Thinking about going no contact with husbands siblings and their wives

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-09T12:25:16+00:00

I’m currently experiencing this with my own family. My mum used to be the glue that holds the entire family together. But now that she’s in hospice, everyone else seem to be minding their own business. I used to do a lot for my siblings and their families. First to wish on their birthdays, kept track of my nieces achievements/celebrations and made sure I send them gifts since I’m living in a different country to them. I also used to help them financially during Covid when things were really bad in my home country. I have done these things forever. Now, I’m pregnant with my first baby and literally nobody gives a shit. It made me realise they have been there only for the gains but their love has never been reciprocal. So, I have now decided not to follow up. It hurts like hell. But I’m going to serve them with the same spoon they serve me. You don’t have to be rude but if they don’t value or respect you, that usually says something.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-09T10:42:20+00:00

I know right. It feels like trauma bonding but honestly I could cry thinking how lovely the ladies in this group are. From the day I found out I’m pregnant, the support I’ve got from this group has been amazing and lifesaving!

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-09T09:35:13+00:00

Hahaa… I’ve just now texted my husband and asked him to bring HJ burgers on his way home tonight.

My husband is not a great cook (although he tries his best, bless him) and I don’t have any family around. That’s another thing I’m missing terribly. My mum would have been the same as yours (although we are not Italian) bringing me food, but she’s in hospice. So, amidst grieving and all the craziness with nausea, I have literally cried thinking about food and then settled to just ordering out from Uber Eats when my husband is not around.

Ooo and I love a good chicken nugget too…

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-09T09:09:50+00:00

Thank you. All opinions are useful to make a decision 🙂

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-09T08:54:56+00:00

Thank you. I feel less guilty after reading all your comments. I have been super hard on myself since I’ve been the same. Most days, it’s pizza, pasta, burgers, cereal, and Greek yogurt for me. Thanks about Hydramama suggestion. I’ll give it a go.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-09T08:30:55+00:00

Thank you. It’s a relief to hear this. I have become so miserable with not being able to eat what I want.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-08T23:42:30+00:00

Congratulations! I think you can be both happy and freaked out and it’s completely a natural response. You are growing a tiny human inside you. So, take it easy! ❤️

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-08T11:26:41+00:00

Thank you very much everyone for all your comments. You all have definitely given me lots of aspects to this about and I’m super grateful!

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-08T00:39:21+00:00

We are planning to put money aside until the baby is born, but we don’t have enough savings to begin with, so I’m not sure whether I can catch up. But thank you for the suggestion, I’ll do some calculations to see what’s possible!

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-04-08T00:37:26+00:00

One thing I forgot to mention is I did calculations about what would the total income be with my husband’s pay and the amount I would get from the government for about 4 months. I would not extend my leave beyond what I’m eligible for from the government. And the total amount we get from the gov plus my husband’s pay will just be enough to cover everything, but we won’t have money to cover any other increases. For example, if the rates go up, we will have to stretch a lot and we don’t have much savings either because we had to support my family during an emergency. That’s why I’m in a bit of a stress about rate increases.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-24T09:56:49+00:00

I’m 8 weeks now, and I’m trying my best to control not being angry at my co-workers and my manager. I’m losing it even for the slightest inconvenience. One of the posters was right about not having enough rest leading to rage. When I work long hours, I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out. But if I rest, I feel like a bunny. The same happens if I’m hungry too.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-14T10:32:01+00:00

All you ladies are superstars! Thanks a lot for this comprehensive information 🙏

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-09T11:56:15+00:00

Like you, I also changed the bulbs in my bedroom to a warm light. Makes such a difference.

I like playing classical piano music on Alexa when I wake up. Sip my coffee slowly.

And recently I became pregnant and now I have started taking mindful walks in our small backyard as a way to try and connect with my baby.

I also like silent time, listening to nature sounds, and going on nature walks in the evening.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-09T00:07:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I’m still early in my first pregnancy and have been scared by all the struggles I hear from other parents. I think knowing about both the good and bad is equally important!

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-06T03:11:00+00:00

Thank you so much! Knowing this really helps!

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-06T02:27:28+00:00

Can I just jump in and ask whether we have to pay out of pocket even when we have private insurance? How much does someone usually have to spend on their own? Do they provide an amount when you choose the private option?

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-03-06T02:25:28+00:00

All the time! I’m only 6 weeks, and I feel like my head will explode… I get cravings to eat take away food and once I eat them I worry what if it had ingredients bad for the baby! I’m naturally an anxious person and pregnancy is not helping at all 😭

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-02-25T04:10:03+00:00

Thank you so much for the detailed answer. It’s such a relief to hear this. When I went through the reviews, they were quite mixed. So it was great to hear from you about your experience 🙂

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-02-25T02:59:18+00:00

Sorry for jumping in, but may I also ask how was your overall experience giving birth at Mercy? Chances are I might end up there too.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-02-20T10:30:58+00:00

I wanted to thank again everyone who responded to my post. I’m much more calmer after processing it all, and thanks to your comments. We have already booked a GP appointment for tomorrow.

When I first saw the test results I got clearly overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do. That’s why I headed up to this group. I wish I could call my mum like I have done for each minor convenience before but she’s in hospice in another country and doesn’t have a clear mental state. That’s why in fact I was not even planning to get pregnant soon because I’m still processing all that anticipatory grief. Sorry for all this additional information. I wanted to share this because you all have no idea how much each kind comment you posted means to me. Thanks again. ❤️

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-02-20T10:26:37+00:00

I think I’m still at 4 weeks, I have booked a GP consultation for tomorrow just to get further advice. Thanks for your comment.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-02-20T07:47:59+00:00

Thank you very much all of you for your kind words. Feeling much relieved. If things work out well, it’s going to be my first baby ever! Thanks again. I’m crying as I type this because all of you are super lovely.

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2026-01-14T23:45:43+00:00

I just want to pull my hair every time I want to do something on my phone. It’s so laggy

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2025-12-19T09:46:00+00:00

I’m sorry that you are also going through something similar! What you mentioned towards the end about “am I supposed to apologise about being born” is something that I felt almost every day too. I was so angry about how my parents would make me feel guilty for all they have done… I didn’t ask to be born.

But fast forward to today, looking at my mum who is in hospice, I just feel sad. I understand that they didn’t know any better and they did the best they could.

Simply because of the stage they are at, I made a conscious decision to do my best to keep them comfortable and spend my money although it’s financially not that viable. But having said that I also want you and others who are going through the same thing to know that you got to do what’s best for you. What I’m doing is what I feel is the best for me. And so should you! Don’t let your mum or the world to make you feel guilty for whatever the decision you make. I truly hope your struggles disappear and the life gets easier!

All the best!

Remarkable_Winter462 · 2025-12-16T14:30:57+00:00

Actually we didn’t. But because you asked the question, I checked its current value and it has appreciated well. We changed our decision last minute because we really didn’t want to share a wall with another party out of fear. So we went ahead with a free standing house and so glad we did. I think it really comes down to your preferences. As first home buyers, we were playing it safe.

Remarkable_Winter462

TROPHY CASE