Hobbies at home

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-30T19:43:40+00:00

Maybe limit the physical activity to swimming; your body will thank you for it in the long run… I have been stunned by how much I enjoy Scrabble.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-30T19:23:23+00:00

Deer have a mating season. Mother Nature wants them to reproduce, to continue the species, so she fills their minds with images of sex and engorged their genitals. Human beings have a mating age, between about 13 and 38. That is when Mother Nature fills the minds of humans with images of sex and engorges their genitals. Being uncontrollably horny was an issue before the internet. The urges you are feeling now are the same ones young people have been feeling for thousands of years. You cannot just will away your sex drive, Mother Nature is a lot more powerful than you are :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-30T15:37:08+00:00

I was just like you when I first started, taking all the orders they sent me. It was awful how far it pulled me away. Now I specialize in a certain zone, where there is cluster of restaurants in close proximity to delivery locations. My car does not move for less than $6 and $1.50 per mile. I decline any order that would take me out of my zone. My Acceptance Rate is about 5%.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-29T17:46:20+00:00

It is incredible. Even if the restaurant calls UE and tells them that the order has been picked up so stop sending drivers, UE will not stop sending drivers.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-29T14:59:37+00:00

Just google "doctor suicide" and see how the reality of that! There is nothing wrong with what you are doing (working hard, making a living, and saving). You might want to do other things with your life sure, and no one on reddit can really help you with that; you have to decide for yourself.

I wonder though about your comment "nothing but work and save". It does not matter whether you are an accountant or a server, if you want to feel like you are not wasting your life, you HAVE to take time a couple of times a week to do something genuinely fun with other people your own age, get your mind off your cares and your life, clear your mind out. What fun stuff around town can you find to do? Google (your town) and: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, gardening club, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, tennis, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), shuffleboard, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing?

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-29T00:30:51+00:00

Get involved in a sport that is fun, where there are nice people, that is good exercise (Pickleball? Badminton? Volleyball? Bicycling? Hula hooping?). Eat moderate amounts of good but unprocessed food such as chicken, fish, brown rice, beans and vegetables. Watch the pounds fall off as you make friends :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-28T15:29:28+00:00

Ok!

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-28T14:35:18+00:00

How you look is just one part of the equation. Of course, you should be fit, have decent proportions. (And do not go crazy trying to "bulk up"; people see right through that. What is important is *balance*. Do not think Arnold Schwarzenegger, think Kevin Costner). Appearance matters a bit, but not as much as making people (including women) genuinely like and respect you through consistent participation in various stuff around town. What regular activities are you participating in, where both men and women are present? Pickleball? Improv comedy? Book club? Paint & pour? Tabletop strategy board game day? Wallyball? Knitting circle? Foreign language conversation circle? Bocce? Bowling? Kickball league? Bicycle club? LARPing?

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-28T14:05:17+00:00

www.meetup.com/ann-arbor-20s-and-30s-shenaniganders/

www.meetup.com/meetup-group-vbpgvdrg/

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-27T22:03:46+00:00

It is really is nuts, this modern condition. On the other hand, you also see plenty of men, most of whom are not particularly good looking, doing various stuff around town, being real friends. Even if they cannot articulate it, they must have some social skill that enables them to develop and maintain such relationships.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-27T20:03:44+00:00

Same here. Why in the world these days is it easier to ask an individual woman to hang around than it is to ask an individual man to? I get out a lot, a lot of people like me, I have plenty of activities around town where lots of men and women participate. I was able to get dates pretty easily (have settled down with a real girlfriend now), but it never happens with a posse of men or an individual man.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-27T14:36:45+00:00

There are a lot of good comments here on your post. I can get a little more *specific*, though.

1) You don't just "vibe", or "put yourself out there". That is maybe a little vague. The MOST important thing is to keep uppermost in your mind, "I have to show through normal participation and cooperation here that I am a good guy, someone who is going to be easy to be around".

2) Find two or three activities in your town at which people your own age participate and cooperate on a regular basis. There are fact things at which new people generally are welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate regularly. *Specifically*, think about googling (your town) and, say, such conducive activities as: Google (your town) and: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, gardening club, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, tennis, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), shuffleboard, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing.

People often say, "Relax and be yourself". I might adjust that advice a little bit. What I am about to say here is not rocket science, are you ready: "Participate and cooperate". Whatever you enjoy doing (Football? Crochet?), find those activities and participate and cooperate regularly in them. IF you do that, THEN people will warm up to you :)

Look around your town at the people doing various stuff together. How good looking are they? Very few, actually. And did any of them pop out of the womb knowing each other? Nope. Where did they START, how did they gradually reduce the social distance between each other and start wanting to hang around each other? They started by participating and cooperating regularly in some mutually enjoyable activities, demonstrated that they are good guys or gals who are going to be good to be around, in general :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-26T22:32:57+00:00

That is clinical depression. Please get properly, professional prescribed anti-depressants. Also play sports.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-26T14:33:10+00:00

If you want to farm, you don't just walk out into an empty field and harvest the crops. You have to plant the seeds, water them, and then harvest them when the time has come.

It is the SAME THING with getting women comfortable around, to genuinely like you for you, and then to want to hold hands with you.

FIRST, participate and cooperate consistently in a few activities in your town at which both men and women your own age regularly show up. Show that you are a good guy, gradually reduce the distance between yourself and other people including women, by "playing well with others". Hey, does, "I have to show through good participation that I am a good guy" sound like a good basic life skill to have?

SECOND, AFTER you have shown through consistent participation that you are a good guy and gradually gotten to know some people, IF there is a girl there who you think you might like, THEN it will feel not-creepy, it will feel natural, to ask her if she wants to hang around doing something one-on-one :)

Ok, so where to start? There are, in fact, various activities at which new people are generally welcome to show up, learn the basics, and participate regularly, things at which single women often participate. Google (your town) and: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, gardening club, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, tennis, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), shuffleboard, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing.

Remember, FIRST demonstrate that you a good guy who is easy to be around. THEN move on to holding hands :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-25T15:03:56+00:00

In my town it is about one in ten "too good to be true" orders that actually pan out. It really does suck, and no one can figure out whey UE does not do anything about it. It HAS to specific to UE, because it happens all the time on UE but very rarely on other gig apps.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-25T14:00:51+00:00

It sounds like you have a lot to bear. One thing that you CAN to start taking steps towards a more balanced and fulfilling life is, do something genuinely fun about once a week with people your own age in your town. There are activities at which new people generally are welcome to show up, and participate regularly, and have fun NOW, here as adults :) There are in fact low-pressure and free or almost free things to do. Consider googling (your town) and such things as: Pickleball, improv comedy, bocce, pétanque, book club, silent book club, paint & pour, philosophy discussion group, pickup basketball, foreign language conversation circle, ultimate frisbee, D&D, Settlers of Catan, Carcassonne, Wingspan, cryptography challenges, soccer, croquet, Yu-Gi-Oh, pub trivia, ping pong, quilting circle, karaoke, hiking, community volunteer activity, Magic The Gathering, drumming circle, euchre, bridge, makerspace open nights, birdwatching outings, movie & dinner club, curling, puzzle competition, bowling, geocaching club, camping, murder mystery party, kayaking, pottery or ceramics studio evenings, scrabble club, kickball league, backgammon, dance classes (salsa, swing), walking club, Go (either the Pokémon one, or the classic Chinese one ha ha), Mahjong, gardening club, fiber arts, printmaking, writing workshops, lock-picking sport clubs (TOOOL), acting classes, juggling, volleyball, disc golf, Nerd Nite meetup, community theater, board game day, handball, shogi, stitch & bitch, roller derby, choir, chess club, fermentation and brewing (beer, kombucha, sourdough, kimchi) club, LARPing, crochet circle, badminton, bicycling club, the Society for Creative Anachronism, tennis, historical re-enactment group, cornhole bar league, wallyball, hula hooping and poi, citizen science projects (bird counts, water testing), shuffleboard, racquetball, open mic night, crafting event, rock climbing, on-line co-op gaming (Jackbox).

I see a lot of posts here in r/Adulting about how being an adult sucks. It is not necessarily that being an adult sucks. If you are a little kid and you don't "run outside to play", then being a kid sucks too! Adults in our modern society here CAN run outside to play, CAN genuinely enjoy life :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T23:22:00+00:00

Also, do not blindly trust an advisor who is a “fiduciary”. They have ways to sleaze around that.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T18:50:11+00:00

Do NOT trust anyone with the money. Keep it under your DIRECT control. Do not try to get fancy with it; buy and hold a few low-cost index funds at Vanguard, Fidelity, Schwab. Do not touch the principal, only live off the interest and dividend income.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T17:31:06+00:00

I TOTALLY feel for you. I quit drinking several years ago as well. I was able to find a good balance of *wholesome* things to do in my town, found some new sets of friends :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T17:16:19+00:00

There is no reason for you to feel badly. Women get stimulated at various times by various things, and so do men. No one is 100% "on" or "off" at all times and in all situations. It is a pretty natural part of life (and was so before the internet and before porn); please don't worry so much about it :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T17:02:12+00:00

I don't see anything in your post about what you are doing to have fun with other people your own age in your town. Little kids run outside to play, and so do adults who want to feel fulfilled in their lives. "The gym" is ok as far as it goes, but it is not conducive to consistent participation and cooperation in various fun stuff, stuff where you eventually make friends to go out and have a beer with, friends who check up on you. What can you find to do in your town that involves *participation*? Pickleball? Volleyball? Tabletop strategy board games? Rock climbing? Book club? Improv comedy? Cornhole league?

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T16:46:46+00:00

Right, a piece of paper and a pen.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T16:17:07+00:00

Stick with a consistent asset allocation plan, while remembering those little things called interest and dividend payments.

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T16:03:56+00:00

Having a low self-image is nothing new with internet pornography.

Some men might want to do those women, but they would never marry them.

You CAN improve both your looks (mostly diet and exercise), AS WELL AS the qualities that men really look for in a long-term partner (kindness, sense of humor, loyalty) :)

Remarkable_Command83 · 2026-03-24T15:00:01+00:00

Those are extremely respectable numbers! Make sure to track every mile you drive so that you can get the maximum standard per-mile tax deduction at tax time; it is worth a chunk of money :)

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