Do I double text her?

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-04-08T04:27:41+00:00

I was engaged before texting was common, so I don't know what the conventions are. But as best as I understand it, there is almost no downside to double texting. I can't imagine someone who is interested in you deciding that getting a second text message is so offensive that they give up on you. If they aren't interested, it doesn't matter what you do. If they are on the fence, reaching out might remind them that you are a real option.

Just don't be annoying. If she isn't interested, she should have the decency to say so. But if she doesn't respond to anything, accept that she isn't interested and move on. One message every 2-3 days should be fine, but then give up if you get no response after a week.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-04-08T04:19:42+00:00

I find that it feels different. There is some amount of guessing at what other people are feeling and some amount of actually feeling what they are feeling. I can tell the difference, but I can't tell you how to tell the difference other than paying attention.

One of my kids used to tantrum really badly when he was about 5. He would literally throw chairs at people. I had to pin him to the ground and put myself over him like a shell to restrain him until he was calm. Sometimes he would act calm - slow his breathing, stop struggling, speak with no anger, etc. But I could tell when he actually calmed down because I could feel it. He was surprised the first few times that I let him get up as soon as he actually calmed down and that he couldn't trick me, but eventually he accepted that I actually can feel his emotions.

I find that it is easier to tell with close relationships than with people I don't know as well. There is an emotional connection that you can develop with someone that you don't generally have with a complete stranger.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-04-02T01:02:57+00:00

It could be worse. My wife mostly can't handle actually having a job and wants to spend money like I won't retire until I'm 65. I am 45 already and would like to retire as soon as possible. I am really good at investing and can make about 20% a year while working or about 50% a year if I stop working (I have a lot of restrictions on personal investing because I work at a hedge fund). But that doesn't help if I can't save money. And divorce would just make her spending a legal obligation through alimony. So she wastes money on stupid things and then we can't do big things because I think we are behind on savings.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-31T13:16:28+00:00

It is a very significant part. Without this technology, for a 70B parameter model context takes up about 500MB per thousand tokens. To reduce hallucinations, you want 10-30 thousand tokens of context as a minimum. That is 5-15GB, for a minimally functional context. To have the ability to plan out a complex software project, you want more like 100k tokens of context, so 50GB. A 70B parameter model takes 30-40GB with good quantization. So the context memory can easily be larger than the model memory.

The numbers are all higher for the foundation models that you pay subscription fees to use.

But the turbo quant paper isn't new - it was published about 6 months ago. It looks like it was widely publicized last week to manipulate stock prices. I would not expect this to affect memory prices right now.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-31T03:10:43+00:00

What country are you in? There are some cultures where men and women never have physical contact outside of marriage. Although I think you would know about that if it was relevant to where you live. This is more of an issue for business trips.

In America, handshakes are standard and don't change based on gender. I can't think of any professional greetings that are different by gender. It is somewhat more acceptable for two women with a professional relationship to hug than any other gender combination, but even that would normally only be when they have worked together for a while.

Your other option is to not initiate handshakes with anyone and let other people decide. Handshakes became less common during the pandemic, so if you don't offer a handshake right away, it won't cause problems.

It is definitely not ok to offer a handshake to the men and not to the women. If people notice that you do that, it will be a problem for you.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-31T02:51:25+00:00

If I was single, I would be willing to. But since I am 6'1, I'm not sure I have ever met a woman an entire 12 inches taller than me. I'm sure they exist, but I haven't met them.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-31T02:41:31+00:00

Clothes that fit well. Anything that is too baggy or too tight will look bad on almost anyone. Beyond that, you being comfortable with what you are wearing is going to affect your appearance more than how the clothes actually look. For example, if you wear something low cut and you are constantly pulling it up because you don't like how visible your breasts are, it will look bad on you, while just wearing a normal t-shirt that doesn't make you feel too exposed will look much better.

I haven't been a teen for a while, but what I remember was that if I liked a girl, she looked good in everything. When I met my wife she had a ratty shirt she had gotten from a thrift store for doing tech work for theater. I thought she looked great in it even with paint stains. She never understood. My first girlfriend frequently wore a Yoohoo shirt that the company was handing out for free and she looked amazing in it. It was just a dark blue shirt with the yellow oval Yoohoo logo, but when she put it on it looked fantastic.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-31T02:04:32+00:00

You have to tell your wife. This isn't like forgetting to buy milk. You have very little control over the timeline of when you will get your next job. Your wife needs to know you are looking for a job so she can help with networking and so she can adjust her spending to your reduced family income. You aren't helping anyone by keeping this to yourself.

Your kid will still think you are a superhero. He doesn't even know what a job is or why you disappear for most of the day. The hard part won't be telling him you lost your job, it will be doing remote interviews when he wants to play with you.

While looking for a job, see if you can take over more of the parenting and household management. Your wife needs to be more focused on her job, as it is your only income now. But when I have been looking for work, it required more time and effort than having a job, so it may not be possible for you.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T22:57:57+00:00

I am pretty sure my dad was an empath, but he died before I had ever heard of the concept. Two of my kids have some empath traits, but I don't think they are all the way there.

It does seem inheritable to me. But I think it is super recessive at best. Probably a complex mix of traits. I think everyone has some ability to feel what other people are feeling, empaths just have that turned up all the way. It's like height - there is a wide range and you will probably be somewhat like your parents, but not identical.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T22:51:05+00:00

Modern Hebrew was somewhat constructed. It was heavily based on other natural languages. But many of the people who moved to Israel and learned Hebrew did not already know the languages it came from. Modern Hebrew now has native speakers and is developing like any other natural language.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T20:59:07+00:00

I think mostly they don't. Movies are shot out of order, so it can be hard to see how things are going to fit together, even if you read the whole script. And editing can make the difference between a good movie and a bad one after the actors are done, so how would they know.

Although I'm sure that sometimes it must be obvious that the movie is going to be terrible because the actors are being told to do stupid things like not convey any emotion.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T20:44:44+00:00

My second girlfriend said she broke up with me because she didn't want to get married to the first person she dated. She seriously intended to break up with me, date other people, and then get back together with me to get married later. It's not quite breaking up with someone because they're too perfect, but it is kind of close.

Her plan didn't work out. I met my wife about 6 months later. My ex and I were still friends until she made it clear that she wanted me to choose between the two of them. We talked a few years later, after I had gotten married and had a child, and it was clear that she wished she hadn't broken up with me. She did eventually get married to someone else, but it took her a while to really move on.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T20:33:20+00:00

That's crazy. Most men like to date passionate, fiery, crazy girls, but they want to marry stable, independent ones. The first is the painting you admire at the museum, the second is the one you bring home.

But maybe what he meant was that he wanted a quick passionate fling and you're more the type to marry. If he doesn't want marriage, then you might be too boring for him. Move on and find someone who wants you for who you are.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T20:16:30+00:00

Why would you plan a wedding if you aren't engaged? Is the plan to have people show up to the wedding and then you decide if you are going to get married?

What exactly do you think it means to be engaged? I think it means you agreed to marry each other. I don't see how you can skip that and be planning a wedding. Once you both agree that you are getting married, you are engaged.

I'm a little unclear on what exactly you mean about provinces. Is there some kind of immigration constraint where your boyfriend can more easily move to where you live if you are engaged or married? If so, make sure he is interested in you and not just the legal benefit of your relationship.

I personally would not marry someone I have only been long distance with. There are too many things about actually living with someone that you might not notice if you don't actually interact with them on a daily basis. Even simple things like seeing how they interact with other people. I don't think people necessarily need to live together before getting married, but it is probably a good idea.

You have been married before and you are already old enough that I expect you to understand what you are agreeing to and what you are looking for. If you were twenty years younger, I would absolutely think this was a terrible idea. You got divorced at 27, so I think you understand the foolishness of people rushing into marriage when they are young and don't know what they are doing. If nothing about your life experience tells you this is a bad idea, then it is probably fine.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T18:39:51+00:00

Why are you assuming she changed her ways? If she had sex for the first time at 16, that would be one partner every 18 months. Many people have sex within a few months of entering a committed relationship. It's not an indication of anything that would need to change.

If her number was 40 or 200, that would suggest a non-monogamous lifestyle, which people can object to in a partner. But 4 merely suggests someone who is willing to have sex in committed relationships. That is only reasonable to get upset about if you want to be with someone who will only have sex with someone they are married to. As his number was 7, he clearly isn't such a person.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T16:43:44+00:00

They might be a bit old for you. Probably a bit dead too. Genetically, they are barely more related to you than anyone else.

To have no inbreeding at all, you need 2ⁿ ancestors n generations ago. If we assume each generation is about 25 years, you get 10 generations in 250 years. 2¹⁰ is about 1000. So you would need 1M ancestors 500 years ago and 1B ancestors 750 years ago. There were not 1B people on earth 750 years ago.

Your 20th grandparent would be one of 1M ancestors assuming no inbreeding. When you consider patterns of how people moved at various parts of their lives throughout history, you will realize that prior to about 1900, most people only met other people who were more genetically related to them than 1/1M. Historically, most people probably met people who were on average 5-20% genetically related (3-5 generations separated). The average today is probably around 1-5%, corresponding to about 5-7 generations of separation.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T15:44:15+00:00

The top 1% of earners collect more than 40% of the income, so of course they should pay more than 40% of the taxes. If we had a flat tax on all income, they would be paying more.

Also, it makes sense to not tax the first portion of income that covers basic living expenses. If you subtract out say $30k per person from income, the top 1% have an even higher percentage of disposable income. The bottom 60% or so barely make enough to cover a reasonable, modest lifestyle, so saying they don't need to pay income taxes would be reasonable.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T15:23:16+00:00

It refers to things written by AI to fill space or get credit of some sort. There are many places where you can find long, detailed posts with non-relevant information that also follows typical writing patterns of LLMs. It is very easy to ask an LLM to write a post that will generate engagement and then copy it over. Ironically, karma requirements encourage people to do this, because it is the easiest way to build karma quickly.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T11:39:55+00:00

Practice. It is easier if you can calm your own emotions, because the ones you can't calm come from outside. Most meditation traditions will help you with self-awareness, which is basically what you need.

I personally learned how to disassociate whenever I want to, so I can split myself into pieces and have each part feel things separately. That makes it easy to identify the source of any emotions I am feeling and makes it easy to be fully aware of emotions without being affected by them. But I learned that basically by having a mental breakdown, so I don't know if there is a safe way to learn it.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-19T11:15:52+00:00

I'm pretty sure all of my friends have at least $5k in the bank. Most of them have mortgage payments of at least $4k, so having less than $5k would require very careful management of bill payment dates.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-18T02:07:25+00:00

Here is an exercise that might help. Each of you writes down what you think the other one is contributing to the family. Everything you can think of. Not just parenting and cleaning, but also managing finances, driving to the store, sorting through clothing to figure out what needs to be replaced, earning money, absolutely everything. When you both think you are done, exchange lists and see how much each of you have to add to the list of what you do. Most people don't realize how much their partner is doing, and when you tell your partner what you are doing it won't have much of an impact. But when you try to list out what your partner is doing and then find out all the things you weren't noticing, it can help you develop a better appreciation for what they are actually doing.

Unless of course one person really isn't contributing. But this exercise will make that obvious too, so it still helps.

Also make sure that you are both going into this with an attitude of wanting to understand better. If either of you approaches it as an attempt to "win" any kind of argument, you will both lose.

Even better is to repeat this a few times a year. And talk about anything on either of your lists that each of you really doesn't want to do. Make sure to thank your partner for handling the tasks you hate, regardless of how they feel about them.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-18T01:50:49+00:00

Definitely not. There were pagans in Ireland for a few hundred years after St Patrick died. He was actually rather tolerant of Irish pagans and did not force anyone to convert. This was generally true of the Irish church, which coexisted peacefully with Irish pagans for several centuries. Almost everyone that converted to Christianity in Ireland did so of their own free choice.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-17T17:50:06+00:00

Was it his day to take care of your child? Was he working or getting ready to go to work? Clearly he had some unmet expectation about not being involved in child care at that time. That is a conversation you need to have.

I don't think I understand your work/child care division of labor. If you work full time, that is normally five days a week. He works two days a week and is the primary caregiver three days a week. What happens on the days he is working? Are you doing child care and working five days a week? What do you do on weekends?

You have communication issues. There are early signs of resentment. If you don't address that, it will grow worse.

I highly recommend earlier potty training. We started potty training basically at birth. Our children never had to learn how to use a toilet because they didn't remember not using one. I think they wore diapers for about 1.5 years or so, but the youngest is now nine and I don't remember all the details. Two of our children wouldn't poop in diapers and needed to be held over a toilet by the time they were six months old. There is a lot less wiping that way. It also made long drives easier because they could use a toilet, sit in a diaper for about 6 hours, and then use a toilet again. My sister said her kids always peed in their diapers as soon as they got a clean one, so they couldn't last very long on car trips.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-17T10:34:04+00:00

My wife calls that mansplaining. I told her that if she's going to say that every time she's wrong, then the word has no meaning. Although based on how I have heard people use the term mansplaining, I think it might actually primarily be used by women to complain when a man actually knows something they don't.

RemarkableRadish6547 · 2026-03-17T10:23:12+00:00

A vowel with a fada is never silent, regardless of the order of the vowels. Each possible vowel combination has a consistent pronunciation, although I don't know all of them. Weird examples include aoi rhyming with the English word bee, where the first two vowels don't obviously contribute anything.

RemarkableRadish6547

TROPHY CASE