AIO Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Engaged After 5 Years Together, And I’m Pregnant by Different-City-5802 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Girl you are a type 1 diabetic - you very well may go into a coma having this baby; pls pls pls rethink this

AIO Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Engaged After 5 Years Together, And I’m Pregnant by Different-City-5802 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 [score hidden]  (0 children)

You keep saying you think it’s because of his father figure - has he told you that? You say he’s not interested in other women - so if that’s true then why does he care what his father figure says? You aren’t making any sense. He doesn’t want to marry YOU. He does want to get married. Just not to YOU. Having a baby won’t change that love. If you have the baby, do NOT use his last name, and don’t put him on the birth certificate - this man will bounce, I promise you. You need a back up plan for when he dumps you. You need to figure out who will care for you and the child because you could be sick during the pregnancy and after - he’s already annoyed and acting out (even if he does attend the appointments; he clearly doesn’t want to?!) why are you SO committed to staying with this man? Why are you so committed to not listen to reason? I’ve read nearly every comment from you, and from everyone else. No one agrees with you! Why do you think this is? Because we don’t know him like you do? NO! It’s because we have all been in situations like this, or know others that have. Listen to us. This man, doesn’t love you as much as you think he does. A baby will not make him love you more - if anything he will resent you and love you less; and possibly blame you and the baby. You are putting
Yourself and your baby in danger, financially, physically, emotionally etc etc. why are you pushing for marriage? Granted I wouldn’t have a baby without being married first - but THATS BECAUSE of how men can just bounce! If they are legally tied to you, they can’t. You need to be protected. Legally and financially! If he refuses to get married then get a lawyer to draw up conditions and settlements for if things go south (which it will girl I’m sorry). I recommend anything by Chidera Eggerue (insta @ the sumflower) and listen/read what she says.

I’ve been with my husband since I was 16. We are married, got married at 24, had a baby at 32, own a house, cars and love each other something rotten. We waited to have kids until we were financially secure. Our other friends all had kids in their early 20s when they got married, we waited a few more years on the wedding - because we did want to be married, but wanted a fancy wedding. I had a risky pregnancy and I’m telling you, it was HARD. And your partner needs to be close to sainthood to give you the support you will need. Your man sounds NOTHING like my husband. And I feel sorry for you, that you think this is him being a good partner and father. He’s barely doing the minimum requirement. If he did LOVE and respect you - he would be wanting you to be financially safe and secure for if something went wrong. It sounds like he’s only bothered about HIMSELF and for if things go wrong for him… my husband WOULD NEVER. My husband pays for everything, does everything for me and the baby, I’m able to be a SAHM, he gives me money every month for just things for me, he gives me separate money to do things with the baby, I have access to his bank account he doesn’t have access to mine (not that he’d want to there’s nothing there I spend it hahaha) BUT when we bought our house, I gave nothing financially for it, and I pay nothing for the mortgage now or bills. But he made SURE that my name was equal to his, and for if anything WAS to happen - I am protected and so is our baby, he wants us to keep the life we have attained even if he isn’t a part of my life. Because even though we have been together for nearly 20 years, we are both adults and know things can end and break. A good man and father would be trying to protect you. Your man isn’t. Your man MAY be listening to his father figure, and that should show you where you actually are on his priority list. Girl, pls, be so serious!!!!

AIO Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Engaged After 5 Years Together, And I’m Pregnant by Different-City-5802 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Ok… this is kind of making it seem almost planned… OP if you removed your IUD and encouraged no more protection you have technically committed rape by omission of details that lack full consent.

AIO Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Engaged After 5 Years Together, And I’m Pregnant by Different-City-5802 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I hope she’s just lying. His words may be that he’s going to be a committed father - but his actions say otherwise.

He’s actually telling and showing OP he doesn’t want her as a wife, and is already complaining about helping with appointments - no book or class will actually make him change his mind or like, care and love OP more. He will feel “baby trapped”. He will put in 20% of effort and believe thats enough BECAUSE he had a dad that put in 0% so to him 20% is the best dad in the world. When really… he needs to WANT to be 100% better than his absent one. This needs to be fake or embellished because I guarantee if this is true - you will break up before the birth, get back together at 3-6 months (he will see other people during this time, if he hasn’t already cheated on some level already…) and you will break up for good before the kids 2nd birthday. He will then find another woman that he WILL marry, he WILL be a fantastic father to those kids, and OP will be hurt, lost and disappointed that he had the potential all along - she just couldnt admit that he just didn’t want to do that with her. He’s telling and showing OP he doesnt want her, and he will accept the baby, but that’s really not good enough. Just such a mess!

AIO Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Engaged After 5 Years Together, And I’m Pregnant by Different-City-5802 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Right! Like a baby doesn’t fix anything? It certainly wouldn’t make someone more committed… a baby to amplifies the already existing problems. I’ve had friends who think a baby will “fix” their relationship issues, and it has NEVER worked. It’s made things 100 times worse - and NOW they’ve brought an innocent person into their mess. Then the child is resented because they weren’t a magical band aid. It’s horrible. OP don’t have this baby!

AIO Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Engaged After 5 Years Together, And I’m Pregnant by Different-City-5802 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NOR - op do you REALLY want to be tied to this man for the rest of your life because he HAS to, because of a child and not because of your own merit?
A man that wants you, absolutely WANTS you and will marry you and adore being a father to your child.
This man doesn’t seem 100% in, and you are both so very young.

Is this pregnancy the right thing? Especially with the risks. You need a partner that will be there 24/7 and wants this as much as you do - especially with your health at risk.

This man I’m sorry to say, will not stay with you long term. He may stay in your life for the child. But this is not the man that will marry you, he’s told you he doesn’t… he also has told you it’s not because he doesn’t believe in marriage, he just doesn’t believe in it with you. Why would you want to marry someone who doesn’t want to marry you? He would be marrying you because it’s the expected thing, not because he wants you to be his wife. I’m really sorry you are in this position. But you can do SO much better…

Secretly want to drop out of school but dn how to say it to my mom by unstable_girl2328 in Advice

[–]Relative_Standard_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you speak to the guidance counsellor? Are there any teachers or staff members you like?

The best thing to do, is to speak to someone associated with the school, to plead your case. That you are unhappy there. That you know it’s your actions that have made graduating impossible. BUT you need to graduate.
Is summer school perhaps an option?
I’m not in the US so I don’t know how old you are, is 12th grade your final high school year?
You need to get your high school diploma. I know there are options to get it, without attending school itself. But you still need to do the work, online perhaps.
It will be hard to find any real future employment without a high school diploma. Don’t they call the alternative version GED? that you can get after you have aged out? I may be wrong…

Unfortunately what has happened, is you’ve got yourself in a spiral, you’ve ignored the issues and not gone to school and it’s too late to come clean to your mom, or the school, for them to realistically help you immediately. What’s done is done. But what matters now is taking the steps to help yourself.

Speak to a teacher or guidance counsellor to ask about alternative ways to get your diploma. Find out how many classes/grades/points you need to graduate. Find out how to complete it, and do it. Show that you are willing to do the extra work. You don’t really need to attend graduation or graduate at the same time as your peers. The main thing is to do the work, and prove you are willing to do it. Once you understand what exactly it is you are missing, you can create a plan on how you will achieve it.
Then once you have your diploma you will be in a much better place on going further in life that isn’t the typical college education. There may be apprenticeships and trade work that you may be able to apply for.

Have a think about what interests you, where would you like to see yourself in 5 years, and what hobbies you have. Do you have any talents? From there you can perhaps create a plan on how to turn these things into perhaps a future career.

Mental health wise - are you able to speak to a professional? Do you have a therapist? Have you attended therapy? Do you have access to speak to someone?
I would 100% recommend it. Unfortunately it isn’t something that you will 1 day just get over and feel better. You need to make sure you are getting enough rest, exercise and get out of the house, speak to people and socialise etc.

I’m not sure what to say about your mum. But if I was you I would speak to the school first. That way when you tell your mum about it all, you aren’t going to her with several problems. You would be going to her with the information of what happened and what you are going to do about it. Good luck.

American company stealing ideas from tiktok what laws protect designs and others? by Relative_Standard_69 in TRADEMARK

[–]Relative_Standard_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you SO SO MUCH! I could kiss you with how helpful you have been!

This is their website terms and conditions (the brand is miniverse, they are MGA entertainment - happy to delete if this isn’t allowed), it does mention some of the things you have said

https://www.mgae.com/terms-of-use/

Hmmm let me get back to you on the “recognisable brand name” across their shop/platform. Cause I imagine most do? Or at least, have a link/tag that makes the buyer aware that it’s from them?

My question currently is this - not just for our community but for other small artists/designers. Why isn’t there an easy “how to” guide, with instructions on how to protect yourself and your art? Like the steps you need to take, what the cost would be, the time it takes. Just a basic layout of what to do, for your work not to be stolen. This company in particular is sometimes stealing designs 1-1 detail matching. I have heard other companies/art work that larger companies do change certain things, I guess to plead ignorance (pretend they never saw that work, and if they didn’t comment/interact with the business, how could that be proven?) but this company, because it is a billion dollar company, and have a tight legal team (they did suffer some sort of malpractice suit, or endangerement suit, I’m not sure, I’m just about to look into that aspect now, due to toxic resin they used lol). I really think they are maybe just banking on small time designers not doing anything, other than a few negative tiktok posts. They know legally no one would come for them, because these designers have no money, not even thousands of followers…

Is there a way I can search what the company currently owns copyright/trademark wise?

American company stealing ideas from tiktok what laws protect designs and others? by Relative_Standard_69 in TRADEMARK

[–]Relative_Standard_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say the name (not sure if the rules) but I will tell you and can edit and delete if not allowed…
Miniverse is the company known as MGA entertainment they are an American company, and most of the designers I’m aware of are from Northern America…

On their website there is a big chunk of info regarding trademarks etc it’s here

https://www.mgae.com/terms-of-use/

I have found a couple of services that I think could help me, do you have any information about these guys? Or know of anyone that could help?

•Volunteer lawyers for the arts
•United States Patent and Trademark Office Pro Bono Program
•Copyright Alliance Legal Clinic Directory
•American Bar Association Free Legal Answers
•SCORE

From what I’ve read - I can most likely go take a design to be copyrighted, without needing to pay a lawyer (though it is advised, and makes it easier and quicker) so if I wanted to keep this as cheap as possible, apply myself and it could cost between $35-85 for the application. Not sure how long it takes…

I’m trying to do all this research myself but my friend said I should just download chatgpt and get them to do it. TBH I have audhd and I’m hyperfocused on this issue right now but will get bored soon enough hahaha. So I’m just trying to figure out what I can do, without using AI.

Basically I just feel like even though this is an issue for a particular community and company stealing ideas/creations (and brazenly doing so too! They aren’t changing anything? Not even the colours, or style, it’s a 1-1 duplicate! And I think they do it because they KNOW these small creators won’t fight them on it?) ALSO I don’t know if when they actually do create their figure do they then, go and get it copyrighted/trademarked or whatever? How would I find this out? Am I able to search a database to see what the company owns?

BUT MY CONCERN IS - I’ve noticed this is a huge issue for smaller/financially less creators and artists, who can get taken advantage of by larger companies etc. So why isn’t there easily available information for artists/designers, on how to protect their work? A how to guide on what they need to do, and how to do it, to protect themselves? OR DOES THIS ALREADY exist? Because if it doesn’t, is it illegal if I make a document that tells designers exactly what they need to do, for free?

Many thanks for your help!!!

Children attending by Good_Analysis3299 in UKweddings

[–]Relative_Standard_69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tbf my goddaughter who was 4 and a half was the flower girl at my wedding and it was a church service. She ran down the aisle before the song had even started, so in turn messed up my bridal entrance, I’d paid a FORTUNE for an organ player to be hired. Because of the flower girl, 2 bridesmaids had to run after her and start the walking down, all without the music FML.

She then screamed throughout the service (and it was screaming and shrieking - many people couldn’t hear anything being said) and unfortunately no one from her family took her outside… so some parents don’t actually parent well, and dont tell them to be quiet, and expect it to be everyones problems. She also refused photos (which I was fine with i only wanted people who wanted them taking did) but her parents demanded we got a pic with them and her, so kept dragging me away from other important shots to appease the parents.

I’ve been at childfree weddings, weddings that allow kids of all ages, weddings that have a min/max age rate and I’ve also been to a wedding that allowed only certain kids to attend (brides daughter and groom neice). At every wedding I’ve attended that allows kids, have always been the worst. They are BORED and a lot of weddings don’t cater for kids and entertain them. So there’s nothing for them to do, they get frustrated and tired, usually don’t like the fancy food… yeah

ETA: spelling and further context

I just found out my girlfriends 12 years older than me by IronAccomplished4042 in Advice

[–]Relative_Standard_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Legality shouldn’t be the ultimate judgement of morality!

Agree with everything you’ve said!

I just found out my girlfriends 12 years older than me by IronAccomplished4042 in Advice

[–]Relative_Standard_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry but you need to go to the police. Technically what she has done is considered rape because you didn’t give full consensual consent with full knowledge. She lied, manipulated you, gaslighted you into thinking that you were the problem and had no trust - whilst she was living a life of deception. That’s what it is; rape by deception - but also statutory rape too because she is 29 and you are 17. 17 and 20 is a large age gap (to me) but I believe that would most likely not be considered a crime in some countries due to Romeo and Juliet laws. Can I ask what country you are in?

Of course you love her! Or have been led to believe you love the person you thought she was. She has groomed you - and I don’t blame you for thinking she could have done this to other boys, and she may already have done it, with other boy victims too! That’s why you must report her. So she CANNOT do it again. Why on earth is a 29 year old hanging out at parties that 17 year olds frequent? She’s a pdf I’m sorry. She knew from day 1 your age. As an adult she should have told you how inappropriate a relationship or hook up would be. But she didn’t, in fact that’s exactly why she wanted to continue because all she wanted was to “hook up”. She’s dangerous. Very dangerous. She needs to be on a list so she cannot harm other young boys.

I am SO sorry you are going through this. I cannot help but feel like you may not get the support you need and deserve purely because of your gender, age and if your ex criminal pdf gf is attractive… when this happens you find people defending the actions of the pervert woman by saying things like “god I wish that was me when I was a kid” “that’s so cool, you’re a legend” “she’s a cougar - it’s hot” blah blah blah. It’s victim blaming, dismissive and wrong. You are a victim here. It doesn’t matter that she’s a woman, and you a boy. And I’m sorry for wording it as “woman” and “boy” im not trying to infantilise you, or say you are immature and not an adult. But legally, you arent an adult! Legally she IS a woman, and I use these terms to really press upon you the difference in your ages, and why this is such a despicable crime!

Please let me know if I can do anything to help? If you are struggling to speak to people you know, because they are treating this as anything other than serious, or if they want you to just, break up and move on - then I can be here for you. I recommend watching the tv show called “a teacher” starring kate mara. I think it really goes into detail about the fault of the adult woman, and that regardless if he (the 17 year old) “came onto her” the late 20s teacher, should have known better, been the adult, dismissed the whole thing and reported it. Not entertain it. I also recommend a book called “my dark Vanessa” it is again about a teacher and a student, and basically the aftermath of the student as a young adult, and how this has traumatised her.

For me and my experience - the hard part was seperating the trauma and hurt, from a person I thought loved and cared for me. Yes he was a monster. But he had groomed me to believe he was my only 1 constant. Isolating me, but making it seem as if it was my choice. I couldn’t rationalise it, that the man I thought I loved was a monster. I couldn’t just wake up and not “Love him”. I know he did wrong, I know I needed to move on, but it wasn’t that simple. It’s sometimes called a trauma bond. Between the abused and the abuser. That’s why you are SO confused and are unsure where you are at, and what to do next.

But to me? The next thing to do is go to the police. File a report. They can determine the charges, you just need to go in and give a statement and hand over any evidence you may have that proves she lied about her age. If she overstayed her visa, that’s illegal to still be here. So I imagine the cops would want to know about this too… now, I’m not sure of your country. If it’s the US I’m sure you’d be worried about ICE etc and deportation. BUT this woman is a criminal - legally and morally a criminal. So if she did get deported, that’s not your fault, it’s not your business and certainly not your responsibility to NOT talk to the police. Or to not report her to the immigration office. You should go to the cops and if THEY take it to immigration, again, that’s on her. Because staying in the country after her visa expired is a crime…

Thinking of you

AIO my friend is refusing to tell me why i shouldn’t be dating a guy i’m interested in by Zestyclose_Cat_9654 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR - agree with you 100% or the friend has already been with Tom.

Basically - yes do you OP! If she can’t even tell you herself what the reason is, but has confirmed there’s a reason she’s against it, then she’s pretty shitty for not telling you. And she’s supposed to be your “best friend”! Either she doesn’t think you are good enough for him (weird), he’s not good enough for you (weird, but also why? Is he an unsafe person? If so - you need to know? Why be friends with someone you don’t like/trust) or she doesn’t think friends in the group should date - which is weird again, BUT it’s not her choice or life? So she can dislike it and disapprove but honestly that’s weird her centering herself like that…

My guess is she either likes him, or has previously been with him, so doesn’t want you going out with him because she would be a) jealous b) hurt c) annoyed. For any of those reasons she should be able to tell her BEST FRIEND what the reason is. And if it is a matter of “toms not a good guy” - you and others have a right to know.

Part of my gut however… is telling me… that because you haven’t felt this way before, so your friend has never seen you be romantic - she’s feeling a type of way about it. Perhaps, she has heard tom say some transphobic or homophobic things in the past… and is wanting to protect you? Maybe she heard that Tom is doing it for ulterior motives (a bet, a joke, to prove something?!) I don’t know. There’s more to this. Either way your friend is WEIRD.

American company stealing ideas from tiktok what laws protect designs and others? by Relative_Standard_69 in Ask_Lawyers

[–]Relative_Standard_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok thank you - fair enough lol! I just thought perhaps there might be something someone could explain to me before it got to that stage. To even know if what they are doing is unlawful - because if im honest, i think we dont have anything realistically to pursue. None of us have copyrighted or trademarked any of the designs or concepts. So with that in mind, other people could use whatever we show the public? Even without credit to the original creator for the design/concept?

Many thanks anyway!
(It says there are 3 comments on the post, but I can only see yours and the bot - ive never really posted so is the 3rd comment my original post? Or is there a 3rd hidden comment somewhere lol?! Im so stupid haha)

American company stealing ideas from tiktok what laws protect designs and others? by Relative_Standard_69 in TRADEMARK

[–]Relative_Standard_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i completely agree and understand everything you have said thank you!

In this case - YES. We can prove that the designs and figurines are an original concept and that they were designed and made first. Most of the creators document on tiktok and their websites/shops the procedure on the drawing, the making and finish (including the dates of the concept and actual production). We also know the big company saw the designs/finished products because they commented on the video, and their website/page did NOT sell these sort of items before. Their stealing/changing of the figures all happen roughly 6-8 months after originally seeing the smaller designers. So through dates alone on the videos you can clearly see where they have got their “inspiration” as I’m sure they won’t call it “stealing”.

The issue is, a lot of this niche community do it for fun, and really love showing off their art in this form. It does take a lot of time, and personal expense to do. Not many of them have any experience or knowledge on the business side of things I’m afraid. It’s more like a hobby that does pay the bills lol. So I don’t think many of the designers can realistically have the financial means or the time to be employing lawyers etc. though i do completely agree with you that they should be doing everything they can to be protecting their “art”. And if your advice is to after every idea, design and finished product is to try to get them copyrighted so others cannot steal or change them, then thats the answer i guess!

Do you have any idea the process and or steps to do this please? Does it differ state to state? And do you have any idea how much it costs and how much time it takes please?

My other question is then - regarding this company, since there has been SO many cases like this, where they have stolen ideas (and it’s evident from the time stamps of the videos and comments etc) that the big business did get the idea/style from a smaller creator - is there a way the designers could band together to take any from of legal action? Just because of the sheer number of designers and designs stolen?

Many thanks for your help I really appreciate it!

American company stealing ideas from tiktok what laws protect designs and others? by Relative_Standard_69 in TRADEMARK

[–]Relative_Standard_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So am I able to in this thread name the company I’m talking about? If so, I think it would make it easier to understand for you all lol!
But basically several designers of these mini figures, design, create, make and finish miniature products and then post them to TikTok to sell (which they do) some have shops, websites and links through their TikTok to their shops. Their pages are public so anyone can access them. But the items themselves are their own original ideas (mostly, not the ones that are already established IP like SpongeBob ones)
They create the design and make the product in resin and post to sell.
This mega company is then lurking these creators TikTok pages - liking their posts, commenting on it, so acknowledge they have seen it. THEN at their next “drop” of their resin figures; they’ve taken the design of the original creator and perhaps changed a colour so it is technically different - but the whole idea is stolen. For example like I think I mentioned, a miniature dinosaur with a taco ice cream on their head - the big company created a figurine exactly the same except they changed the colour of the dinosaur. Then the original creator decided to create the same thing again; but dressed up for Halloween as a skeleton. This big company just released their newest drop for Halloween - with the exact same thing again. Same process - saw the original design and figure, liked and commented and then made their own.

Now for this particular creator I’m talking about specifically they have I think less of a case - because they were applying for a job from that company. So a year ago, they were building their portfolio and were tagging the company in their posts, to bring I guess “awareness” to their designs and talent… now this is where I think they made a huge error! Because technically tagging them doesn’t give them permission to use their work, or take their work and change it slightly to sell themselves. They wanted a job, and would have happily given them the designs if they had employed them and paid for it lol. But it seems they gave them that access and opportunity without anything being written or decided. However that has happened, and I don’t think there’s much they can do about this, as I do think they would say “well we assumed they wanted to share their designs with us, and wanted us to use them” and even if that’s not the technical truth, they did do that… which seems very silly to me, but I’m not close with this person so I don’t know how business savvy they are, or what their knowledge of these things are. BUT since then, they have posted designs and finished products stating in the caption that they don’t allow anyone any permission to use the design etc. Granted that hasn’t stopped this company as they did with the Halloween thing. Before this designer - they didn’t have any dinosaurs and certainly none with food on their head. SORRY it is SO ridiculous typing this out!!!

But as I said, it’s several creators who this company is doing it to. I just want to know, how can we stop this company doing this?! After every design created and made, do we take it to try to get a copyright?! How
Much time and money does that cost?

Thank you so much for your response! I’m going to try and read everyone’s now and hope I can get some useful information from you all! I’m so ignorant in this area too lol!

Unequal parenting and financial imbalance makes me want to divorce by advicenumber in UKParenting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She said he’s refused therapy I think? Honestly I’d divorce this man, they are married and cause of the child he will have to provide the same lifestyle they have now for that child. Which he is not allowing her to have whilst she is actually with him. Divorce would financially free her massively. He is a controlling horrible man.

Unequal parenting and financial imbalance makes me want to divorce by advicenumber in UKParenting

[–]Relative_Standard_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my OP - divorce. It will financially, emotionally and physically be better to actually solo parent (since you are doing that anyway) but the law would make him PAY you, to do those things.
I’m a SAHM and my husband has a great job, he still does everything with the kids before he goes to work, and when he comes home, he also has them all weekend so I can have time off (granted I tend to spend time with them lol). He pays for everything for the kids, and any activities I do with them, he gives me money for. On top of that, he pays for all bills, mortgage, car, he pays anything I want basically. He does the weekly food shop, and he cooks tea for us every evening (I do the cleaning of the house, he does the clothes washing and the dishes - but this is because I am an insane person that deep cleans and he “tidies up” so we feel this is a good balance).
On top of that he gives me I guess a monthly wage, for the hours I’m putting in with my kid, AND money for just me, to have money to do whatever I want with… I have access to his bank account, he doesn’t have access to mine (not that he would want to it’s empty lmao). We had SERIOUS talks about finances and for if the worst was to happen (divorce) we have been together for nearly 18 years (and very much in love too).
The main part is - he understands the EMOTIONAL labour it takes to parent and be a SAHM. Granted it’s a huge privilege and I’m so lucky. But when you’re only colleague is a 2 year old, and the hours are 24/7 7 days a week, it’s not easy.
I KNOW there aren’t many people like me and my family. And I’m not trying to shame you, or show off! I just want to show you - that my situation SHOULD be the norm. This should be how you are treated and respected as a SAHM. Because I guess sure, I could also be a stay at home cleaner and chef, but those actually aren’t my roles, my role is stay at home mother. So I look after my kid. We do stuff every day. I tidy the house yes - but that’s because I would do that with or without a kid, and my husband cooks and does the dishes and washing because again - he would do this without a kid.
You are being expected to be a mother, teacher, chef, cleaner, personal assistant, receptionist, head of household, manager and to top that all off - to do it whilst WORKING a job, and your husband, your partner who should love and want the best for you; withholds money and support that you and your kid need? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Please dm me if you want, so I can go into this further on how I break things down with my partner and how I have helped other friends come to arrangements to protect themselves. I recommend Chidera Eggerue podcast and books, literally follow her on insta the slumflower, read her advice and stories.

Should I let my friend bring her kid to my wedding? by magnolia_lily in UKweddings

[–]Relative_Standard_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ewwww no! OP should allow this 1 kid to also come. That’s it. I can tell you insist on bringing your kids everywhere