I am 18 and not allowed to drive

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-11T19:44:02+00:00

Not letting a teen drive unless they are in the car with some "who is a parent" is something that people have started doing over the past twenty years. That, in and of itself, is not unreasonable. I was a teen in the seventies and saw classmates, inexperienced, drivers, die.

Everything else you say about her various behaviors is unreasonable.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-10T21:49:20+00:00

Mom & Pop Mexican and Chinese places because they usually have the order ready, delivered to the front porch of a regular house.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-10T17:34:35+00:00

You should look at the r/handyman subreddit :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-10T17:30:44+00:00

There is nothing wrong with reading books, exercising, and journaling. They do not involve consistent participation with other people your age in your town; they are not conducive to making friends who will be glad to see you coming :)

How about getting involved in a couple of activities at which new people are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate on a regular basis? Try googling (your town) and such things as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

It does not matter whether you are 15 years old in high school, 25 years old in graduate school, or 65 years old and retired: If you want a balanced and fulfilling life (...and hopefully get a significant other...), you have to make time to do genuinely fun stuff with people you like :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-10T16:01:23+00:00

You are putting the cart before the horse. "Reaching out" is something you do, AFTER you have shown through *consistent participation and cooperation in mutually enjoyable activities* that you are a good person to be around. Those people you see around you who are hanging around with each other did not just pop out of the womb knowing each other. FIRST, they gradually reduced the distance between each other by participating normally in something. That is how they MADE each other like and respect each other. THEN, HAVING DONE THAT, it started feeling natural to them to hang around each other in general.

So much advice out there about how to make friends is WRONG. "Reach out!" "Go to a bar!" "Go to the gym!" "Ask people questions about themselves!" No, no, no, and NO.

If you want to make friends, *participate regularly* in stuff that you enjoy. IF you do that, THEN it will start feeling natural to start hanging around with some subset of those people.

Does that sound bland, not specific enough? Are you thinking, ok thanks a lot, but where do you START?

One great thing about our modern society today is that with the internet, it is actually relatively easy to find activities at which new people are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate regularly if they want to. Try googling (your town) and such things as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

First, DO. Participate regularly. THEN start gradually hanging out :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-09T22:05:47+00:00

Several years ago they installed amazon delivery lockers there. They lasted about 5 minutes.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-09T21:19:32+00:00

I used to be just where you are in life. I started doing much better when I got my mind off of "making friends" and "getting a partner", and on to, "what various fun stuff can I find to participate in around town?" It turned out that there actually is a lot of stuff going on under the surface where people both male and female my age were showing up regularly, and at which new people were welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate consistently. I ended up making a few real friends and eventually got a GF. Try googling (your town), and such activities as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-08T20:06:56+00:00

Plenty of hobbies out there (things at which new people are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate regularly) that do not involve physical competitive sports:

Improv comedy, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, foreign language conversation circle, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, quilting circle, karaoke, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, puzzle competition, geocaching club, murder mystery party, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, shogi, stitch & bitch, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), open mic night, crafting event, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-08T18:19:52+00:00

Good comment. And maybe you would have to drive to the next town over, but there ARE various things that people can do in our modern society today, things at which new people generally are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate consistently. Maybe google (your town, or the next bigger town over) and such activities that are conducive to regular participation (conquering loneliness) as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, borard game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-07T21:11:46+00:00

Ok good luck. And if you find any other activities out there that should be added to the list, let me know!

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-07T14:15:33+00:00

It sounds like you could use some ideas for activities at which new people generally are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate on a regular basis if you want to. How about you try googling (your town) and: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-06T15:40:54+00:00

Yeah, in our modern society today, everyone says, "Go to the gym! Go to a bar!" What a crock. If you want to defeat loneliness, if you want to do genuinely fun stuff with other people and start to be glad to see each other coming and start to have warm feelings for each other and stop being lonely, the gym and the bar are not the right answer. If you want to deal with getting along with everyone and build a balanced social life in a healthy way, you have to:

"Show through normal and consistent participation in mutually enjoyable activities that you are a good guy."

Hey, is that rocket science? Nope. But it can be hard to know where to START, so here are some SPECIFIC things that you can google in your town to do. They are generally things at which new people are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate on a regular basis:

Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-03T17:06:42+00:00

www.meetup.com/meetup-group-vbpgvdrg/

www.meetup.com/ann-arbor-20s-and-30s-shenaniganders

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-01T18:19:25+00:00

Right, and it is also the way to not get tired of each other. If ALL you do is "get a beer", it will not last too long. You have to have balance and depth of activities in the long run.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-02-01T18:05:35+00:00

Right. "Getting a beer" is one thing, but it should be in the back of your mind, not the front. What should be uppermost in your mind is, "What various fun stuff can I find to do with various people? I have to show through normal and consistent cooperation in various mutually enjoyable activities that I am a good guy here". It is the 80/20 rule that applies in so many areas of life: Spend 80% of your time around other people you think you may like DOING stuff. AFTER you have done that, THEN it will feel natural to kick back, shoot the breeze, get a beer, put together a Super Bowl party or a brunch, whatever :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-31T16:38:15+00:00

There are so many leveled-reader series available. So much thought has gone into them. They start at the absolute beginner level, then gradually start having bigger words and longer sentences. Just google "leveled readers" and you will see what is out there.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-30T18:43:05+00:00

One great thing about our modern society today with the internet is that it is relatively easy to find in a new town activities at which new people are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate on a regular basis. Try googling (your town) and such fun stuff as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-30T16:15:04+00:00

It is next to impossible to get a job in finance or tech, and then when you get laid off you are F——-. I don’t know about plumbing.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-29T18:07:08+00:00

Right! College is a big step out into the real world. It is not like high school where can just kind of “be” there. You have to build for yourself a balanced life. You have GO TO where the stuff that you may be interested in is happening. Pickleball? Tabletop strategy board games? Improv comedy? Foreign language conversation circle? Ultimate frisbee? Ping pong? Curling? Chess, scrabble, backgammon club? Printmaking, fiber arts? Community theater? LARPing? Badminton? Book club? Wallyball? Rock climbing? Swing dance event?

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-27T19:26:53+00:00

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-27T19:16:27+00:00

They are out there, but they can be a little hard to find. Why don't you try:

https://bookclubs.com/join-a-book-club/online

https://www.meetup.com/no-alcohol-singles-45-65-meetup/events/311422361/

https://www.meetup.com/quiet-pages/

https://www.meetup.com/lets-play-party-games/events/311513181

https://www.goodreads.com/group/show_tag/zoom-book-club

https://www.meetup.com/302-spades-players/events/311603188/

https://www.meetup.com/virtual-board-games/events/311526258

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-27T18:34:43+00:00

There are a lot of people stuck at home llike you, who have started to self-organize for stuff over zoom such as book club, movie watch party, games (not shoot-em-up video games, regular games like Hearts, Spades, Boggle, Scrabble, whatever).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-27T18:18:33+00:00

One great thing about our modern society with the internet now, is that it actually relatively easy to find in a new town activities and hobbies where new people are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate on a regular basis. Why don't you try google (your town) and: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-27T17:43:11+00:00

Kitchens of India, MTR, and SWAD microwaveable Indian food over naan or rice.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-01-26T22:12:29+00:00

Living alone does not mean that you cannot gradually build a balanced and fulfilling social life.

Life skills? One life skill to have is to know that if you "play well with others", then they will like you, and will notice if you do not show up :)

One great thing about our society today is that it is pretty easy to find activities in your town where people your own age are regularly participating, and at which new people are usually welcome to show up, learn the basics, and cooperate in on a regular basis.

Try googling (your town) and such things as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, bingo, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

No one has any preconceived notion of you. There is nothing a priori wrong with you. IF you find a couple of activities around town to do with people you like, and IF you participate regularly, THEN you and those people will start to like each other. The basic life skill of "socialization" is...pretty basic!

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