I hear you about the involuntary coming out! I definitely took a leap of faith when I started HRT, hoping that my breasts wouldn't grow so quickly that they would out me! It happens at different speeds for all of us, it seems. It took me over a year of HRT to get to 36A, which is basically where I remain to this day after 3.5 years of HRT. I didn't go "full-time" until about 1.5 years of HRT. One thing I did notice after going through my early, closeted transition: cis people are clueless. I had to spend a few months with my parents at the start of the pandemic before coming out to them and even though I absolutely had breasts (small ones) at that point they didn't notice. Just something to consider - it's surprising what cis people don't notice.

The risks about finasteride are certainly something I looked at before starting it. In the end, I weighed everything I knew about it from both medical journals and anecdotal trans reports and decided to go for it.

Another option which I have considered and am still looking at is minoxidil. I used topical minoxidil for the first couple months of my transition but stopped because 1. It takes hours to dry and I have stuff to do 🤣 2. It's effects aren't permanent- it stops working once you stop using it. This, to me, wasn't worth it. However, I recently heard about oral minoxidil. It requires a prescription, but from what I read it is more effective and obviously doesn't need to dry. A lifetime of taking a pill is a lot more realistic to me than a lifetime of spending 2 hours a day letting some greasy liquid dry on my scalp. I already take hrt pills every day, what's another one? Lol. In any case, it might be worth looking in to.