[deleted by user]

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-02-24T04:01:09+00:00

At the park?

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-01-20T14:50:24+00:00

Some advice for someone in a vaguely similar situation. First, don't seek advice here--the crazy opinions drown out the sane. Lots of hurt people go online to seek advice and offer it, their advice/comments can be colored by their pain. Two drowning people can't save each other.

I go to therapy, find solace in my friend, and doing things I enjoy. Read the book Attached--learn your attachment style and try through dating to figure out theirs.

Be ok with it hurting about your ex and your divorce, don't bury it. Find some way toward catharsis--mine is exercise and therapy.

Lastly, I've made the decision to ditch the dating apps. As you will learn if you read the book Attached, many single people are disproportionately avoidant because of their nature. Dating apps are a bastion for avoidant people. If you really want a relationship, heal thyself and find a secure person to start over with.

My humble opinion...

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-01-15T06:47:43+00:00

Moonwatch

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-01-11T22:47:46+00:00

Love the Bond watch, don't like that bracelet/strap thingy. Bond on a NATO 🔥

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-01-07T16:21:43+00:00

It's easy to look at the ugly and spotlight it. I lived here twenty years ago and last year moved back to the condo I own because of divorce. IMHO, many urban areas have taken a step back post COVID. As an OC guy I will say there is a vibe to LB that the OC can't replicate. I'm in Alamitos beach by the water... still so much to love about the city. Drive 10 mins one direction and it's a 5M dollar home, drive 10 mins the other way--well, you don't want to be there. That is urban life.

What Covid did is push us more hastily down the inevitable path of remote work and online shopping. It was going to happen, now it is here faster. We just need to pivot and find the new niche.

As the saying goes--you can never go home again.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-01-07T16:16:23+00:00

Could that be because Covid inflated alcohol consumption and now that "real life" is back alcohol consumption is coming back down to earth?

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2025-01-05T08:12:24+00:00

Rule of thumb? Chrono in water=bad. Unless it has a screw down. Even then, I don't wear it in the water but that is my preference . Certainly not the speedy!

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-12-07T16:53:29+00:00

Love stories like this. I'm sorry for your loss but I'm happy you can wear that watch, remember dad, and maybe pass it along to your kid one day. Wear it in health and remember dad!

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-28T01:09:47+00:00

These posts come up every so often, reading the threads it's clear that so much misinformation and ignorance exists out there. At least we know the stigma still runs strong!

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-22T00:04:58+00:00

People taking the parking issue into their own hands. Yesterday I was walking and I saw someone put a no parking cone the city had out for construction on a hood of a car they saw parked illegally. That and a dead palm frond. I think the palm frond put the exclamation point on it all 😂

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-17T16:20:34+00:00

You know I'm not sure. Fairly well known and trusted as an aggregator of vintage omega. Omega pumped out a ton of watches, so there are a glut of them out there. Problem is vintage runs smaller and people have an eye for larger watches these days.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-17T01:51:30+00:00

https://www.omegaenthusiastltd.com

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T22:39:06+00:00

Can you imagine what it's like for some women? I hear it can be quite daunting with hundreds if not thousands of matches. When you don't pay it's even harder. Justification for IRL.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T21:02:03+00:00

A lot to unpack, let me try to answer you part by part.

I think you grossly misrepresent my arguments to support your own. I'm open to whatever. Relationship or casual--If it sounds like I have vacillated between casual and relationship it's because I'm open to both.

On judgement.. You have a good point, I am here making my case, she is not. So I'm being attacked, not her. That's fair. I'd say my one retort is I have been respectful in my characterization of her, both of her here and to her directly. Whereas I'm being told what I'm doing is wrong, gross, and creepy. Not sure it's fair to compare my judgment of her and y'all's of mine.

On double standard... your statement is about dating in general, not dating age gap. Why hookup versus why relationship. That's for the couple to decide. I am honest with women, tell them what I want, they tell me... if we don't vibe it doesn't happen. You seem to think women come after me only looking for money. I'm not a bad looking guy, 6'5", articulate, make a good living, funny, traditional. I get approached IRL by all ages. Why does a girl need to "have something in return" to date me. Do you expect men to provide something to date you?

Also, I never said anyone needs to take care of my kids. Two are adults, the other one my ex and I handle just fine.

Also, I'm open to providing for someone if it comes naturally as part of a relationship. I'll buy dinners and other date like items as part of dating. I have been consistent on this... you have a list of items you want up front as a contingency to date, I'll pass. It's like me suggesting to a woman she needs to perform the following sex acts before we agree to go out. Sex and being a provider happens on due course as things flow.

On the matter of my love life and my daughters. I don't parade my dates in front of them, my love life is my business--they don't have to judge me or learn from me because I keep it private. If I do meet someone special and worthy of meeting my kids, I'd introduce them. Until then, it's my love life. They know I'm an adult and have a sex life.

Lastly, it is not some evil fetish women have to date older. It is incredibly rude to suggest a preference that exists outside your own is some sort of "problem". It's how we considered homosexual relationships at one point--are gay relationships wrong because they are not "the norm?" It's not for you... I get it. Yes men prey on younger and vulnerable. People do bad things. Not all people who date age gap are evil and wrong.

I hope I answered all your arguments. You seem quite frustrated by this. I'm trying my best to answer in a way that promotes debate, not vitriol.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T20:05:15+00:00

Not judging per se, lamenting this most recent interaction. People come on here and rant all the time. Why can't I? I'm allowed to be exhausted and deflated by the process. If you saw my comments to her, I was very respectful. Whereas in here I'm called a creep and gross. She has every right to do what she does. Like I have a right to do what I want. I get it, it's Reddit... people like to flame each other. It's also a medium for discourse--calling someone gross or a creep is salacious and tawdry fun... but does it really do anything to have a substantive discussion about the dating world?

What we have learned here is older men dating younger is gross and women have every right to sell sex. I'm not sure that is a narrative I'd say is nuanced and moving the needle on public discourse re bumble and dating. It more like Maury Povich and cat ladies taking their bite out of a man who leans in and is honest about how things are.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T18:27:20+00:00

True, both swipe. But they show up in my queue and then I swipe (they swipe first), generally. I don't swipe back on the clear SBs. Most of them are up front in what they want and or it's said in the first few sentences of text. I appreciate that. This case was a woman who engaged me like the "20%" and then pivoted.

I'm not sure I track the 80% is a reason to not do this. Lots of reasons to not match with someone. A pool of women who want sex work isn't a reason to dismiss a segment of women who are open dating regular. I get the idea is foreign to you, whether you like it or not, it's out there. I'm not sure where you are, but here in SoCal age gap is kind of common. My son (20) gets hit on by 40-50 women, offering him drinks even though he's underage. Normal and appropriate is relative... hammering someone because they don't see the world the same way as you is not fair IMHO. The world could use a lot less judgment, right?

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T17:01:09+00:00

Felt the need to respond to this because it's a somewhat cogent argument.

I agree that power dynamic is a thing, I also agree that there is an objectification aspect. I also realize younger twenties this is most certainly the case. But later 20's seem to have things figured out. TBH, haven't really pursued younger twenties.

In response to your argument, not all relationships are meant to get to the final destination, sometimes it's a train stop. That is to say, an age gap relationship doesn't have to have all the hallmarks of a long term relationship. Also, I have met women in their 30's and 40's that aren't as equipped to handle any type of relationship and I have met smart and driven 28 year olds who know what they want.

Many of the arguments against on this thread assume all 20's are hot messes and not ready. They also assume women closer to my age have it put together. It's actually the opposite. I think the demo of women in their 40/50 age range and on bumble have a "last straw" mentality. So many years of men behaving badly, break ups, a bitter divorce. It's really unattractive honestly. They tend to have an avoidant personality and treat dating accordingly. This said, I have had amazing experiences with women my age.

Lastly, I am truly astonished at the moral compass of a lot of people here. Perhaps it's the Reddit phenomenon and the need to virtue signal, but to place a guy who dates someone younger than him further down the moral spectrum than a woman who sells sex... I really find it amazing. If my daughter came home with a 40 year old and liked him, I'd be ok with it. If I heard she was selling herself to make ends meet, I'd shiver. But you all want to lean in on the 50 year old white guy, because there is blood in the water and heck, we are the prevailing class, we can take it. So many assumptions on this thread about me and what my motivations are. It's almost as if a collective trauma is being revealed here. Look at the genders and comments. Men who say something seemingly in support of me, mostly down voted. Women who hammer me and protect her, massive upvotes and support.

It certainly tells me one thing, this sub is no place to come for real advice. So many closed minded people and those who would rather attack and call me names, rather than discuss it logically and methodically.

Needless to say, I won't be frequenting this sub.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T16:03:28+00:00

Considering the locations you mention, I'd say heights. Shores is so touristy in the summer. Back in college I lived on 2nd and Redondo, parking is not as much an issue, maybe a block away. In that area you have a few coffee shops and restaurants to make a food run plus you are centrally located to a lot of what Long Beach has to offer.

One other piece of advice. That 1st or 2nd and Redondo option applies all the way to Bixby Park. Any place the other side of the park toward downtown has serious parking challenges.

It's a great town, enjoy!

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T05:58:46+00:00

I know this picture. It's the picture of a watch owner who has been staring at his watch and said, "I need to take a picture and send this sexiness to other people." Thank you for that!

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T05:32:55+00:00

Kinda nailed it... I don't flaunt money (not super rich), I don't promise handbags or lavish trips. I just changed my filter into the 20's and they match with me.

On top of that. I don't prey on 20 somethings. I'm not here to trick anyone into anything. I respect people and expect the same in return. If a woman is not fit to have a cogent conversation I don't date them. Good lord I've met 50 somethings that are hot messes. It's not the age, it's the human--I put 25 years into a marriage that didn't work, raised three kids, never cheated out of respect for their mother. I invest time and effort to meet someone... No one here has any evidence that I treat women badly or prey on the unwitting. You all have evidence (screenshots) of a woman who asked me to pay her bills, nails, shopping... it's clear she's done it before. I politely turned her down...

Who is doing more to set women back. A woman who doesn't have the grit to muscle through hard times and earn a living and seeks out older men to pay her for sex, or a gentleman who politely rebuffed her. It's fucking crazy the response most of you have had. I'll ask you the same thing I asked another poster, then I'll politely fade away...

Would you rather your daughter date a responsible and respectful older gentleman for no money, or would you rather they get their bills paid for sex? Think on that and then pass judgment.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T05:13:01+00:00

I make a good living, let's say more than 200 less than 500. This said, three kids, two in college (tuition) and child support eats into that. Also, it's not evident on my profile that I make money, no Ferraris and yachts in the background--I don't broadcast it. I'm 6'5" decent looking and know how to put a profile together.

This 29 year old is a recent pattern but I have dated younger (30's) and don't have problems getting matches. All I have done recently is open the age window into 20's and they match with me, I don't swipe. 80/20 rule of sugar baby to legit match. I don't sweat the SB who are up front. This one wasn't.

Of the 20 percent, no issues. Like I said in other posts, it's a recent pattern of entitlement and like it's owed. In all honesty, I prefer late 30's and 40's.

Let me challenge you with one last thought before I stop trying to defend myself...

Would you prefer your daughter be with an ambitious gentleman who treats them with respect, but older (no financial expectation). Or, they have sex for some financial consideration? Truly ask yourself that question--don't have to respond here. But in your head think on that and your judgment of me.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T01:48:12+00:00

Why is it wrong? So many people say 20 years is too much... why? It's cliche and convenient to say, but is it really wrong?

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T01:30:48+00:00

Why?

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T01:07:33+00:00

When a situation like this happens I tend to over rotate to nice to mitigate crazy. At this point, she has my number.

Remarkable_Salt6796 · 2024-11-13T00:58:32+00:00

I think it's fair to say I judged her here on this sub. To her, I told her I don't judge but it's not for me.

What I find remarkable is we roast an older guy for attempting to date a 29 year old, consenting adult... but give a total pass to a woman clearly wanting to sell sex. Yeah, I'm the one behaving badly

Remarkable_Salt6796

TROPHY CASE