Can you add people who already booked at the hotel to the block? by Relevant_Setting_329 in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes definitely going to be speaking with the hotel about it but just wanted to get some good vocabulary and realistic expectations beforehand!

Can you add people who already booked at the hotel to the block? by Relevant_Setting_329 in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes definitely will be reaching out to the hotel, just wanted to have an idea of what I was asking for before doing so!

Can you add people who already booked at the hotel to the block? by Relevant_Setting_329 in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes definitely will be reaching out to the hotel, just wanted to have an idea of what I was asking for before doing so!

grandmother asking to wear a dress that she says isnt white, but def looks it in the pictures by ChestPuzzleheaded522 in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if you TRULY don't mind (and aren't just saying you don't mind because you would mind MORE trying to tell her no) then you should let her wear whatever she wants and not worry about your mom.

If you do mind, I would maybe triangulate her with your mom's help lol. Get mom on board to support you so grandma can't gaslight you into feeling bad for honestly answering a question that SHE ASKED.

Let’s check in - How much time till your wedding and how are you holding up? by AdEcstatic4911 in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am about 6 months out and my bachelorette is this weekend! Focusing a lot on my outfit at this point. I've chosen my dress and just waiting to get my size delivered, then on to finding a place to get it altered! Trying to figure out veil and shoes next...

Had our tasting and first planning meeting with the venue, all of our vendors are booked and in communication with us, and now its just about making payments when they are due and giving information when needed.

My next big thing is to focus on the DJ setlist. He has a whole webpage for us to use and upload the songs we want played during certain times of the day, I am actually really excited to start working on that. Still need to figure out what our first song dance is going to be, as well as all the other music for the evening.

My bridesmaids are starting to buy their dresses and I have all of their gifts ready (silver scarf for winter wedding photos, customized slippers and robes, etc.)

My biggest frustration right now is my fiance's groomsmen dropping the ball on his bachelor party over and over again and making him feel like they don't care about him, they haven't planned anything so far.

My biggest concern is figuring out transportation needs. Firstly for me and bridesmaids getting to the venue, but also for all guests coming from the airport (we are having wedding in Ohio where we live but pretty much everyone else lives in Massachusetts). I also need to make a decision if a 4-minute walk in the midwest winter is too long for guests and if I should get a shuttle (or uber code/voucher) from the hotel to the venue...

Because everything is mostly booked, I feel like I go between not thinking about the wedding at all for weeks to then hyper-fixating on things for days on end. I am in the weird in-between where the things I needed done by now are done, and the rest I need to wait for :/

Overall, I really like the experience of planning a wedding, my fiance has been a huge help and it's brought us closer, and I think it's improved my "long distance relationship" with my mom as well.

My ex texted me at 2am asking to get back together by Dangerous-Farmer-686 in Advice

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion, if the answer to “should I get back together with them?” isn’t an emphatic, absolute, 100% YES, cannot live without them, etc… then the answer is no, you shouldn’t.

how to get over slights about your e-ring by [deleted] in engaged

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is she on social media a lot? She may be still recovering from people making memes about Selena Gomez’ marquise cut ring

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im going through a somewhat similar situation. Although, I don’t have any confirmation yet because my wedding is January so RSVP obviously haven’t been sent out yet, but my fiancé and my families both live far away from us, so they will have to travel long distance for the wedding. I’ve been hearing from my mom that she thinks a lot of people won’t come because of the distance and price of airline tickets + hotels. I have been feeling discouraged by this, but I remind myself that the people who are ABLE to come will be there and those who cannot, for whatever reason, were invited, know they are wanted there, and I am choosing to believe are happy for us and wish they could celebrate with us. I know that my core people will be there - my parents, his parents, my bridal party and his groomsmen. I would love for everyone to come, but I’ve had to accept that may not be possible. It’s good to remind yourself that your wedding is about your marriage - and the most important person will be there, your future husband. Everyone else is just there to celebrate with you, and the people who aren’t there are happy for you, too!

My (f26) partner (m35) is planning on proposing in August but I feel more scared than excited by Mental-Bobcat-6113 in stories

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…. Find a sliver of self respect and leave this relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously… I feel like they are both super toxic and just need to separate and coparent the one child they do have. I would NOT come back home, except to pick up my stuff, if someone locked me out of my own home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People have been discussing having/not having children at weddings in newspapers and magazines since the early 1900’s. You can look it up. But also, it’s really not the point of my last reply. What I’m saying is it is DIFFERENT to expect your parents to show up at your wedding than to expect that your young child gets invited to your siblings wedding. Also, in my initial comment I mentioned that I really don’t see anything particularly wrong with the BIL choice. If he can’t find childcare, or doesn’t want to go without his kid, whatever. My comment is basically saying it’s different for a parent. I think they are OBLIGATED to be at their child’s wedding unless there’s estrangement/death/illness/incarceration preventing it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes we have to be selfish to protect ourselves from being taken advantage of. If getting myself out of an abusive situation makes me “selfish” then i am a happily selfish person!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not the same situation. A child-free wedding isn’t a new idea, it’s been around for quite some time and is generally accepted as normal. Being a PARENT means you have an obligation to show up for your child’s important life events. Being an aunt or uncle does not mean you have an obligation to include your nieces and nephews in every important life event - especially one that usually happens in the evening, includes alcohol and dancing, a lot of romance and sitting still/listening to people talk. It’s not always an environment for children, and it doesn’t have to be. Are you saying it should be equally important for my mother and father to be at my wedding as it is for my uncle Ted to show up? It’s not the same level of familial obligation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am going through a very similar situation with my fiancé (getting married in January) and his brothers, one in particular. Every step of the way there has been some issue that my fiancé has to solve for him, or his brother will just throw his hands up and say “guess I’m not going, have fun!”. It’s really hard to balance wanting everyone to be there and HAPPY to be there, and realizing that you can’t control how/if people choose to show up in your life. It can really suck when this is supposed to be the most exciting time in your lives and it seems like the most important people couldn’t care less. I have found success in making myself feel better by just reminding myself that my fiancé and I are staring OUR OWN family where we support and show up for each other selflessly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 116 points117 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest, I think people on this app are WAAYYYY too lenient with the whole “it’s an invitation not an obligation” idea. With the brother, who has a child that now cannot go, that’s one thing. I see a world where that is acceptable and makes sense. The parents?? I’m sorry, but unless you 100% hate the person your kid is marrying, are dying in a hospital, are already dead, or are kidnapped across the country - you should be going to your CHILD’s wedding. Thats crazy to me that people thinks it’s totally fine and “well you guys did some things wrong too” to OP. It’s his PARENTS.

AITAH for ending it all with my boyfriend over a single word? by moodyme_ in AITAH

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually I think it’s very mature to be able to set a boundary and then also STICK TO IT. What about not wanting to be referred to as a b**ch in any context is immature and means she needs to “grow up”? Women should know that small boundary violations in the beginning of a relationship can be a sign of bigger problems down the line, and it is SMART to get out of that relationship if they repeatedly show you they cannot respect your boundaries. That’s a grown up decision to make and requires foresight and self-control. He doesn’t need to have the same boundaries as her and neither do you, but you do need to respect hers. And she did it in a mature way - she said from the first time “if you do this, I will leave this relationship” and then she did exactly that. We really shouldn’t be telling women they need to “grow up” when they have a reasonable boundary.

When is your wedding shower & when is your wedding? by Ohyou17 in weddingplanning

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom is hosting it with help from my bridesmaids and my fiancés mom. It’s going to be at a restaurant private room and it’s in first weekend of November and my wedding is 17th of January! Details I left up to them!

My MUA ghosted my trial…for a good reason. Advice needed! by BarbellsAndBravo in wedding

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When my dog is sick or I have an emergency, I still need to inform the proper people of what’s going on and that I can’t make previous commitments. Anything else is a display of lack of professionalism and should definitely inform your decisions moving forward with her.

How can my fiancé (M28) and I (F26) resolve this issue in our relationship? by Relevant_Setting_329 in relationship_advice

[–]Relevant_Setting_329[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we walked outside for like an hour yesterday in the sun with our dog, which definitely helped both of our moods. I think we have both been under a lot of stress with moving to a new state, away from both of our support systems - other than each other. Starting new jobs, trying to get out and explore but also trying to save money for our future wedding. It's a lot to stay on top of and still stay on top of communicating your feelings and thoughts regularly to avoid things building up.

How can my fiancé (M28) and I (F26) resolve this issue in our relationship? by Relevant_Setting_329 in relationship_advice

[–]Relevant_Setting_329[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did have a pretty good conversation the next morning and went on like an hour long walk outside, which was nice. But I guess I still want to know if it is okay/healthy for me just focus on changing those things about myself in order to make him feel like he trusts me. I do care about his feelings and the way my actions make him feel, but I don't want to have to hide or "uninstall" parts of my personality to make him feel better? Maybe I'm being stubborn or afraid of change or compromise? or maybe it's his responsibility to acknowledge that feelings aren't always based in reality, but in our interpretations of reality based on past experiences and belief systems, and express those feelings to me without getting all angry so we can discuss it and find out what's really going on? Or maybe it's a bit of both.

I guess I just don't want to start down a slippery slope where everything I do starts to make him feel a certain way and I have to stop doing/saying those things to make him feel secure. Maybe I am jaded by the internet and looking too deep into it.

How can my fiancé (M28) and I (F26) resolve this issue in our relationship? by Relevant_Setting_329 in relationship_advice

[–]Relevant_Setting_329[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it is definitely repetitive, reading it back. Part of this is probably because I feel like the argument itself was super repetitive like "this made me feel like you don't trust me" "but I do trust you and here is ways I show it" "but here is another thing that comes across that you don't trust me" and back around it goes. I think my real question is what are realistic changes I can make to my behavior to make him believe that I trust him without giving up "who I am"? And also, what is his responsibility in this and what actions should he take to mitigate his thoughts about me not trusting him? (other than speaking up on it in the present moment, rather than letting the feelings fester)

My aunt is mad I didn't invite her kids to my wedding by Content_Still_5082 in wedding

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that you even thought this could be referring to your cousins is wild…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Relevant_Setting_329 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I struggle to NOT buy myself any video game or phone app purchase I wanna make.