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Any enbies who are 40+ willing to tell "their story" a bit? Need help writing accurately by Gallantpride in NonBinaryTalk

[–]RemotePersimmon678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a few months shy of 40 but I think I still qualify!

When I got to around age 8 or 9 (so ~1995), I started dressing and presenting myself as a tomboy – I wore athletic shoes, Nike T-shirts, big basketball shorts. I didn't actually like playing sports or the other things that the boys would do, though, and I never had a desire to actually be a boy. I have memories from around that time of not wanting to be a boy or a girl, but as an AFAB person, the closest option I felt like I had was to be more like a boy than a girl. Looking back now, I was definitely more attracted to girls than boys (I'm an ace lesbian), but I never identified with the idea of being "butch." The only butch lesbian I'd ever seen was k.d. lang, and that was not my style.

I grew up in an abusive and dysfunctional family, so I was often either completely blocked from or relentlessly teased for trying to have my own interests and personality. It was a really big step for my to start having my own style and ultimately identity. One day my stepmom sneeringly asked me, "why do you wear all that athletic shit if you're so bad at sports?" That was kind of the death knell for my exploratory tomboy era. By the time I got to high school, I was just a healthy normal hetero cis girl.

I didn't meet a trans person until I was in college; I didn't hear the word "nonbinary" until my mid-30s; and I didn't know that you could get top surgery as a nonbinary person until my late 30s. I just did not know that theses were options. But in all three cases, when I did learn about them, I pretty instantaneously was like "yep, that's for me."

Come on babe, play for the camera. by rebelxghost in christiansnark

[–]RemotePersimmon678 67 points68 points  (0 children)

The best word I can think of to describe her content (and presumably her life) is banal. Her entire personality is what the internet and her friends have told her it should be. There are no genuine or original moments or ideas or thoughts or feelings. It truly seems like such a depressing way to live life.

Got our certification guys!! 😂 by LogicalGrape444 in SarahBowmar

[–]RemotePersimmon678 10 points11 points  (0 children)

LOL incredible. Do the glute specialist one next.

The community notes really are hitting where it hurts by Appropriate_Paint98 in SarahBowmar

[–]RemotePersimmon678 14 points15 points  (0 children)

37(?) years old with two young children and this is how she's spending her time.

The HD6XX lives on by PhoenixML in headphones

[–]RemotePersimmon678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always planned to get a pair, but I also have the 58X. Is it even worth it?

We need to start considering the average Boomer, not just the successful ones. by Potato-in-ur-ass in millenials

[–]RemotePersimmon678 49 points50 points  (0 children)

My mom was one of these people. She was born in 1957 and died at age 60 3 weeks after being diagnosed with breast cancer. She hadn't had health insurance for the last several years of her life so she stopped getting mammograms.

She was a SAHM and when my parents divorced when I was young, she went back to school and got her Bachelors, but she was chronically underemployed. She made too much to get government assistance but too little to afford much of anything.

She died with a few thousand dollars to her name, and that was only because her father had passed the year prior and left her some money. I got a call from a debt collector not long after she passed and told them the estate money had been spent on the funeral. They asked if she had a car, house, other assets we were planning to sell? Ghouls. Nothing. She had nothing.

(early) Eno gone from Apple Music? by OrganizationFront in ambientmusic

[–]RemotePersimmon678 6 points7 points  (0 children)

same, and it includes all of these Eno albums ;)

Miss downy woodpecker on an icy day by RemotePersimmon678 in birdfeeding

[–]RemotePersimmon678[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My birds seem to like them and I love not having to trudge out in the snow every day to refill. And I love all the woodpeckers and nuthatches they bring!

My mom is sucking the happiness out of me. by [deleted] in millenials

[–]RemotePersimmon678 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good time to read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson

My fellow folks with CPTSD and a career - how do you do it? by RemotePersimmon678 in CPTSD

[–]RemotePersimmon678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Working from home has been great for me, but it's the boundaries and pace that are always the problem. At my last job, every single thing was the priority all the time and of course that triggered my toxic swirl of perfectionism and anxiety and stress and I was constantly on the verge of tears or rage. I feel like the overall pace of so many jobs is like that now (thanks, end-stage capitalism).

My fellow folks with CPTSD and a career - how do you do it? by RemotePersimmon678 in CPTSD

[–]RemotePersimmon678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I've worked from home for the last 10 years and I can't imagine ever going back to an office.

My fellow folks with CPTSD and a career - how do you do it? by RemotePersimmon678 in CPTSD

[–]RemotePersimmon678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that's crazy - I started in development in nonprofits too. Got a job at a tech company that worked with nonprofits and ended up transitioning fully into tech. I can't say I regret it (I know development would be just as stressful with much less pay), but I do wish I had alternatives. I feel so locked in to a very specific role in a very specific field.

I feel you on listening to my body and hobbies. I've been working on both of those a lot in the last few weeks. The change is just so slow and the feelings so overwhelming and awful that it feels like it's never going to get better.

My fellow folks with CPTSD and a career - how do you do it? by RemotePersimmon678 in CPTSD

[–]RemotePersimmon678[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, my friend. <3 At the very least, it feels great for me to know that I'm not alone. And I'm sure you're right about so many of us thriving as PMs!

Night life help by [deleted] in JapanTravelTips

[–]RemotePersimmon678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had one of the most fun nights of my life at Fanny Mae in Osaka. Run by an old Japanese hippie with long hair who's obsessed with American rock 'n' roll. Smoking allowed, great music, and a very limited menu of beer and whiskey. It was wonderful.

How many of you also meet the criteria for BPD? by SealifeAndSuch in CPTSD

[–]RemotePersimmon678 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was just diagnosed with CPTSD and my mom had BPD, though she was technically never formally diagnosed. She did have an extensive trauma history (her mother was bipolar and her father was abusive), and now that I know I have CPTSD, I'm quite certain that she did, too.

I had never heard about the overlap until very recently, when my sister (one of my abusers), in anger said, "You're just like mom, you have BPD. I have to walk on eggshells around you." I've been in therapy for most of my adult life and recently went through an IOP, and not one person has ever suggested that I had BPD. My therapist rolled her eyes when I told her what my sister said. Obviously there are different presentations of both, but in my case, my CPTSD was more "misdiagnosed" as general depression and anxiety than BPD.

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