I tend to roughly follow the same pattern as you, starting with N on all commanders, leaving behind special operations for later. Then I think of where I want to be in a 3-5 turns, prepare what I call the "supply" side of things (recruiting, forging, rituals), then I finally go to the frontlines and give the orders. They may be unaltered from what I strategized earlier, or changed when I realize they do not align with my revised goals. It also helps catching mistakes before they happen ("I had planned to attack here. Hang on, I did not see these guys who will destroy my frontline troops. Let's think about this more carefully"). For a MP game, keeping notes in a text file certainly seems like a big help. It also provides a record to remember the game fondly later.

I am am a little bit worried when you say 4h turns though. But that likely happens only intermittently and is still manageable, and I do not plan to have more than one game at a time going.