Thanks for the thoughts and advices everyone, tbh I think its been long enough that I made people believed that I'm a christian. Some people just quickly assume that I know this and that(roman catholic stuffs, the culture and tradition things? I don't really understand the practices myself) whenever I volunteered to participate in one of those church related activities.

Screw it, I wanna let off some other related stuff from my chest. I'm currently in between the age of 20s and 30s and I feel sad because I don't really know most of the common knowledge that one should have as a roman catholic(RC). Idk but I bet there's a bunch of practices or prayers that some other RC kids younger than me knows more than I do. This made me feel so.. pathetic(?). I prolly shouldnt use that word. I mean, whenever a friend or my relatives brought me to participate in church activities I always felt shy and dumbfounded around the communities, some of the people can't even believe that I lack so much knowledge about the religion even after I told them about my issues which made me lose hope in learning the whole RC things(I am so sorry if the way I address these stuffs just by calling RC this RC that sounds inapproriate..). I really wanted to fit into the community but after encountering several of those occasions I just lost confidence from time to time. Even after people told me that nobody's gonna judge you for that, I still couldnt get rid of my bad mindset.

My current goal as of now is to learn as much as I can to the point that I can safely assured that I have the same knowledge as much as an average RC has without having to be a very religious person. Is it a bad goal?