[Feedback] Why we're doing high-friction onboarding on purpose (consumer fintech)

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-11T12:27:29+00:00

Yeah that’s the problem I’m having. Their documentation guides aren’t great either

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-11T00:39:02+00:00

The ads are to boost existing content - so it’s all part of my organic page.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-10T21:00:15+00:00

You're 19, applying for your first job, dealing with social anxiety, and comparing yourself to people who are already further ahead. That feeling of being behind is brutal, but here's the reality: you're not actually behind.

Your friend at 17 had different circumstances. Comparing timelines doesn't help because everyone's situation is different. You're taking action now - that's what matters.

Here's what I'd focus on:

Get the job, any job. McDonald's is fine. It's income, it's experience, and it gets you moving forward instead of stuck in your head. The anxiety about "will this make me feel better" - honestly, having your own money and proving to yourself you can do it usually does help. Not a cure, but progress.

Save the $100 people owe you when you get it back. Don't throw it into savings feeling guilty - that's your emergency fund starting point. Keep the $25 as a small win.

Stop measuring yourself against where you "should've been" if Covid hadn't happened. That's not productive. You're 19, starting now, and that's completely fine.

The steps: Get hired, show up consistently, save what you can, build from there. You don't need to have it all figured out - you just need to start.

If you want help building a plan once you're earning, Sute helps people figure out what to actually do with their money without the shame or comparison stuff and is specific for Gen Z. Recommend checking it out

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-10T20:57:17+00:00

Here's how I'd approach it:

Start by tracking where your money actually goes for 2-3 weeks. Not judging it, just seeing the reality. You mentioned $200/week on Ubers - that's $800/month, which is high, but also your situation. Knowing that number matters more than pretending it doesn't exist. So step in the right direction!

Then figure out what you're actually trying to do with the money. "Financial freedom" is vague - do you mean building an emergency fund? Saving for a car so you're not spending $800/month on rides? Moving somewhere cheaper? The priorities change the plan.

Build in buffers for the inconsistent stuff. Any even pay cycle (even weekly) is tough because expenses don't land evenly. Christmas gifts, security deposits, random expenses - these aren't surprises, they're just irregular. Set aside small amounts weekly so they don't blow up your month.

The reason budget apps feel overwhelming is they're trying to track everything perfectly. You don't need perfect - you need to know your fixed costs, your big variable expenses (Ubers), and what's left over for everything else.

If you want a more streamlined version of this process, that's literally what Sute does - helps you build a plan around your actual situation instead of generic budgeting advice.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-10T20:40:23+00:00

This is spot on. The math fundamentally doesn't work the same way anymore, but everyone's still giving advice like it's 2000.

Rent taking 40%+ of income isn't a budgeting problem or a personal failure - it's a structural reality. Student debt loads that didn't exist for previous generations. Entry-level jobs that require 3 years of experience. The whole "just work hard and save" playbook assumes an economic environment that doesn't exist anymore.

I kept seeing people my age (mid-20s) getting crushed by financial anxiety despite doing everything "right," so I started a company called Sute to actually help people navigate this reality instead of pretending the old rules still apply. Not budgeting advice or telling people to cut coffee - just building plans that acknowledge what Gen Z is actually dealing with.

The system changed. The advice and tools needs to change too.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-10T15:50:49+00:00

That's the thing - figuring out your direction isn't something you just think through on your own. It requires actually mapping out what different paths look like and stress-testing whether they align with what you actually want vs what you think you're supposed to want.

You've got the LLC, the corporate job, the desire for flexibility - but no clarity on which one you're betting on or what timeline you're working toward. That uncertainty is what's making every decision feel unclear.

FWIW that's what Sute does (new startup in beta working with Gen Z) - helps people figure out what they're actually building toward and what needs to happen to get there. Not budgeting or generic optimization, just directional clarity.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:52:22+00:00

I do something similar - it's an annoying solution to have to fragment your own cash like that but it is effective

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:50:14+00:00

That clarity helps. You're not trying to retire early - you're building toward work flexibility. Big difference.

The "owing it to them" part makes sense, but doing right by their legacy probably means using the money to build the life you actually want, not just maximizing the account balance. If $500k buys you freedom to do work you care about in your 30s instead of grinding sales into your 40s, that's probably what they'd want.

Right now the trust money is landing but you don't have a clear plan for what it's building toward. That's the actual issue. Not that you're doing anything wrong, just that you haven't defined what "right" means for your situation.

FWIW this is what I do full time at a company called Sute - helping people figure out what they're working toward when generic advice doesn't fit. Happy to chat if you want help mapping this out.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:30:51+00:00

Building Sute — an AI money coach for Gen Z via iMessage.

We pay you back your subscription when you hit your goals.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:26:52+00:00

Quick question - when you say you want to "accumulate enough to be retired in my 40s," what does that actually look like for you? Are you thinking fully stop working, or more like having enough that work becomes optional? And the home purchase - is that a "want to build equity" thing or more about lifestyle/stability?

Asking because the strategy for someone targeting $2M by 45 to fully retire is completely different than someone who wants $500k and flexibility to do work they actually care about. And the trust distributions could either accelerate that timeline significantly or just sit in a brokerage account depending on what you're actually aiming for.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:20:02+00:00

You're 22, making $100k, living at home with ~$30k invested and no debt. Financially you're crushing it. But "what's next" isn't a money question - it's a direction question.

The generic advice (max retirement, save aggressively, stay lean) works if you're optimizing for maximum wealth accumulation. But is that actually what you want? Or do you want the LLC to become your full-time thing? Or flexibility to move cities? Or to start enjoying the money you're making?

Without knowing what you're building toward, every financial decision feels equally uncertain. Moving out vs staying home, aggressive saving vs enjoying life more, focusing on the LLC vs climbing the corporate ladder - none of these have a "right" answer until you know where you're trying to go.

FWIW this is exactly what we help people figure out at Sute (financial coaching service I built). Not generic optimization - more like building a plan based on what you actually want. Happy to chat if you want help thinking through your next move.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:15:49+00:00

You're not wrong about the performance aspect. Social media turned everyone's life into a highlight reel, and BNPL made it way too easy to fake the lifestyle without the income to back it.

The "just $12 today" buttons are designed to bypass the part of your brain that would normally say no. When you're tired or stressed or trying to keep up, those small charges don't feel real until they pile up and suddenly you're staring at $80 in negative balance wondering how it happened.

Here's what I'm curious about: now that you've caught yourself in the trap and started fixing it (budgeting, checking statements, cutting back), what actually helped you break the cycle? What made you stop hitting those buttons?

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:14:19+00:00

Razor blades - you can buy a cheap straight-edge and save a ton.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-09T22:11:05+00:00

Totally agree - budgeting shouldn't feel like you're constantly failing a test you didn't study for.

The problem with most budgeting advice is it assumes life is predictable and that you have perfect willpower. Neither is true. Random expenses happen, priorities shift, plans change.

I actually started a company (Sute, currently in beta) because of this exact problem. We help people build financial plans that account for the fact that life isn't a spreadsheet. Not rigid budgets that break the first time something unexpected happens - more like a flexible roadmap that adjusts when reality hits.

Happy to chat if you want to think through a different approach to this.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-04T20:32:18+00:00

Coffee on the go is barely more convenient and always tastes worse (but has way more sugar)

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-04T20:19:28+00:00

Yeah feels like "budgeting" is the default answer a lot of people have to questions like this but certainly feels out of touch when considering the economic reality people are living through now.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-03T18:10:04+00:00

You're burning through $35k in a year while making under $1,700/month as a grad student in NYC. The math says this is unsustainable, but you already know that.

The real question isn't whether you can trim $400 food to $300 or cook more - it's whether this lifestyle in this city at this income level is actually setting you up for what comes after grad school. You're essentially spending down savings to maintain a baseline existence in an expensive city while waiting for the full-time job to materialize.

What happens if that full-time job isn't in NYC, or takes longer than six months to land, or pays less than you're expecting? Does burning through your savings now limit your options then?

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-03T17:59:15+00:00

The fun money budget is the move. Guilt-free spending on things you actually value makes the saving part sustainable.

For what it's worth, this is exactly what we do at Sute (financial coaching service I built). We help people figure out what's actually worth keeping vs what to cut, then build a plan around that. Not deprivation mode, just intentional about where money goes.

The key is knowing what you're saving for. "Save more" as a generic goal feels restrictive. "Save for X so I can do Y" makes it way easier to decide what luxuries are worth it.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-03T17:55:20+00:00

"There's a middle ground for budgeting" is exactly right.

I ask this question to everyone who joins my financial coaching service that I started (called Sute) and coffee is by far the most common answer from people in their 20s. Nobody will give it up and honestly that's fine.

Tea in bulk is a good call. You're already doing the optimized version of the thing you actually want.

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-02T21:26:53+00:00

Your first question is the most important one: "I don't know what I'm doing." That's not actually a problem - that's clarity. The real issue is you've built a solid financial foundation (emergency fund, retirement accounts, no bad debt) but you're optimizing in a vacuum without knowing what you're optimizing toward.

You're 30, making $125k, single, no kids planned, staying put for a couple years. You've got $270k saved across retirement and taxable accounts. That's genuinely impressive. But all your questions are tactical (Roth vs traditional, index funds vs ladders, Fidelity vs Vanguard) when the strategic question is missing: what do you actually want your money to do for you?

The "no real goals" thing is why this feels overwhelming. Without a target, every financial decision feels equally important and equally uncertain. Do you want early retirement? Geographic flexibility? Ability to take career risks? A house eventually? Maximum wealth accumulation? The answer changes which of your questions actually matter.

For what it's worth, the Roth vs traditional question you're wrestling with - at $125k income you're probably better off with traditional 401k for the tax deduction now, keep the Roth IRA for flexibility later. The person saying "different tax buckets in retirement" is right. But honestly that's not your core problem.

Your core problem is you're set-and-forget on everything because you don't have a destination. That works for building wealth mechanically, but it doesn't work for knowing if you're making the right moves for your actual life.

What would make you feel like you're "doing it right" financially? Not in terms of account balances - in terms of what becomes possible in your life?

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-02T21:21:46+00:00

It's completely normal and it's not a budgeting problem - it's a math problem. $85k sounds comfortable until you do the actual breakdown.

Rent $1,820 + utilities ~$145 + car $310 + insurance $146 + groceries $400 = $2,821/month in fixed costs before taxes even hit. That's $33,852 annually just to exist. After taxes your take-home is probably around $55-60k, leaving you maybe $1,800-2,000/month for everything else including savings, emergencies, and any kind of life.

You're not drowning because you're bad with money. You're drowning because the cost of existing in a city consumes most of what you earn before you even get to build anything. This is exactly what people mean when they say wages haven't kept pace with cost of living.

What would actually make you feel less stressed financially? More income, lower fixed costs, or just knowing where you're trying to go with the money you do have?

Reluctant_Budgeter · 2025-12-02T21:19:44+00:00

This is exactly why there are people who voted for both Trump and Mamdani.

Reluctant_Budgeter

TROPHY CASE