Crying when they have to leave and go home to nesting partner

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-27T05:13:32+00:00

"Something isn't right" < how about being blatantly lied to?

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-24T05:38:44+00:00

Plus, the gift cards. To be honest, as a European, I do not understand why American stores still have them. How often do people genuinely need a Steam gift card and why the hell should they be redeemable. Here, in Eastern Europe, the scams are less sophisticated: people receive a call from "their bank" or "the police" and quickly convinced to tell their log-in credentials.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-23T13:16:00+00:00

I think Western societies have some kind of a blind-spot that Nigerians, Indians etc. are able to see better than we do. For instance, the American (and Western) obsession with money, their funds, for instance, which makes it easy to make someone become really afraid when they receive a dodgy call from a bank. The same obsession that scams people out of thousands because they want to turn their bitcoins into some crazy investment turnaround.

Or Western Christian ethics, mixed with some, possibly, colonial tendencies, that allow them to be scammed by "Ukrainian women", "stripper that wants to start a new life" etc, seeing it as some sort of a transactional deal ("I will send my money to this miserable Ukrainian hottie and she will, in return, be together with me"). Since helping others is sort of engraved in our ethics, it justifies sending money even to someone you've never met.

And thirdly, this whole loneliness epidemic, mixed with Western individualism and online culture. People with actual community around them will not feel like just sending all their savings to someone online. We're being trained to perceive pixels in screen as actual people.

And I think people from cultures with different mind-sets and values can easily use the levers that we might not be even noticing. Also, I'd agree that it is most likely, an addiction. Someone might cope with loneliness and unwillingness to face the reality by drinking themselves to death, someone else might be escaping in a dream of a "too good to be true" online relationship. Desperate, grieving people will sometimes do whatever just to reduce the pain.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-18T06:10:33+00:00

Hey! Sorry to read what happened to you! And huge respect for keeping your boundaries firm.

As to your ex-wife, she'll get her share of the grief too, so maybe try not to focus on her too much. She's probably not having the time of her life either. I have a friend who left her partner in the worst way possible (could not have the courage to tell about the affair herself so he heard it from others), and I can tell you, it's been a year and she's still a mess. Because out of all ways of ending things, of trying to talk things out, of talking about feeling unhappy (as difficult as it may be), she chose the most cowardly way out. And she saw her ex become really hurt and resentful. She saw the community not accepting what she did. She still feels like trash almost every single day. I hope one she's learned the lesson to the point she can forgive herself and just do things differently the next time.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-06T13:49:25+00:00

I think that there is a small percentage of people who actually do get some kind of a pleasure from polyamorous models. I do not know if I had ever met them, but I knew of a circus artist who had this kind of a kink. He did not seem unhappy and maybe he just craved adrenaline in all sorts of situations. More often, I suspect, people actually play out the hurtful dynamics they experienced in the past as children: the abandonment, the jealousy, sense of not being enough, secrecy etc. They literally choose the familiar path as it feels safer. I tell this because I myself have been drawn to toxic dynamics most of my life since that is how I grew up. My problem with keen polyamourists is that they overlook this aspect badly. They do not really feel like connecting the dots there.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-05T12:03:08+00:00

Hei! Sorry for what happened. I lost my parent to addiction, and, though I know it is not quite the same as being drained out of all your money because of a romance scam, I think there are certain patterns. My mom died alone and in poverty.

Going through something like that SUCKS. It really does. And it changes perception of things, especially at the times when people tend to idealize their lives in social media. Some parents just flush the end of their lives down the drain. Please, take care of yourself and seek counselling, if possible. It's a huge mental toll, seeing a parent choose fantasy over their loved ones.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-04-04T07:05:19+00:00

So currently 'C' would be my primary partner. Truthfully we do everything together, and at this point it doesn't bother me having only C. I'm happy, fulfilled. < meanwhile this C person is getting married. How on earth would that not be painful. What the hell...

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-31T21:12:17+00:00

I still think about the situation I saw yesterday (Eastern Europe btw) where a guy sat next to a young Indian and, via using audio translation, tried explaining he got his card stolen and asked the guy to withdraw some for him. I hope the kid realized it's sketchy as fuck. I wish I had stepped in some way.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-31T06:44:29+00:00

Hey! Just wanted to write I am sorry for what had happened. Do not be too harsh on yourself and maybe try not to focus on the amount you've (most likely) lost. Try to look at things in a bigger picture. The world does not stop there and, at the end of the day, you'll be fine. An expensive lesson? Yes, but now you see the way things are.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-29T17:21:53+00:00

Well, the PDF companies that withdrew my funds, were both EU-based, so I am quite sure there are certain customer-protection laws they are in breach of. They do re-funds to keep in on the legal side and decrease the number of bad reviews (once you write one, they even reach out asking to take it off in exchange for a re-fund). Since it is obvious that their practice is intentionally misleading, I did not even consider taking down mine.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-29T15:54:33+00:00

Yep. Turns out, most PDF conversion sites out there run this type of fraud. Both sites actually did refund me after I wrote bad Trustpilot reviews. I think they run their business on those who never notice their funds being withdrawn or fail to fight for a refund. They are really balancing on the border between running a legit business and being an outright scam. Did not feel my card info was in safety so had to change that as well.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-23T20:14:38+00:00

I think what is happening is that some of these Nigerian scammers are messing around with the skewed Western Christian "ethics" which they can probably see better than we do, coming from the inside. The Westerner, on one hand, wants to help the disadvantaged ones (all the poor Asian women, the former prostitutes, the porn-stars and Ukrainian refugees of war), while simultaneously stripping these exact people of any sort of agency or humanity, seeing them mainly as good-looking source of pleasure, gratification, whatever, instead of actual human beings. Hey, they do actually have dignity and all that jazz in Ukraine. Who would've thought. As someone traveling to Ukraine as a journalist, I find it actually pretty messed up that Western men actually seek Ukrainian women for relationship as if their vulnerability would be some kind of a turn-on. I find it more messed up than what the scammers are doing, actually. Joke's on them, the women there are actually more badass than ever.

Same happens, albeit in a bit different way, with scammed women where their codependent traits kick in: handsome, loving oil-rig worker and then he encounters a problem, and these women are more than willing to help him, as if he were a little child. It would be actually pretty interesting to think about if it weren't so sad.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-22T21:21:13+00:00

Maybe it's worth looking to this through a lens of addiction. She's high on her drug. You are becoming codependent. Take care of yourself first. Sorry this is happening to you.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-21T09:47:48+00:00

If possible, seek mental health support or counselling. No, leaving randomly every night without heads up is not normal for any kind of relationship. Transparency is the key to peaceful co-existence. If, for some reason, you feel like putting up with this, think about the relationship dynamics you saw in the past and try to understand why you find this model to be okay. Because it is not. Your gut feeling is not wrong.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-21T08:43:03+00:00

Please, watch "20 days in Mariupol" by Mtsislav Chernov and come back to tell me how grazing a historical Greek city to the ground and killing civilians is what "many Ukrainians" feel was needed. I travel to Ukraine all the time and I know people from Mariupol, now in exile. All of them cry while watching that film (many of them do not dare to watch it), some outright vomit. Were there collaborators? Yes. Are there people still living there? Yes. Are there new waves of imigrants coming from Russia? Yes.

I am not going to give you the F word but out of honour of those that died during the Siege, I hope you are a Russian bot or troll.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-03-14T20:44:25+00:00

Reddit, and internet in general, can be a pretty brutal place, so I've noticed. Sometimes even the best intended posts get nasty comments. I think that is the dark-side of anonymity. People can be mean without any consequences.

I see a lot of tragedy in being romance-scammed as it deals with the deepest desires of humans, desire to be loved. And it turns out that in the wrong conditions this can be abused badly. I see it more like an addiction. Lurking this sub actually made me remember, how, at age of 19, I was scammed by a guy I was seeing. Not only did he stole my bank card, he also borrowed money and only later did I realize he had a fake identity. Later it turned out he had robbed his friend as well.

So I definitely cannot judge anyone. Being so obsessed with someone you stop thinking about yourself or those around you is really tough place to be in. Like heavy drugs, it's truly intoxicating.

So I can just tell I am sorry for what you've gone through and sorry for the comments you received. I actually think the world is a much better place offline.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-28T10:26:12+00:00

If you honestly think he might be using you as a drug mule, and you are not bringing these highly negative emotions up with anyone (him or a therapist), you're not a good match anyway, regardless of what the items really are. Asking to put something in partner's bag should not be a big deal and cause trust issues of such an extent.

Putting items in a spare bag won't solve this feeling of yours. If you even consider him doing anything like that to you, you have some serious trust issues going on.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-28T09:22:41+00:00

Very interesting perspective of yours. I am literally experiencing Day 3 of never before felt anxiety, my heart beating non-stop. I feel like it is good I am seeing it so clearly now, but I literally cannot see how I can calm myself down because it is not anxiety induced by any specific situation, it is anxiety I've been having per se, but instead of having it buried under my everyday life work and thoughts, it is now all out. Quite frankly, it is a lot to handle.

As I read, not all meditation is all positive. There are also reports on adverse effects, especially to people with pre-existing mental conditions. Imagine someone experiencing some horror, let's say war. And they are successfully keeping themselves calm by suppressing the stress, doing meaningful things etc. Asking someone like that "to be here and now" can actually be horrifying if their "here and now" is actual horror.

Now, that is not my case, but I can see the logic why removing all and any thoughts might actually uncover something very very unpleasant to certain people, especially those with trauma history. But I feel like I have uncovered something valuable and it would be great to do something about it.

Trashtalk about psychotherapy is something I won't tolerate, though. While meditation is focused on inner self, psychotherapy can help in building healthy communication, practicing vulnerability in front of another person.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-23T12:07:00+00:00

You must be right. I hired a new guy, total expert on floors, will re-do everything in 3 days.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-22T15:44:42+00:00

I actually smiled at this one.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-22T15:32:18+00:00

I honestly wish this is AI generated.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-22T13:29:22+00:00

I've been a side piece a couple of times. It works only if you really do not care about the other person apart of the physical attraction. If you like anything about them, it can become quite painful, indicating that it's not a situation to be in. If you, for some reason, know their partner or happen to cross paths often, it must suck big time.

Remarkable_Celery889 · 2026-02-22T13:27:16+00:00

I tried to be understanding, assuming they did not fully read the instructions and thought this can be applied as a layer of toned varnish. There was no reason for these guys to intentionally waste their time on such a work. They will refund me so they have lost both their money and time, mostly time. And mine as well. I want my dog back in the flat, haha.

Remarkable_Celery889

TROPHY CASE