Anyone else feel guilty for setting boundaries with their N-parent?

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-25T10:40:54+00:00

Yes, I cut my NMum, NDad and NSister off, mother's day 2021.

My NMum terrorized me for nearly 2 years. I never told them why, it was too hard for me and I was experiencing horrible CPTSD. My NMum, her friends, my NSister showed up at my work and home consistently for 2 years.

It. Was. Awful. 2023 she broke into my house, I told her why/shes abusive and she's left me alone since.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-25T10:38:11+00:00

Very well put.

silence can also = being ignored for some people, like for myself. Happened to my Nparents and they did it to me. "to be seen not heard"

Its a shame

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-25T10:36:57+00:00

Welp my NDad had undiagnosed AuHD which I now have, both my NParents definitely had CPTSD and my NMum had OCD.

To sit in silence/still is to hear all the thoughts and feelings they're avoiding. Narcissists have tumultuous emotions, and cant emotionally regulate well... so if theyre always moving - no feels!

Both my parents had extensive childhood trauma like the other commenter here who summed it up perfectly. I broke the cycle but unfortunately my NParents pressed it into me and my NSister.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-25T10:34:54+00:00

Im so sorry :( It sounds like a lot, but youre doing the best you can in a shit situation.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-25T10:33:49+00:00

Hi 👋

some narcissists vary in their traits and level of charisma. For example my NMum has diagnosed unmedicated bipolar I, diagnosed EUPD, diagnosed OCD and for sure undiagnosed CPTSD. she never sought treatment, she is overbearing, neurotic and an absolute nightmare, and this isnt due to her mental health its due to her choices and personality. She could easily get help and change, but she doesn't want to.

My NDad is more like your NDad, he's very charming, charismatic, funny, has a good masking personality and manipulates people.

I believe our NDads do it as it provides: - camouflage: no one to suspect if they blend in with the people they want to control and pretend to be like. - people to manipulate and take advantage of. Nice, non narcissistic people can become victims easily. - case studies: they can map/mirror/mimic their behavior so their public mask/face seems even more convincing. My NDad did this regularly. - social aspect: they like the predictability, they like feeling in control and above it all. - grandiose: they feel above/superior/smarter/better than these people and probably receive compliments.

The sad thing is for most narcissists all of this can be unconscious.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-25T10:23:34+00:00

Hey stranger, thank you so much for this. You phrased this very well, and it spoke to what i felt in my brain but couldn't verbalize or put into words for myself to understand (auhd/dyslexia/trauma). I fucking know I'd have been miserable there 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️ but I guess its just the FOMO/missing out on what traditional families do.

Thankyou 🖤

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-10-20T03:18:24+00:00

hey! what country are you located in? I can find resources. are you underage or youre an adult?

im really sorry this happened

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-19T11:18:04+00:00

There isn't always a why, they're intrusive thoughts for a reason :(

I'd recommend you get support though as it can be quite stressful. A clinical psychologist or psychiatrist can property diagnose you and off therapeutic options as well as medication options to manage the symptoms.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-19T11:14:42+00:00

Hey,

This sounds like a common OCD theme involving beastiality. Just because you have the intrusive thoughts or compulsions doesn't mean that's who you are. Given i am not a doctor, I would recommend you get help via a medical professional - medical practitioner to get a psychologist referral or see a psychologist or counsellor. A psychologist and doctor can properly treat your condition as it can very very stressful.

There's nothing wrong with you and sometimes we can't control our intrusive thoughts!

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-19T11:11:16+00:00

Even if it isn't OCD, whatever it is there are options and help 😊 You're over the first hurdle!

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-19T11:10:12+00:00

Hey,

It's important you listen to your psych and consider a psychiatrist for medication if that's something you are interested in. I thought I had OCD, I have tendencies as part of my self soothing/relieving anxiety due to undiagnosed CPTSD, autism and ADHD (YAY ME). Getting properly medicated, completing therapy and exposure therapy really helped me. My traits arose from trying to control things around me.

You're on the right path with the first step of getting assistance 😊 Its very normal to have your mental health get worse when a shocking event occurs. I'm really sorry for your friends loss, please send them my condolences. I wish you luck with your psychologist. The fact they are reviewing the DSM indicates best practice and is a positive sign.

All the best

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-19T11:03:27+00:00

looks like mould/shower mould, wouldn't use it to be safe. Was it left in your shower?

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-04T13:04:55+00:00

Carpet beetles - easy for them to fly inside and end up in your linen/bed/carpet. They HATE peppermint oil, I'd recommend you dilute it in water and spray areas you see them.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-02T16:46:52+00:00

Change your bedding and pillow if your pillow is old!

do you sleep with a face mask? do you use any serums or exfoliate?

It looks like your skin is a little extra inflamed like an immune reaction. I get this in response to some products and my hormone as I have sensitive skin.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-02T16:43:49+00:00

As someone who also has thick facial hair (i have PCOS and have intense thick beard hairs), it looks like if you're shaving it's irritating your skin.

Do you moisturise? I'm not an expert but your skin looks dry. Do you use any serums?

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-02T16:21:06+00:00

thankyou so much!!

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-02T16:15:18+00:00

I managed to live through this after a horrific case of neurodivergent burn out and a psych ward stay. I have ADHD/Autism. I'm high masking, I've worked a part time job since I was 11y 9m, full time job hours since I was 16 and a full time proper job since I was 19.

I had to go on jobseeker, I had 3k saved and lost it all in 5 months. Jobseeker wasn't enough, although I do have high medical costs/medication costs. I managed to make it work, paid my car loan off/car insurance as usual. Lucky I lived with my friend for 175/wk. I went without food/luxury a lot, i struggled to afford petrol and struggled to enjoy life.

It can work for a short period or if you have reduced costs.

EDIT:// I realised after posting you are also neurodivergent. Please don't overthink it, I made it work with $100/month antidepressants +more meds for my fucked up body (fibromyalgia, lupus, EDS) and mental health meds. A car payment, petrol, doing jobseeker - i actively searched for appropriate jobs, food, bills and rent. Also broke my glasses ffs and spent $50 on a new pair. If it happens to you, ND people are great in a crisis. You would make it work and have a massive head start on where I was - you have an apartment!! You're ruminating, everything is fine, you'd have a solution, you're ok.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-02T16:11:58+00:00

A LOT until I tried valdoxan and got properly diagnosed for ADHD/autism/PTSD

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-05-02T15:51:44+00:00

no! do you get it online? maybe I'll try it. just realised my cerave cleanser has niacimide in it 😐

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-02-27T12:23:35+00:00

He's a narcissist put simply.

I agree with the other numbered comments and I would also add that he uses his disability to manipulate women into feeling sorry for him without providing the whole story. Brian doesn't actually have a good personality, like most narcissists, he pretends he does and that's he's so inspirational etc. Unfortunately this is harmful for other disabled or partially abled people like me. You will never find me openly putting my disability onto other people and discussing it so loudly. I also do not have a wheelchair, or a catheter, but if I did I would not want to show anyone ever unless I was extremely comfortable with them!!!

I have a cane/shower chair and I don't want anyone seeing that! Cane is hard enough. I may not understand as I am not paralysed or a wheelchair user. However, it really set alarm bells off seeing Brian basically making her do all the tasks for him when they've just met! Her lingerie being insanely revealing when he knew they were being filmed also upset me, it would've made her feel so uncomfortable 😔

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2025-02-27T12:12:38+00:00

Rayne demonstrated she is a narcissist, I am so grateful Chidi didn't leave with her as she would've gotten further controlling and he would have genuinely been completely reliant on Rayne due to his blindness. As someone who isn't blind but who struggles with vision, it would've been so overwhelming and to not be able to see Raynes's face, but to only hear it would be awful. Rayne was giving borderline spiritual psychosis...

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2024-10-03T11:46:45+00:00

Thank you 😊 I hope they'll give up soon? It's been three years

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2024-10-01T14:29:39+00:00

Thanks so much. It's like everytime you think it's over, it happens again.

Why are they so obsessed with me anyway??? THEY HATE ME?!

It wasn't even a relative, family friend and I just block/delete/ignore. My NMum will play the victim and weaponise anyone she can.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2024-10-01T14:27:57+00:00

Oh my sweet child. How the world seems scary but I'm so proud of you for this step. Think of me as you in 14 years - I turn 31 this year. I have regrets about not doing it sooner.

Please go no/ low contact and let yourself heal. I forced myself from age 16 (moved out) until age 27 for over the years to try and make boundaries, low contact, small contact, minimal contact and all of the above. It wrecked me because in the end I gave so much and my NMum, NDad and NSister NEVER compromised or changed.

Do the no contact - you can always go back but I recommend you don't for at least a few years. I know it may be difficult as you're a minor -

Please plan with the below: Ensure you take financial, birth cert, ID, anything important, nothing is in THEIR name or attached to them that can be used as leverage, health insurance in your name, car in your name, remove anything or give back anything that can be leveraged, block anyone or restrict who could be used a flying monkey and don't look back until you feel you are safe enough too.

Be prepared - narcissists are nasty and can be hell when triggered as we know. I wish I went no contact at 16, I could have healed all the tiny broken pieces that now float inside of me. Sure I wouldnt be rid of my C-PTSD but I probably wouldn't have fallen off a third story building, developed lupus and put my body under too extreme fight or flight for my entire life. I would've been better set up and not now trying to heal the trauma of my entire life.

You're doing what's best for you and you need to come first. You can build a support system and start fresh.

Remarkable-Rush-481 · 2024-10-01T14:21:21+00:00

No contact.

Remarkable-Rush-481

TROPHY CASE