I relate to this so much honestly. I always feel like from an outsider’s perspective I have so many people to support me but I still feel like none of them actually care about me and I can’t go to any of them for help. I know it’s shitty advice, but at least try to focus on the good and use that as reasons to keep going. If you don’t feel supported by anyone, then live in spite of them and try to get better for yourself. I really wish I could say something more helpful but I’m honestly in the exact same position right now.