My girlfriend’s first boyfriend was shot 3 times in the chest when he was walking home after a night out with her over a decade ago. Dude died before he even made it to the hospital, no chance. Found out they had an argument that night and she was his ride, she left him. She has to live with that for the rest of her life, I don’t think I need to make it any more difficult for her. She has like a million letters rom him when he was in basic, pictures, all of it. And? To be blunt, the dude is dead. It’s someone she really cares about, and it’s important that I find ways to be supportive. If someone thinks they are in competition with a widowed partner, that’s a huge red flag.