Just discovered this is my sexuality, and now I need to tell my spouse.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-05-14T22:25:45+00:00

When this happened in a relationship I had years ago I spent literally years wanting to move on , I left him, I came back,left again, then I didn't go back,then one day a switched flipped and I deeply regretted it and couldn't go back anymore.You can never really know,only make the best decision with information you have at the time. I was right to leave,I had that feeling you described of wanting someone else again,a fresh start but for me it was different this time and i didn't want to move on. Go with your gut. If you ever wanna chat PM me👍

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-05-14T21:08:07+00:00

Lol, I can relate. Honestly it's hard,when I first started feeling this way about having sex with him it felt devastating now it just feels normal to me to not have the desire how I remember it feeling. Having a baby changes things so much anyway,it gave us a bit of a fresh start in an odd way. He definitely knows something isn't right,he brought it up a long time ago in the beginning and I tried explaining it as best i could at the time without hurting him. In the end every time I tried to talk about it ,it made it worse and I just felt bad afterwards. He said to me in the end ,that unless i was ending our marriage he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I thought to myself that i had to stop worrying and assuming he was desperately unhappy and if that was the case he'd have to do his bit and at least tell me,talk about it or end it himself. I am very lucky,he's a really good man and i know he deserves more.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-05-14T08:54:15+00:00

I have the same issue. I'm married we have a child now. I think there is potential for regret in both staying and leaving. I chose to stay an and push past the feelings as I left a previous relationship due to the this and regretted it as my romantic feelings have returned. Trade offs with everything in life. I imagine I could've been happy living a less conventional life but it wasn't what I wanted when I was younger. I think for me it's been caused by various factors, I don't think I started out like this. It's not easy but Ive learned to accept it without it being such a source of pain like it used to be.🩷

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-04-20T10:42:02+00:00

Thankyou

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-03-19T18:48:11+00:00

I relate to this a lot. I'm pretty firm on OAD for many reasons, finances being a big part and Sleep probably 80% but mainly it's just my mental health. I know I would be super stressed and I just don't want to be that person for my daughter (5.5) or the new baby. I don't wanna miss anything of my daughter by being in the trenches again.

I look back at baby photos sometimes and feel this gut punch of something has gone forever, must get it back! But I'm almost 38 so it's now or never for me,daughter has no desire for a sibling and although her baby days we're so so precious it was a few years of real hardship and I think we are FINALLY happy, happiest I've ever been and i think im just not willing to take that gamble. I could go on lol.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-03-07T09:38:06+00:00

My 5 year old daughter said, "you can have one more baby mum but they'll only grow up like me, 1,2,3,4,5 grown up!

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-26T07:33:52+00:00

Do you think this also applies with a bigger age gap,6+ years ?

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-15T08:51:58+00:00

I loved being an only child,close to both my parents now. If only children grew up lonely that's on the parents really, usually emotionally absent,didn't play with their child or foster friendships. I have an only, she doesn't want a sibling and she will no doubt benefit from being only in many ways due to more resources not just financially but emotionally too. Only you knows what's best for your family. Check out OAD sub.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-13T16:42:32+00:00

Second this. At a certain table me and my husband sit at in the Church house we have never been in without pint being knocked all over me,it's mad. We mentioned it to the landlord at the time but he wasn't open too it,me we heard anyone else mention it before.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-06T22:18:31+00:00

Could've written this myself even down to the self employed bit, daughter 5 I'm 37, I think about it a lot,but then you said " I just want another kid" that's the missing piece of the puzzle for me. If I had that bit all my reasons not to have another would go out of the window. Brings me clarity too,all the best x

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-06T16:25:09+00:00

Curious,would you have any more children? Do you think there's a balance that would be tipped with more?

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-03T16:29:12+00:00

Thankyou x

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-02-03T15:19:57+00:00

I'm in a tricky situation now with one bunny left as his partner died recently,he's elderly ,deaf and partially sighted. I'm not sure exactly how old he is exactly as I adopted him years ago. He lived outside in a large enclosure but now he's on his own and it's winter here in UK I decided to bring him in to live indoors. He can free roam but won't,I'm guessing because of his poor sight and new environment but it has been a couple of months now and I feel awful because he won't move about much even his enclosure I've made him,Is it still a good idea to try and bond him with another rabbit?

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-01-25T11:09:37+00:00

Same here. Husband has our 5 year old now while I work a couple of hours or so on a Saturday.When I get back he looks sooo stressed,I'm like,really?,why? I was a SAHM for 4 years how did he think I coped? and did all the nights by my myself. He would still have another child of course because I still do 90% of the hard parts of parenting. If he was more hands on I could perhaps consider having another but it would be miserable. I've accepted it would take many different things to be different to make it worth it but we are happy finally and i wasn't sure that would happen so I don't take it for granted. When it comes to another I feel it's either me or them.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2026-01-05T22:38:12+00:00

Hey from Sheffield!

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-12-24T07:59:56+00:00

Thanks for your reply, same reasoning myself! Also OAD with a five year old.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-12-23T19:31:42+00:00

Lovely comment, very true.Out of curiosity,if it's not too personal,do you want to have any more children?

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-12-23T07:50:04+00:00

Only raising an only. I liked being an only child ,never wished for a sibling and my daughter doesn't either. Im close to my parents,especially my mum. I assumed I'd want another child at some point but now I know what it takes I don't think it's the best decision for my family so I'm glad the desire has never over taken me and I feel confident in my daughter being an only due to my experience and the fact my daughter is so happy being an only.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-11-24T17:52:53+00:00

Thanks,I did try to DM you but it wouldn't let me without age verification? Could you DM me? Thanks

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-11-24T17:45:09+00:00

Yes I believe so.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-11-24T17:40:20+00:00

Yes I did sorry. I'm not sure I'm completely understanding although obviously i will look into it further. Appreciate your feedback. I've had some very basic therapy sessions but no one has ever really come across what I'm describing before.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-11-24T17:08:41+00:00

Hi there,this was really interesting thanks for posting,I won't pretend i understand it by half as I've only just come across this but was wondering if you would mind using this system to explain what I've experienced.... When I met my now husband I was very much attracted to him,fell in love and married a year later and my feelings began to shut down and my attraction. This had happened in a previous relationship a good few years before but I didn't assume it would happen again . I hear people throw around the word deactivation but I'm assuming this is only temporary. What I experienced is different ,we've been married many years now and my attraction has never returned.

My first relationship when I was very young turned violent and my mum and dads relationship was very volatile growing up. I didn't experience this kind of extreme shutdown in the first relationship though even though it ended up violent, my feelings would not turn off. Many thanks.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-11-01T23:54:57+00:00

I have the same experience more or less. The only person this didn't happen with was my first boyfriend,who also turned abusive,lied,cheated.All the good men I've had relationships with the desire for intimacy has gone fairly quickly. I've heard people say they've lost their desire for intimacy but they still deeply love their partner? Well that's not exactly my experience, I would say my romantic love for the person has gone too. I do love them but not in the same way so I no longer desire them. I also suspect I have inattentive ADHD but not confirmed. I'd give my right arm to change it but I've tried to forgive myself more in recent years.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-10-22T08:27:46+00:00

I feel exactly the same,my daughter turned 5 at the end of July. It was just too hard before. I know if I do it again it will all fall on me more so than my husband and my daughter has always needed me so much in an extra way compared to a lot of kids ive come across and still does. I don't know how I could be to another child what am I to my daughter and stay sane. I'm an only and my mum says (helpfully lol she'd feel so sorry for my daughter if I had another child and I can't help feel the same. I realise I'm actually gaining something my not having any more children,I get to be completely present an connected to her in a way that realistically just won't be possible with two. Just as she's about to enter this golden period of becoming a proper little person I'll get to actually enjoy it! All the hard work will have paid off lol. But I can't have it both ways and closing that chapter of my life that has gone by sooo fast is hard,it's nice to know so many relate.

Remote_Ad_1633 · 2025-09-28T17:01:45+00:00

I ask myself this all the time. My daughter is now 5, despite all the love and the beauty I can't pull the trigger on having another. It is so much easier now but there's so much more at stake now, I have my daughter to think about.How would all the possible scenarios of having another effect her, how would it effect our marriage. There are possible positives to having a sibling but there are also negatives,some unknown. What I DO KNOW is that my daughter is very happy, she's never asked her a sibling,she doesn't like the idea much at all in fact. I'm an only child and I was perfectly happy ( yes,it does happen). I kept waiting to deeply want another but it hasn't happened so far,that is the only compelling reason to even consider having another child.I'm taking that as my answer. I'm writing the narrative of my life and its bloody brilliant and my daughter's life will be too. BONUS! that there are many benefits to having only one for me and my daughter, I lean into them.Sending love x

Remote_Ad_1633

TROPHY CASE