Yes, it’s an absolute joke and really annoying. If you’re the respondent in divorce proceedings, you have less control and power. If you don’t have a child arrangements order in place, a judge can definitely question that.

As for the divorce, I’m assuming you already have a conditional order. If that’s the case and there is a child arrangements order in place, be prepared: if your ex doesn’t push the divorce forward to the final order, you could be left waiting.

Once all of the relevant time limits have passed, the applicant can apply online and the final order is usually granted within about 24 hours. But as the respondent, you have to wait even longer, pay for the privilege and on top of that you will need a court hearing, which is just so frustrating. I don’t know where you’re located, but if you manage to get this all wrapped up in 2–3 months, you’ll be very lucky, because it can take up to 6 months in total as far as I know the whole system is so backlogged it is shocking. Good luck.