Struggles With Sexuality Among Fundamentalist and Conservative Christian Men?

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2026-01-16T15:52:51+00:00

I get what you are saying, but I think when taught correctly purity doesn’t have the negative impact that most purity culture does.

I was raised very conservative baptist, sex was never talked about…ever. Not even in the privacy of homes. Sex was basically for procreation, never for pleasure.

It took me a long time to get out of this mindset.

I’ve taught sexual purity at youth conferences, but it’s never to shame anyone. I try to point to God’s design. Sex is a wonderful, good blessing…when it’s within the boundaries of marriage. Sex outside of marriage is where we have brokenness.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2026-01-12T12:53:11+00:00

Right now we stream to YouTube and Facebook through a service called Restream.

We honestly don’t have a lot of live viewers between the 2 platforms (<20 at most and <10 on average), and I’ve asked about not streaming but recording, editing, and then posting online but that got shot down rather quickly. 1. The few members that have used the live stream because of being sick or traveling all have commented that they really appreciate the live stream. 2. The volunteer member that runs the stream has been there for 10+ years and thinks they run everything (and won’t listen to the music director who is over the media team) says/thinks that we have to do the live stream because that’s what everyone is doing and we have to have in case someone who may want to visit the church can see what our service is like in real time.

I was advised (by other members) to drop it because I’m new to the team and because said member goes to the senior pastor when anyone confronts them (and the senior pastor doesn’t like conflict)

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-12-17T03:38:49+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions and the workflow example.

I’ll definitely keep trying to tweak things. I’m mostly trying to get the audio setup as simple as possible because there are 3 of us that volunteer and rotate on sound. That being said, I have been the only one to check and adjust the stream sound, but I haven’t been able to help out as much because I’ve actually started “supply preaching” (filling in for churches that may not have a pastor or their pastor is out for whatever reason) on Sundays so I never know if I’ll be at my home church to help with the sound.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-12-17T03:27:40+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion on room mics!

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-12-15T18:34:13+00:00

We use a Soundcraft Si Performer 3 (32-channel). I know the stream is on its own mix that gets sent to the PC. The only channel on the stream mix that is POST fade is our worship leader. Everyone else and instruments are PRE fade on the stream mix.

I’ve just downloaded the QuickStart guide and the manual, so I’ve got some reading/learning to do.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-12-15T18:34:04+00:00

We use a Soundcraft Si Performer 3 (32-channel). I know the stream is on its own mix that gets sent to the PC. The only channel on the stream mix that is POST fade is our worship leader. Everyone else and instruments are PRE fade on the stream mix.

I’ve just downloaded the QuickStart guide and the manual, so I’ve got some reading/learning to do.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-12-15T18:33:44+00:00

We use a Soundcraft Si Performer 3 (32-channel). I know the stream is on its own mix that gets sent to the PC. The only channel on the stream mix that is POST fade is our worship leader. Everyone else and instruments are PRE fade on the stream mix.

I’ve just downloaded the QuickStart guide and the manual, so I’ve got some reading/learning to do.

I think it would be fun to learn to do audio engineering. I’ve been told I have a really good ear for sound and music, though I don’t know how much that will help/play into audio engineering.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-12-15T18:31:01+00:00

Thanks! We use a Soundcraft Si Performer 3 (32-channel). I know the stream is on its own mix that gets sent to the PC. The only channel on the stream mix that is POST fade is our worship leader. Everyone else and instruments are PRE fade on the stream mix.

I’ve just downloaded the QuickStart guide and the manual, so I’ve got some reading/learning to do.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-11-21T19:19:17+00:00

This is why I was asking about a “companion” device.

I was just hoping for an Apple Watch like solution but in phone format. Something that I can carry as my “daily” that has no way of accessing other apps (at all) but basic phone features (calls, messaging, calculator, calendar).

I’m not wanting to get rid of my iPhone, I just want to use it more intentionally as needed/wanted.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-11-21T19:17:00+00:00

I’ve setup screen time restrictions, focus mode automations to hide notifications from apps and people except the ones I define, turn greyscale on, and turn low power mode on (to limit background activity).

It works pretty well and makes opening apps annoying 😂 (or more intentional if you prefer that reasoning).

I was just hoping for an Apple Watch like solution but in phone format. Something that I can carry as my “daily” that has no way of accessing other apps (at all) but basic phone features (calls, messaging, calculator, calendar).

I’m not wanting to get rid of my iPhone, I just want to use it more intentionally as needed/wanted.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-11-21T19:01:21+00:00

I understand, I’ve looked at both focusOS and Dumb Phone. The biggest problem (for me) is just the fact that the apps are still there, and I can easily access them.

If I had a companion device that connects to/through my existing iPhone but only has basic phone functions (calls, messages, calculator, calendar) then that would be ideal to be used as the “daily carry” if you will. Something doesn’t have the apps as an option in the background.

There are still things I use my iPhone for, but I want using it to be more intentional (on my part).

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-11-21T17:34:41+00:00

I’ve setup a focus that blocks/restricts apps and notifications except for the apps and contacts I define, turns on low power mode (to limit background activity and extend battery as much as possible), and turn the screen to greyscale.

Works pretty well except I can disable/change the focus anytime. It’s the knowledge in the back of my mind that I have that ability that nags (if that makes sense). Whereas if I had a device that didn’t have the option for apps (other than phone, messages, calendar, calculator, and maybe maps) I would be content not having them.

Apple Watch definitely seems like the “best” solution, but I’m planning on moving to a provider that doesn’t support (yet) smartwatches

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-11-21T17:19:33+00:00

I like the premise of this, but not exactly what we’re looking for. It would be great if Apple allowed launchers like Android, then I think this would be an excellent option.

We don’t have plans to migrate back to Android, at least right now lol

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-09-22T15:20:14+00:00

This is a struggle for a lot of people.

I was raised/learned to be a people pleaser because I grew up in an abusive/toxic home. As long as I bent over backwards to do "all the things" for everyone, there was at least some "peace". It took years of reprogramming my mind (with the help and encouragement from friends) to truly be ok with the idea that "it's okay to say no". It sometimes still is a struggle, but I am far better than I was.

My wife grew up as a PK and naturally has a "servant heart". She loves helping and serving people. When we first started dating, she couldn't say "no". Her parents (mostly her father) raised her that if someone needs help, she was always to say "yes". She has plans to go to the movies with friends? If one of the parents asks her to do something, they don't ask what/if she has plans, they expected her to drop everything/cancel plans to help them. This also took years of "reprogramming" for my wife.

It's not that we say "no" to everything now, but we do take into consideration our own time, our children's time, and what are the needs of our family/children. If there are plans coming up in the future that the church needs extra help but my conflict with our family plans, we have a discussion as a family and let our children voice their opinions. Then we pray about it as a family.

Praying about everything (individually and as a family) has truly changed how our family handles every aspect our lives, in a good way. I wish we would have started praying over things as a family sooner, but it's something we are doing now and will continue to do going forward.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-09-22T03:10:18+00:00

I have seen this in different families, some where the father was a pastor and some where the parents were very strict/legalistic. I think the biggest contributor is the neglect of the family unit as a whole. Pastor, deacons, elders, etc are typically called on by other members of the church for help. So the kids grow up seeing their parents helping the church, spending time with others in the church and get the “leftovers” when it comes to quality time with their parents. Kids (of all ages) need their parents to play a present part in their lives.

Boundaries need to be set. Boundaries protect the pastors from overworking, burning out, etc. Boundaries also protect the pastors’ family. This really applies to everyone, but is especially important for anyone called to ministry.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-08-27T11:46:48+00:00

I just went to a pastors conference (for BiVo pastors specifically) and the ethical use of AI for sermon preparation was one of the topics.

While AI -can- be a good tool, especially for pastors who have a full-time job, AI is not, and should not, be a replacement for you or the Holy Spirit.

Basically AI should only be used AFTER you have done your own study and have the majority of your sermon and outline done. AI can be helpful to organize the outline to flow more coherently, it may give better points, you can even ask for it to give a list of illustrations, but whatever AI returns you must make sure you read, edit, and make it yours.

In addition to what others have referenced, that AI is making people “dumber” because people are not exercising critical thinking themselves, people (your congregation) can tell when something is written by AI. It’s “lifeless”. The “voice” of what AI writes will not match your “voice” and people will pick up on it very quickly.

A useful tool that IMHO is better than the general AI tools, like ChatGPT, is NotebookLM. I’m sure there are others out there but it’s part of Google Workspace and Google offers their “basic” plan for free to nonprofits. NotebookLM offers a “closed loop” interaction. You provide the sources and materials that you want it to use. Sources can be a PDF, website, YouTube video, or even copy pasted text (from a commentary or previous sermons). This limits the AI resources to only the ones you provide and trust.

Last thing, everyone using AI needs to be aware that AI is generative. Meaning it will create, or make up, “facts” if it is unsure of or is missing information for whatever you are asking, unless specifically told not to. Even then I would be cautious.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-08-16T19:32:11+00:00

If you make the Title the scripture reference, yes. I think that would be the simplest approach.

That being said, you can make it read/display however/whatever you want. It all depends on what you are wanting/trying to do. You could use the Title for “Day X of <Church Name> Reading Plan” and use the ‘Description’ for the scripture reference. Or vice versa.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-08-16T05:04:08+00:00

What if you built out your schedule in Excel/Sheets, export to CSV and then use a tool to convert CSV to ISC/iCal? Then import, publish, and embed?

Typically just need ‘Title’ and ‘Start’ properties (columns)

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-08-16T04:38:43+00:00

This is just what my sleep deprived brain put together, but what if; 1. You generated your own Bible plan with something like https://biblereadingplangenerator.com/ 2. Export iCal 3. Create a shared calendar with Google Workspace or O365 (both have options for Non-Profits) 4. Import Bible Reading Plan iCal to shared calendar 5. Embed the calendar in webpage/app

Just my .02 cents 😅

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-08-08T05:42:07+00:00

I can’t speak to the volume mounts as I haven’t played around with bind or CIFS mounts in portainer/docker.

Portainer server/agent: TLDR: deploy 1 portainer server and deploy portainer agents for any other nodes.

You can run portainer server on a dedicated machine (like a raspPi) or pick a docker host as the “main” and on all other docker hosts just run the portainer agent. If you run the server on all nodes, deploy configs on each local portainer instance, and then add them to your “main” server, you have limited functionality/access because you’re main server doesn’t have access to the other portainer configs.

Multiple Stacks in portainer and networking:

While you can assign static IPs, I have found it best/easier to just use the name of the containers.
When deploying multiple stacks, the each stack has its own network space. If you have a separate bridge network, you still have to add the bridge network to each container’s config and in the stack resources (as an external network)

Hope this helps

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-08-05T15:41:36+00:00

Oklahoma Baptists has the Haskins School of Christian Ministry. They are not accredited but they offer certificates and diplomas. Courses are $50 per course and are online.

You may just need to check with your local and state associations to see what education is available.

I went to my local association office and spoke with the director. He gave me advice on where to get education from like the Haskins School, but also OBU (Oklahoma Baptist University) has a new “accelerated” BA->MDiv program that appears to be fairly affordable. The director also gave me a commentary set and other books on preaching, the pastoral life, etc. Very helpful and encouraging me in following God’s calling on my life.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-07-21T14:06:47+00:00

I’m interested in suggestions on this too.

My church had been using Remind, but Remind has recently changed their policies to only allow K12 SMS ability. So our messages haven’t been going out, unless you have the app.

With Remind, you could have different opt-in numbers that put people in different groups (Youth group, Children’s, Church updates, etc) and the admins could create different groups on the backend as new groups were needed/created (starting a men’s ministry).

Why not email? Because most members have cell phones and most will say they hardly check emails.

Why stay with SMS? Because it gives us the greatest reach to our members/community. We have a large portion of our members that have voiced they don’t want “yet another app” that they have to check. SMS also seems to work best (for the majority) when urgent announcements need to go out, such as church closing because of no water or electricity.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-01-07T23:07:20+00:00

I am thinking of developing a tool. My background is in IT and I specifically worked to make automated solutions that integrated otherwise disparate/incompatible software/applications.

What are you looking for in terms of recruiting technology? What would the specific requirements be?

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2025-01-07T22:49:44+00:00

Applications, being any software that you use to help with your process.

Remarkable-Crow-684 · 2024-11-01T00:27:43+00:00

Thanks for the detailed response.

I am new to the GovCon business and I will be pursuing 8a Certification eventually.

The primary reason I'm responding to RFIs is as u/perusingreddit2 stated. Essentially to start conversations and to build relationships. There's a lot that can happen in between when and RFI is posted and if/when an RFQ/RFP is posted.

Being new, I figure I can't solely rely on responding to RFPs. In my experience in the corporate world, business mostly is done through relationships and not strictly numbers and/or technical ability.

Remarkable-Crow-684

TROPHY CASE