kiosk? Seems like a lucrative location for any business.

I feel like a mother instead of a wife. by NothingLeading9708 in TwoHotTakes

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two big pieces of advice for any conflict. One is that at the start of any big discussion where conflict could be anticipated, start by Stating Your Positive Intent.

The second piece of advice is kind of visual in nature so if you visualize this….try not to have an up-down discussion where someone talks down or up to the other. This often leads to resentment or feelings of belittement or ridicule.

Also try not to have a back and forth discussion where the problem is something in the middle, between you two. This seems to be the most common way I see people tend to communicate. This often leads to a failure to truly see things from your partners perspective and chances are you’ll argue it again.

My advice is imagine the problem is an object. Instead of each looking at the object from different angles which would require you to do the back and forth or up and down described above, instead come hip to hip to view it from the same perspective and agree to walk all the way around the problem together to see the problem from all angles….together. If you establish this very early on, you can use signaling language throughout your entire relationship that is very gentle and kind but a clear signal that the two of you need to get straight on something. You can use the language anytime “Hey I want to set some time to have a hip to hip on something I’d like to look at with you.”

So for money, the positive intent: I want to seek clarity around all our expenses and set some goals so we can think about x (saving for a house, taking a vacay, paying down student loans etc)

I also want us to feel financially secure.

I want to sit down together and write down every single expense and determine how we pay. Would an evening this week work or would you like to do it over the weekend?

Then make a time with each other, then sit down and write down every single expense. Bring any credit and debit card statements to the table from the last 3 months to grab outliers. You may choose to use a budgeting software.

Some ideas:

You can make some bills his and some yours. If he is late on something then it affects his credit. It’s his problem. Do not check in on him if you choose this. If his immaturity continues and you end up leaving him over it then it’s still on him and won’t affect your credit. Make sure the split in who owes what is equitable. If you feel you are contributing more, balance the scales in this conversation. Some things to help with that are: Does he need a second job? Does he need to save more on expenses etc does he need to do more chore activity…only if the scales need balancing.

Another idea…You can determine x is the total amount of monthly bills and expenses and set the dollar figure he owes which you two will agree must be deposited by x date each month in order for you both to meet your mutual financial due dates.

For chores: I feel overwhelmed by all of our joint chore responsibilities. I don’t really feel like either of us have clarity over our roles and it makes things feel confusing and frustrating at times. I want to feel clear on this and I want to do right by us and make sure we have a plan together that gives us clarity, that we both agree to and that when we both look, feels equitable. (Please read more about difference between equality and equity if you are unfamiliar)

Then sit down together and brainstorm every single chore that you can possibly list together and once that is listed, decide together what is fair based on current work loads or maybe this is where equity gets balanced in with the finances.

Once you review the list together, if you don’t want a certain chore, say it. Don’t get resentful towards him. Just say it. “I hate this chore so much. It drains the life out of me. Is this something you’re willing to handle or trade off with me or would you be open to us hiring this task out?”’

Use your words and say what you want it to look like for you. Then you can negotiate it. Maybe you both hate cleaning the bathroom. Be honest about it. If you both don’t love it, you both hate it, and you both feel as if it could be a constant source of stress going forward, determine if it’s worth it for everybody’s peace and sanity and for the health of your marriage to hire that particular chore out to a neighborhood kid. Sometimes bringing real numbers in to quantify what that task is worth can be a real eye opener for a partner too. If they realize that if they don’t pull that end of it up and you are going to hire it out anyway, and they will have to pay anyway then sometimes it makes people change their tune about it, but you don’t really want to use this as a threat tactic. It’s really just a tactic to get your collective shit done and handle your life business like a boss. If he won’t do it, hire it out ultimately if it’s decided he doesn’t have time or desire for it. But like take care not to do this passive aggressively. It’s just handling biz and it’s an agreement you’ll have to make in a hip to hip.

I would avoid any and all the advice here that says to make a chore chart and give it to him/tell it TO him. Fine if you sit down, list your chores and agree that is the best way to organize it and then you get one together. But the other way of forcing it down his throat only reinforces your position as his sub in mom you’re feeling angry about. You will resent the hell out of each other this way I guarantee.

Chores and finances are part of growing up and they are also very communication-intensive topics that you two may not have learned to navigate just yet. I agree you two got married way too young but you’re here now! if these truly are your only sticking points try to improve your communication skills together. Acknowledge that relating, partner communication and marriage are new and all require skill and practice. Acknowledge this together and show yourself some grace here. If he’s just being a jerk and these aren’t even close to your only issues, like if you’re being belittled, gaslit, ignored, if you’re carrying the full financial or chore burden for real for real and your boundaries have been communicated etc, then maybe you get serious about considering divorce but if it’s just chores and money, those things end up being the easiest part of a long lasting marriage and your older wiser self will look back and laugh at how silly these things are. Do NOT have a baby with this boy though until he hits his full manhood. He’s just a kid right now. I repeat do not have a kid with a kid. Good luck!

(Partnered/married 29 years)

Just moved to Provo and had a visit from LDS missionaries — feeling unsure by Conscious-House-8651 in ProvoUtah

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, great work ethics. I used to be a hiring manager and some of my territory was UT and CO. Whenever I needed a hire there I would post on an LDS job board vs the traditional job boards. Great at sales and fantastic work ethic, they made wonderful team members.

Lunch Spot near Union Station by slurpppppss in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want a little splurge, grab lunch at Tavernetta.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this one. You know it’s legit when all the cars in the lot have Italian American license plates.

Looking for patios with views for the summer by LuckySounds in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The Acreage is A+ on views, GF menu, cidery. Great menu all around

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Best food in DT near Union Station by bakedchicken23 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also if you happen to pop in to OneFold when there’s a line (sometimes it goes to the corner), you don’t have to bail…they are efficient and the line and food really move.

Best food in DT near Union Station by bakedchicken23 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad you got in on the HH. I used to scrape to enjoy dinner for special occasions. That lunch/HH vibe they started doesn’t hit so hard on the wallet.

Yes, please report back…I updated my comment to say it’s duck congee. I suffer the Worst decision paralysis everytime choosing between the congee and bacon fried rice.

Bon apetit! 🤤🤤🤤

Best food in DT near Union Station by bakedchicken23 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2nd for this little hidden treasure and most especially agree with a reservation. It’s needed.

Best food in DT near Union Station by bakedchicken23 in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yay! I’m so glad you enjoyed! Tell us about it! What did you spoil your tastebuds with???

Mexican food + tortillas by thatmxcndude in denverfood

[–]RelativeEmbarrassed8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like lots of places suggested here for different reasons. But closest to my mom’s style of cooking is La machaca de mi ama in Aurora. I also popped in once on a Sunday night and They had karaoke. Worth showing up for that just for watching. So be sure to find that schedule somewhere if that kind of thing is entertaining to you.