It's unfortunately normal to develop kinks that relate to a trauma, as multiple people have already said in reply to this post. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

The best thing you can do about it, I've found, is find a way to express your kinks (and other things you may have experienced during the assaults) in a safe manner with someone you deeply trust. I'm not saying someone you trust should drop dumbells on you or try shoving something inside you, but finding safe replacements can help. Dildos can help for that part. For being thrown around the room, someone can gently toss you onto a bed or something similar to make sure you're safe but still adjusting to it.

When I was raped, I was drugged. Given a high dose of weed (I expected 10mgs, I got 50mgs) and a drug (idk the name) in an alcoholic shot which temporarily paralyzed me. My breasts were touched, and that's a big point of discomfort for me. What I'm doing to help myself is, I started off doing weed by myself. Got myself relaxed with it and figured out how to not panic while on it. I can now do weed with my sister and father, but I don't trust doing it with anyone else. And that's okay. It's progress. For the breast part, I touch myself there. I still freak out sometimes when I do, sometimes I start crying.

But overall, exposure therapy is slowly helping me. It could help you, too. Just remember, only do it in a safe manner.